To the sea . . .

Jim drove the Motor home to the Cape and back.

Really quite comfortable accommodations. Especially for me.

I tend to have to move around more than a car would allow.

I thank God for this huge blessing.

Finally, we got away for a much needed vacation. Jim and I have been through so much in the past year and a half . . . now it was time for some fun. We headed out to sea via Massachusetts. First stop, Sandwich, then Falmouth, then Hyannis, then Provincetown and then Martha's Vineyard.

We took our bicycles and that was a great thing. We cycled all over the place, maybe a little too much cycling since we did rent a car. I would've preferred to be chauffeured around a little bit more, but not this trip. This was all about motion, staying in constant motion.

Falmouth, MA Town Center


Then, it's off the boat literally and para sailing over Provincetown Harbor

I was getting a little nervous . . .

But no time for that it's up, up and away . . . so beautiful, so much fun, we highly recommend this . . .

Next we went whale watching. We try and do this where ever it's offered. This particular experience was mind blowing. Jim and I were sending out love and energy to the whales before we got out there. No really. We were seriously mindful and sent out energy. It was waiting for us out there.

There is always a chance you won't see anything. NOT THIS TIME. The whales waived us out to sea, met us out there and then, waved us back home. It was amazing. Magical. Spiritual. Peaceful. Godly. . . . check it out . . .

This is a humpback with her calf.
They were sleeping - just rolling and breathing. They call it logging, since when you approach them, they look like logs on the surface of the water . . .





Race Point is where you catch the most awesome sunsets...

Very romantic . . .

This particular nite, the seals swam up the coast line . . . huge seals . . .they brought a smile to the adults and made the children scream with joy.

I could post all day about our adventures...but that's enough for one day. Hope you enjoyed our trip as much as we did.

Namaste & Love

Le Chaim, Le Chaim, To Life!

When you partner with an energy like my cat Mango, you'll not soon forget him. Getting along without him becomes a very conscious effort. I see him everywhere. I feel him everywhere.

It's hard to stop doing something you've done for twenty three years. Just now, I came back home from running some errands and the first thing, THE FIRST THING, I did when I came in the door, was look for him.

Time for cats to eat, I want to call him.

Time to go outside, I want to make sure all are present and accounted for. The rhythm has been 'one, two, three, four', 'one, two, three, four'. Now, obviously the fourth is no longer. The number four is no longer applicable. The even is now odd. For sure.

So, I'm still grieving. That's okay. It's not even been a full week yet. I've yet to pick up his remains. Still grieving.

But, and this is a big BUTT, I completed Reiki II and at least, now my prayers can availeth that much more.

Reiki II is not the same as Reiki I. It's more. More love, more healing, more presence, more confidence ("faith as small as a mustard seed" and growing).

I dedicate my Reiki II to Mango. A few weeks ago when I put my hands on him to give him Reiki, his response was palpable. He purrrrred so loudly and looked right up at me. I knew he felt what the universe was offering him through me.

I dedicate my future Reiki Mastership on the whole to Dina & Bobbi, women of light. Young, beautiful women full of light and life taken from this world too soon.

Dina was more to me than I realized. She pointed me in several different spiritual directions that I appreciate so much more now than at the time.

Bobbi was also more. She loved Reiki. She loved life. She was a healer. She encouraged me to do the same. She would be very proud today to know that I am moving forward.

I hope to have all of their blessings from the far and beyond - to the right here and now. They have mine.

So, to my beloved Mango, my friend Dina and my inspiration Bobbi,

...you have all made me want to be a better person. A healer. A teacher. An author. A friend. A lover of life. I dedicate my life to all of you.

To the Higher Power within all of you still and within me.

To the oneness that we are and will always be.

To the separation that does not exist.

Le Chaim, Le Chaim. To life!

May Elohim, The Most High God be praised forever for He has given us much.

Yoti's last photo in the yard

Today is the second and a half day without my boy Mango (Yoshi Mangashito).

I've been able to sleep the past two nights, surprisingly. I've been so exhausted by the time the night hour rolls around I basically just 'fall' asleep. My husband nudged me awake last night. He said I was breathing really deeply and I guess it scared him. Not sure what was going on there, but I can tell you this...

today...my heart hurts,
...my head hurts,
...my mind cannot focus,
...my eyes hurt,
...my throat is dry,
...my soul aches,
...my spirit is shattered,
...if I was ever complete, today not so

...but it's getting better.

I had to say something positive at the end there whether I believe it or not, right? Right!

These have been the hardest days.

Mango was my silent companion for half of my life. We grew up together, explored together, ate together, slept together, walked together, listened to music together, relocated together, married Jimmy together and just very recently I showed him how the sun breaks up into a million lights when it hits a crystal. The rainbows and flashes of light streamed all over the room and he looked (seriously - he was totally engaged) around at all of them and then back at me as if to say 'hey Mom, how come you never showed me that before'?

We smiled at each other in the rainbows of light.

Mango was always so regal. He had an M marked clearly on his head between his ears. We would actually call him "King Mango". Jim actually gets the credit for that name. Mang had a look about him. He was so conscious. He payed attention. If the doorbell would ring, he would come with me to see who it was. Most times, whoever it was knew him and greeted him accordingly. He was very social. Probably too social at times. But, that's what made him so special. He wasn't common, but he loved the commoners. : )

One of my favorite things to do with Mango? There were many through the years. But consistently, I would hold him and walk around the house showing him and talking to him about everything....he'd stay in my arms for as long as I wanted to hold him. He used to push his nose into my hair and listen most attentively to every word I said. He would stare at me for hours. Just looking. Much love.

When he was kitten, so tiny and small, I would rub his belly and kiss his little grey and white spots. Then, I would bring him up to my face for kisses and he would nuzzle under my neck. He never stopped doing that. Even after he reached 12+ pounds he still thought he was a tiny and small kitten under his Mama's neck. Pretty funny and heavy. I'm ashamed to say sometimes I would shoo him down. It's hard to walk around with a 12+ pound cat under your chin. But make no mistake, Mango was not heavy, he was my brother, son, friend, family. I would've carry him forever if I could.

What I wouldn't give to hold him one more time.

So, since I was with him since the day he was born, it was only fair to him to be with him in his last moments. We had to take him to the vet. He was so disoriented and not functioning with control. We had hope that perhaps Dr. Wilson of Cedar Grove Animal Hospital would laugh at us and tell us to take him back home.

Jimmy and I both took the news pretty badly that the time had come. Ultimately, it was my decision and I pray to the Most High God to never EVER EVER EVER have to make that decision again. I wanted Mango to fall asleep in his bed and go to God that way, not by my hand. Not by drugs. I didn't want his last memory to be one of the travel case, exam at Dr.'s office, etc.

Rosie standing by the travel case.

I was shocked to see the cross.

See the cross and rainbow?

Otherwise I would never have taken a picture.

The rainbow and cross appeared on the hardwood floor right in front of the carry case (see the single strand of cat hair?). The cross was formed by the cage. Ironic. I also dreamt of many many colors, a flood of color last night. Not sure what that means if anything.

He didn't want to get into the travel case. I had to push him slightly. That was gut wrenching and it only got worse after that. I can barely type these words. He started to cry and when we were in the office, he saw the door and we could see him thinking "I've got to get out of here".

Jim said "why don't you let him make a run for it". It would've been Mango's style to just slip out the door into the neighborhood and disappear into someones flower garden. But two seconds after that he would've been disoriented and of course I was never going to let that happen, but it's amazing how your mind navigates an escape route for your beloved as well as yourself in times like these.

That's when the room starts to spin and the hard part of reality sets in. I get the look from Dr. Wilson. They weigh him. He's lost almost half of his body weight since his visit last year. He's not the same boy he used to be. He's emaciated, a shell of what he once was. Dr. Wilson said "if the day before was his best day, and it wasn't a great day - it's definitely not going to get any better". I did not want my boy to suffer. I could not allow my boy to suffer.

The time had come.

I had to shake my head up and down indicating my decision and make eye contact with Dr. Wilson. He left the room to get the injection. Jim and I just reached down and held our boy until it was over. He put his little head down and it was done.

We are having him cremated so I will be called to pick up his remains shortly. I will keep them with me. I couldn't imagine sprinkling them anywhere I wasn't going to be forever. Who knows, maybe one day I'll find a place that's appropriate, but I doubt it.

Mango was always with me. Mango was meant to be with me. Mango is still with me. Mango will always and forever be in the quiet resting of my heart.

I love you Yoti. Thank you for every thing.

Boy, you are always mine.

Until I see your beautiful green eyes again.

Smooches, Hugs, Rubs, Treats x 1,000,000,000 and then some,

and of course all of my love and all of the love in the universe,

but you already have that.

xoxo =^..^= xoxo

Our Beloved Mango

The following post is dedicated to Mango who passed away yesterday. I will post a more fitting memorial to him later.

* * *

Mango, Yoshi Mangashito, Mangalito, whichever you prefer, is twenty three years old. I've had him since the day he was born. He has gone everywhere with me. When we moved here he disappeared for over 16 days. He got out and took a long walk I guess. Those were sixteen of the longest days and nights. It was October and getting cold so I knew he'd be cold, hungry and scared. This was a new neighborhood for all of us. Behind our house is a pond with all sorts of wildlife - he is a city boy growing up on the streets of Bayonne. He doesn't know about some of the wildlife that exists...like raccoon, geese, opossum. Somehow, he returned to me unharmed only to find me two timing him with Squeakie and Cricket. But let me explain...


I was absolutely heart broken after searching for him non-stop for two weeks. I roamed the neighborhood, put up fliers, combed the shelters. I finally accepted the fact that he was gone. In an effort to ease my broken heart, I went to the pound one last time hoping to find him there. I found Squeakie Rose and Cricket instead. No sooner did I bring those two girls home, then Mango showed back up at the front door no less, meowing his head off to get in. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard his mew outside the house one sunny morning. I opened the door and saw my boy there. I was ecstatic to find him without a scratch, just extremely tired and hungry. After a quick run to the vet to make sure he was okay, he took to the couch for a week and was shortly thereafter back to his old self. I have no idea where he was, but he was back and that's all that mattered. But something happened after that that I never expected.

Mango and Squeakie Rose became more than just friends. They hug and nuzzle and sleep together. It's the sweetest thing to see and I couldn't be happier. See for yourself. . .









Not bad for an old guy in retirement. Mango lives a very comfortable, safe life, except when he crosses Cricket's path (notice she's not in this picture), then it's every cat for themselves. I've broken up many a fight. It's really more than I can take sometimes. I never wanted four cats. I had Mango, he disappeared. In come Squeak and Cricket and I swear off all other cats forever until the 'black and white cookie cat' Mohito decided to join the family. But this time, that's it! she said with seriousness in her voice. Seriously though, it is a big responsibility. For the most part, we cannot travel when we want to, and when we do travel we have to get a cat sitter to come to our home twice a day, not to mention the clean up, cost of food, litter, doctor visits, etc.




And then there's the other side. The side that says it's good to share your life with these creatures. Every little bit you give to them comes back to you tenfold. And when you least expect it, they give even more than you could ever imagine. Somehow, they are very sensitive and when you're hurting they seem to pay extra special attention to you during those times. I think they cry when you cry and then they try to cheer you up with their unpredictible antics. All of these creatures have shown outstanding love and compassion to us. I guess we'll keep them.

One Drum One Life

I've always danced to the beat of my own drum. I've always been slightly different than the rest of my friends. I have a tendency to be deep and go deeper still. Not everyone appreciates this and that's okay.

I don't appreciate shallowness so I guess we're even or at least balanced. What's the lyric from the band Jars of Clay (one of my favs)?

"Blessed are the shallow for depth they'll never find".

I search for depth. I search for meaning. I search for truth. I seek righteousness. I seek love. I seek to understand and to be patient. I mostly seek God and I must say, I've never been disappointed for He has met me more than half way.

But I understand why some don't dare search for deeper meaning. It gets sticky. It's not easy. It's not easy to look directly at yourself, scars and all. It's awful sometimes. We can be so human. We fall. We crawl. We scrape. We hide.

Again, quoting Jars of Clay

"If I were not so weak, if I were not so cold, if I were

not so scared of being broken growing old, I would be . . . frail".

Wow. That's so deep and awesome. Think about that. All the things we want to be in this lifetime - we can be all of them - yet we're still frail.

Perhaps that's the blessed message of love. You are frail. You cannot live this life without the Holy Intercession of God. Well, you can try, but depth you'll never find.

All knowing God still puts breath in your lungs every morning. He puts love in your heart and intellect in your brains and strength in your bodies for many reasons. Mostly His own.

Go deeper if you want to find the real purpose in your life. While there is still time and breath in your lungs, go deeper still.

Wolf in Sheeps Clothing

This blog is dedicated to readers that are interested to learn about others through love, kindness and support. These are the readers that I am interested in reaching and corresponding with.

There are some however, that come out from the darkness with their ugly, disruptive, adolescent mindsets. Be aware of them. They are imposters and merely a distraction.

If someone like this contacts you, rebuke them instantly. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. They know who they are and they would prefer to remain imposters. Reveal their true identity and they become powerless. Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

Children of the light continue to shine on. God is watching.

As for the rest, get saved man, get saved.

Love and life are made manifest every day in every breath we take, if we choose them to be.

Love and life can be included with morning tea, afternoon lunch, dinner and dessert and if you're lucky, everything in between.

Despite our circumstances.

I realize how hard that is, how hard life can sometimes be, and how easy it is to give in and compromise where we shouldn't. But don't. Don't backslide. Stay the love and life course.

1st Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

13"And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Realize that by the Grace of Almighty God you are here but for a moment on this planet, in this universe, in this galaxy with the rest of human and spirit kind as well as all living things.

What you choose to do with this moment effects the entire universe, least of all your individual world.

So, in the face of a life or death choice "choose life" as Jesus commanded quoting Moses.

The Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy talks about blessings and curses, life and death. This is really powerful. I've read through the Old and New Testaments and these passages have always stayed with me. Moses wrote the Book of Deuteronomy with means "second law". After forty years the Israelites were about the enter the Promised Land of Canaan. But before they did, Moses wanted to remind them of their history, all that God had done for them, and the laws they had to continue to obey as God's chosen people. Bet you didn't know that it was Moses who told the people to 'love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength' in order to continue to enjoy God's blessing.

Interesting to note that these Holy Words are only 320 pages into the Bible. I've included the whole Chapter.

Deuteronomy 30
Prosperity After Turning to the LORD

When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, 2 and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. 4 Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back.

5 He will bring you to the land that belonged to your fathers, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. 6 The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. 7 The LORD your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. 8 You will again obey the LORD and follow all his commands I am giving you today.

9 Then the LORD your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers, 10 if you obey the LORD your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

The Offer of Life or Death

11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Can I get an AMEN! Wow. Moses was serious. Loving God has many benefits. Choosing to turn your back on God, not such a good idea.

The choice since the very beginning has always been ours. It is there for the taking. You can either embrace life or not, blessings or not. Be prepared though. Your choices have consequences.

As for me and my house, we are and always shall be in great anticipation of the continued blessings the King of the Universe prepares to bestow upon us. We shall receive them with great gratitude and humility and will declare that we have these things and can do these things because of the Great God we serve.

If you are experiencing a deeper awakening than ever before, you are not alone. There are millions of people on this planet at this very moment who are sending out Agape love, healing, and prayers, despite their circumstances, to everyone and anyone in need.

You can tap into and receive that energy by focusing your attention on love and life and healing. Ghandi said "be the change you want to see in the world". Begin by praying for the world, your world.

Choose life and be a part of the shift in our mindsets to seek after the things that are not of this world.

Dreams and Visions

Last night's dream was interesting. I dreamt it was a beautiful, calm, still night. I was alone, standing in what appeared to be an alley - or my backyard standing next to a familiar fence (we just put in a new fence). I was in a safe place. In the light of the night I saw some mist moving around me and then I looked up to see a full moon. I was completely filled with the knowledge of His Presence and I began to pray thankfully to My Most High God . . .

...would you believe something off into the distance called me away and I woke up to a ringing phone. ugggghhhhh!

I forgot about the dream until now. Truly, what a blessing to have such a great and awesome dream. My immediate interpretation was...Holy Emmanuel (meaning God with us; or God with me). Wow! That's humbling.

Psalm 8:4 "...what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him"?

I spend time in prayer seeking His Holy Countenance and then I have a dream like this one with Holy Mist and I know God is with me. I know God makes my path straight because I ask Him to. When the unpredictability of life happens, as it does everyday, I pray. And I tell you from the depths of my soul that Romans 8:28 is true.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." People always leave that last part out...they always say "...God works all things together for the good..." period and they stop there. But the rest of that Scripture is extremely important, "...for those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose".

I believe we are all called to the Creators' higher purpose and whoever responds with openness and love and is ready for duty -- get this -- r e c e i v e s. Receives the necessary gifts, talents and faith to minister to and heal the world. That's what life is all about. Simple huh?

I am compelled to pray, seek and communicate about spiritual matters. I am in awe of the love I feel inside and I believe it can only be emanating from and returning to its source.

I make myself forever available to that source of light, love and miracles.

I believe that dream was God returning to me all the time that I put in. God knows the spiritual manifestation inside of me that is growing and is eternal. He knows that's the part of myself that I love to nurture most. He should know since He's placed that desire inside of me and He reinforces those notions every day (and every night : ).

Mighty Lessons Learned

One of the biggest mistakes that I've ever made was not allowing myself to feel something, whatever that may have been at the time.

Perhaps I was going through a painful experience and instead of facing it head on, praying about it, talking about it (with the right people) I would either pretend I wasn't feeling it, or numb myself by getting into even more trouble.

That set me back monumentally. It's self sabotage.

I realize we do these things because it's hard to feel bad feelings, sad feelings, insecure or frightening feelings. Sometimes life is not all sweetness and air. Sometimes it's damp and heavy and musty and depressing.

I have found that over time it is best to acknowledge and accept whatever it is. You have to eventually anyway if you want to lead a healthy, productive, evolved, illuminating, conscious, forgiving, nurturing (to yourself as well as others) and gift filled life.

If you allow yourself to turn away from that which haunts you, you will only continue to be haunted. Perhaps it will show up when you least expect it.

We trick ourselves into thinking 'this or that' doesn't bother us. That it's all under control. But then the ripples on the surface of our lake break, and the cycle of pain and denial begins all over again.

It becomes a re-living of that very experience that you thought you'd put behind you. It taunts you. It teases you. It has all the power over you as long as you choose not to face it.

Once you do face it head on, however, the flood gates of anxiety, fear, pain, sorrow, remorse, anger, they all release and come to the surface. At that point, you can either turn away because it's too much or you can work through it. You might get sicker before you get better, but like any infection with a little care it will clear up.

I have many emotional scars that I tend to. All mighty lessons learned. I don't try to deny that they exist or that I once felt a certain way in particular. I am who I am. I went through what I went through. Life happens to all of us and it makes us stronger in the end, I am convinced because I am proof.

Today, I am living in the present moment. If something arises on the surface and bothers me, I tend to look deeper to find the root (if there is one). I will allow myself to feel. Feel the sorrow. Feel the loss. Feel the insecurity of it all. If it is a deep rooted feeling and I know the origination, I pray and meditate and give that over to God. I 'give it over' to God by releasing it into the air, into the Spirit, into Grace.

God waits all day for us to give Him our struggles and He happily takes them and replaces them with peace, strength and a sense of space where there was none before. That space can then be used by God to teach us about the true essence of the strength in growing and evolving from humanity into Spirit.

Embrace the evolution and rejoice! What you are to be you are still becoming.

Love & Namaste

With Faith Like A Child . . .

If you haven't figured it out by now, I love photography. These are some images that I am very proud of. They make me laugh. They make me cry. Mostly, they make me smile.

Following are some of my most favorite people on the planet. They are the future of both spirit and humanity. In some cases, I believe the image captures both. They are intelligent, hysterical, creative, soulful, playful, generous, warm and full of love (to say the least).

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