Personal identity is different for everyone. I've always been very comfortable belonging to God. I've always felt the complete devotion and surrounding love of God despite my comings and goings. It's as if the times I wandered the furthest away God was somehow watching me and willing me closer. I've never felt abandoned or even judged by God. I can say that in prayer, however, God has gently revealed the flaws that this human needed to change. God would nudge me one way or the other, and if I were smart and paying attention, I would modify that behavior and reap the reward for obedience. I remember being criticized by those closest to me because they couldn't understand this relationship. It didn't matter to me though, it was and is truly who I am at my deepest core. I am a child of God. I can say that and hold my head up high. This kind of love is AGAPE love - it is selfless, spiritual and Godly.
I had a crucifix in my bedroom at that time. It was very well made. I know because everynight I would remove the nails from Jesus's hands and feet. I would take Him down from His cross and give Him rest. I couldn't all together understand the crucifixion at that young age, except that I couldn't stand to see Him suffer, hanging on that cross. Unfortunately, I had to put Him back though. My Mother, Joan, taught me to put everything back where I found it, and Jesus was no exception. Unwillingly, I would obediently return my Saviour to His suffering.
Of course and most thankfully, we all know that Jesus rose from the dead and is alive and well. The cross is a symbol of His sacrifice for us. He died so that we may live - and live abundantly. He suffered the sins of all of us, so that whomsover believes in Him will have eternal life. Talk about forgiveness.
That kind of thinking is what the real warfare is about. Thoughts that stir the heart into deeds despicable. Things we do to ourselves, our own families and children, our neighbors. It's as if we've learned nothing - but that's not the case. These things need to happen. Read the Book of Revelation. Jesus' time has not yet come. He will come for His church, His long-suffering church. He will come for those that He has called, that stand with Him and pray for peace, love and forgiveness. And what a mighty fine day this will be. I am waiting and waited still for this day.
I am a warrior for God and I have signed up for the long haul. I can not wait to see what my heart has yearned for these past 50 years. I am so very grateful for my life, this human experience, and all that I've learned. I am a divine child of the Most High Spirit that is God and I couldn't be happier with the who and what that I am and am still becomming.
Jesus, I am still so in love with you, let's go dancing in the light.