Saturday, April 30, 2011

My Life Has Meaning

It looks as if I'm becoming a seasonal blogger and that's not too cool.  I really want to spend more time here exploring and documenting the turns and twists in my life, but life gets busy right?  Season after emotional season.  Even though, not writing since February?  That's just not, I'll try to write more, okay?

Happy Spring!  It's just starting to look a little like Spring around Northern New Jersey.  While the rest of the country is experiencing the most tumultuous weather patterns, we're just recovering from some of the worst flooding this Garden State has ever seen.  Ask any old timer though, this is not new.  Weather has been doing this kind of damage and destruction since the beginning of time.  Still, with the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, the earthquakes in Haiti, Christ Church, New Zealand, and the tornadoes in the mid-west of the U.S. - it's a bit much.  What can you make of it?

But enough about the weather.  I'm just starting to feel like myself again.  I've been going through so many changes these past twelve or so months.  I think God is carving out a special place in my heart for only Spirit to inhabit.  There are so many emotions, thoughts, preconceived notions, and just plain things I thought I knew that frankly, I'm beginning to see, no one can ever know.  Life is mysterious.  Love is even more so it seems.

I'm beginning to think that my heart is called to love on a much bigger level than on a case by case basis.  Sure it's fine to be in relationships and have feelings for one another on a small, intimate scale.  Sometimes, life's most precious challenges are found therein, but I think my Spirit is driven toward the world at large.  I find myself thinking about all of the inhabitants on earth - all my brothers and sisters, and what they're facing, how they're coping, how they're living, and I'm compelled to pray for them, for us.  I'm compelled to hold humanity in prayer and light and send love and healing to them by virtue of intention, and Reiki, through prayer and meditation.  The more I do it, the more I'm driven to do it and it's a constant thought in my head and feeling in my heart.  I'm not sure if I'm putting it there or not.  It's always been there since as long as I can remember.

God definitely is calling me out of the more traditional relationships - or maybe I've just been too hurt by them to spend my energy on something that never comes back to me for the long haul.  I really want to be a part of something that produces fruit.  I want to produce fruit for God's Glory, you know?  I've tried to produce it for my own and it didn't work.  I'm pretty much done with that, at least for now.

Two nights ago, I gave a Reiki lecture at MSU that was really rewarding.  I was afforded the opportunity to speak to young, college minds studying world religion and hopefully some seeds were planted that God will water.  That being said, I just wish one of those students smiled at me while I walked the campus.  I was consciously walking through, on my way to University Hall to speak and while walking, passed many students who just seemed weighed down and disconnected.  This compels me, even more, to speak words of hope into their ears and maybe even their souls, so that they may 'live and prosper', for real.

I did tell them that too.  I told them that I wished just one of them smiled at me.  Turns out, many of them stayed behind after the lecture just to hug me.  They went far beyond what I had hoped was in their hearts.  

I'm so looking forward to the next phase in my life and I seem to find myself saying that a lot, but it's the truth.  For me, life is a world of learning experiences that lead you from one level or plateau, to another.  It's an upward, at times struggling climb that one takes on for the soul purpose of leading a well lived life.  Learning from experiences and becoming a better person, serving the world and community at large seems to be for me, the point of existence.  Helping.  Healing.  Loving.  Serving.  Supporting.  SHARING.  And the list goes on.