Life Springs Forth

While Spring may be 24 hours away, I can feel the seeds of newness, joy and miraculous possibilities springing forth inside of me. I no longer feel that blanket of doubt and fear. I believe I have truly come out the other side.

My beloved Cricket is amongst the stardust as I type. My two favorite guys in the whole world (truth be told there are a few more favs) are on the glorious mend and I am happy, delighted, relieved and not surprised, that I am cancer free.

This moment is full of potential and life and while life may still be challenging, and who doesn't love a good challenge, I am completely up for it. I feel like a newborn looking out of new eyes for the first time and all that I see is glorious. I can't quite explain it yet. There is something more going on inside. I am not who I used to be and I think I am heading for some major changes that will propel me into the being I have been sculpted to be. There are no coincidences. There is a master plan and I feel that I have just stepped into the magical steps that are my life.

All is well and as it should be. It always has been, but there is a certain clarity, fearlessness, appreciation, and love that I am only just now beginning to realize. These have always been inside of me but life acts as the watering can to induce growth in stagnant places. Once you turn toward the light, the light springs forth and waters, nurtures and more than grows. There is some serious growing going on....just in time for Spring.

I am truly grateful and happy to be alive. I know I have work to do, souls to heal, people to teach. Thanks be to God for I am truly on the path to fulfilling my life's purpose.

Funny Thing Evolution - It Really Changes You

While the person typing these words now, is the same as the person who typed the words that began this blog, oh so long ago, the person, me, I am in no way the same. 

Funny thing, evolution.  It really changes you :) hopefully, and consistently, for the better.

I really am a work -  in progress.

My soon to be ex-husband (there, I've said it), gave me a compliment recently with regard to my being able to change for the better, consistently.  I really appreciated that compliment.  It's one of my better qualities that I have worked hard to cultivate.  I say that in a humble and grateful way, and in no way arrogantly.

I appreciate the fact that many years ago, it was not in my level of consciousness to really modify my behavior, unless it suited 'me'.  Of course, once you embrace the divine and you allow Spirit to manifest in your life, that changes everything, and of course, this has been the course of my life.

I started out on a really rocky road, and perhaps the road is not pebble free at this point either, and narrow as it may be, it suits me.

I am contemplating my next tandem skydiving adventure.  I love the adrenaline rush.  Adrenaline is a friend of mine, if it's not too late in the day.  It works very much like caffeine in my body - it lasts, and last, and lasts.  I have a lot of respect for caffeine, adrenalin, and gravity, make no mistake, but I am looking for some radical experiences in this lifetime.  I am not passive in that way.  At least not anymore. 

Life, my beloved, is too short.

I've been, in the last year and a half through what feels like a death in my soul and I am only now emerging.  I was silent because my heart had no words.  I recoiled into myself, metamorphosis in the mind of the soul, to heal and process and become what I am to be.

More than likely a mystic, a shaman.  Karl Rahner was quoted as saying "The Christian of the future will be a mystic or he will not exist at all".  I can totally relate to that.

God has used my mistakes to soften my soul and widen my minds' eye in ways that even I probably cannot comprehend.  I am not the same.

Geez, my forties have been amazing.  Hard and soft.  Bitter and sweet.  Kinda like my thirties, my twenties, and my teens.  I really am smiling and laughing as I type these words because, what are my fifties going to be like?

Well, this much I've learned.

My fifties, which are not going to be around for a while ... I might add, are going to be exactly what I desire them to be.  I am called to pray, ask, believe.

I pray to God Almighty, creator of Heaven and Earth, of all that is seen and unseen.  God loves me with a jealous love.  He abides in me.

whoa

and you

if you are receptive

I am receptive to the love and presence of God.  I have a consistent desire to be filled to overflowing with the energy that is of God, which in my soul I know be love from a force of fierce protection, guidance and wisdom. 

He truly gives us the desires of our hearts. 

It's only a question of what we want, and if we can handle what we get as a result of our asking, believing and receiving.

I sit on the front end of a marriage that I would've died for, but couldn't save, as hard as I tried.  A marriage I vowed to honor, in the sight of God and friends and witnesses.  I asked God for this marriage, I prayed for it and it came, God gave our marriage to us.  We were together for fifteen years, married ten.  Would I consider it a failed marriage?  Perhaps, perhaps not.

Failed marriage is a tough pill to swallow.  It wasn't a complete failure.  Nothing is.  We are better people because of it.  Maybe we'll even be better friends.

Jimmy and I will always be deeply connected.  I love him and consider him to be part of my family in life.  Forever, husband or no husband.  It's all good.  My God works all things . . .

By the way, just to honor the Most High God, here are a few basic “God terms” that are commonly used within Hinduism:

Om–God as Divine Sound

Bhagavan–God as Supreme Personality,

Isha–God as Supreme Lord

Purusha–God as Supreme Man

Brahman–God as impersonal force or energy

Sat–Supreme Permanence

Cit–Supreme Consciousness

Ananda–Supreme Bliss

Satya–Supreme Truth

Mahesha–the Great Lord

Tat–That

Tattva–Absolute Truth

Eka–the One

Ahhhh there is power from On High people - can you hear me?

So, I pray for myself, as well as everyone else that unspeakable joy and love, peace, guidance and protection, good health, great relationships, abundance, friends and companions, family, freedom - all the things we basically have now, but even more, would be ours all the days of our lives.

and God, when, in your Grace you bestow upon us even more, help us to hold these gifts with tender care and help us to use them to return to you the great success that you have ordained.

I'm praying bigger this time.

I'd rather risk it all, then play it safe, especially if God is on my side.

Walking The Straight Path

Today is a great day. Indeed, I usually say that about most days, unless something terrible has happened and even then, I'm learning to see that that too is a great day. I feel really well. In fact, my wrist is doing things I haven't done in months and I am gratefully relieved.

I'm exercising, doing yoga and getting back to what I would consider normal and that is what I'm all about and today I felt the best I've felt in months. I know I'm starting to repeat myself, but I cannot over emphasize this seeing as how it took everything I had in me to get back to this place. Giving up was not an option and honestly, the hard work is paying off. It always does.

And my journey? It continues but on a much deeper and yet somehow lighter level. I wanted to get to the next level. I called this all into existence...this and some other things that I shall not mention. But let's just say be careful what you think about, what you wish for, what you call into existence because ultimately it will fall right in your lap and if you don't know what to do with it...you surely will find out and let's hope you're a fast learner.

I've been a fast learner and yes, lessons do repeat themselves if you don't learn them the first time. You see them coming from a mile away but it's too late. You're smack dab in the middle of it shaking your head wondering how you got there. But sanity speaks to the soul and says...you...you brought yourself here. It has always been that way and it always will be that way.

So....where do you want to go? Or, better question...where are you? Are you okay where you are or do you need to make some navigational changes about where you're heading?

Don't be afraid to make changes. You're supposed to.

Like...becoming more conscious about our choices and our decisions. Things don't just randomly happen to us. Typically. Sure, very occasionally a meteor will fall from the sky and hit someone's house, but other than that, we've created the lives we have. This is not random. And when I say 'the lives we have', I mean the way you feel about your life is entirely up to you. Many things are outside of your ability to manipulate them because there are other people involved, but for the most part, you can speak great joy and triumph into your circumstances with your beliefs alone.

If you believe something can get better, it can. It's that simple. On the other hand, if you believe that it cannot, well, that is also true...it cannot.

Which mindset would you rather embrace? For me personally, you already know. I will not settle for less.

It can always get better and with a lot of hard work, it can get best.

So, my arm is going to be completely whole. It already is, I just haven't crossed that day yet. It is in the not too distant future because I have called it into being and just as I am back to typing 90 wpm with very little effort, doing yoga and working towards a 90 degree angle in my wrist, this too shall pass.

That being said, I'm going to try to be a little more careful about what I'm calling into being. No more broken bones. No more hand surgery or any other surgery for that matter. I can appreciate pain, long-suffering, healing, patience, and a whole list of virtues now that perhaps I hadn't in the past. Please God, continue to make my path straight, straight into the Light of your will.

Was I still Running?

When my cast first came off, I was amazed at my immobility. At times I still am, but I'm also amazed at my progress. I've been going to physical therapy 3x's a week for this, my fifth week in a row, and I'm pleased with my efforts and my results.

The hand and arm exercises are pretty basic, lift, press, squeeze, separate, make a fist, stretch, all things your learned to do when you were a baby. It's not that you've forgotten how or that your hand has short term memory loss. On the contrary, your body has amazing memory but the stiffness that follows a broken bone is something you're probably never really prepared for, even if someone describes it to you. Here, let me try.

After your cast comes off, imagine someone taking hard plastic, heating it up and molding it to your arm (your dominant arm) in an awkward position. Then they put Velcro on it to make sure it's secure in keeping your arm immobile...kinda like a cast. You can't bend your wrist. You can't bend your elbow. Your fingers are useless. Your shoulder is feeling all of that restriction and is stressed and clicking. Oh and just for good measure, the sun has set on your day and the swelling has once again returned as it does every night. The plastic like cast on your arm is increasing in pressure and pain. Ok, I think you're ready now. Now, try and make a salad or feed yourself. Bathe yourself. Brush your teeth. Blow your nose and try to sleep comfortably...hahaha none of those things are possible - sure maybe some are if you use your other arm...but that's cheating. By now, you've already had to take a couple of anti-inflammatories and pain killers but by the time they kick in, your misery level reaches new lows.

Then in the morning, start off with a warm soak and then...start moving it. Against all instincts. Push. Pain. Push. Pain. Breathe. Stop. Ut-oh. This is hard. Bones have stiffened. They are resistant to change. They are resistant to movement. The ligaments are stiff and painful. The odds are not good if you're faint hearted. You must persevere if you want to ever use your arm again and what choice do you have? Or, do I have? I have only one. To continue running this race.

It's kinda like that every morning. You have to start from scratch and if I happen to not be going to Physical Therapy that day, well what then? Do I skip my exercises? Heaven forbid!

If I did not do my exercises 3 x's a day, everyday, my arm would be perfectly happy to stiffen up and cease working. Did you know that? You actually have to force your wrist to bend, your elbow to bend, your fingers to bend. They literally do not want to go. The inflammation and swelling and trauma prevents them from smoothly, efficiently and painlessly doing what they were made to do. You have to train them to do what they once did without your input - conscious input that is. When I go to reach for something now, it is with much deliberateness. Nothing or no action is too mundane as for me not to pay close attention to it. I have to. I can drop something, as I've already done countless times. I can trip and fall and God forbid, break my arm again. No, the time has come for proceeding with caution.

And I'm reminded of a recent incident that brought some light to the subject of impulsiveness, fearlessness, and lack of consciousness. I was in the store with my husband and we were browsing some electronic equipment. We stopped to speak with a Sales Manager and while my husband and he were speaking, I noticed some small children running past us. Nothing unusual about that. Except that, perhaps now, everything has such a deeper meaning that there is nothing usual...but everything is amazing.

I noticed that the children weren't just running to get somewhere. They were running to get every where. From here to there. From there to here. Up and down. Over and out. They never ceased running. I couldn't help but ask myself, 'was I still running'? I mean, I am FULL of energy just like those children. With a smile on my face, and with reckless (Websters def. of reckless; marked by lack of proper caution: careless of consequences) abandon, I would run until I couldn't run anymore or my lungs would give out, or it was time to go inside, or I got hurt....hmmmm.

Yeah, I got hurt sometimes and you know what? That slowed me down. Made me appreciate my physical abilities and lack thereof. Having asthma slowed me down. Having ear infections slowed me down. For the first year of my life I had braces on my legs since one leg was shorter than the other when I was born breach. I'm not sure, but that might've slowed me down.

I'm starting to notice a theme here.

Why slow down? Perhaps it's to control ourselves, our bursts of energy. Deliberately and consciously.

I was going as fast as the skateboard I stepped on in my mind on July 18th. I was not going slow. I was not paying attention. I was still running....here and there, up and back, down and out. The answer? I guess I'm still learning to appreciate every breath, every step, every minute of every day.

This particular struggle has taught me that, among so many other things. Life is a race and we should be in the running, but on a very deliberate, well thought out, well prepared-for course, as all good courses are. We need to know where we're going and how we're going to get there, preparing for and weighing consequences and proceeding with caution...kind of like setting goals, making them happen, and troubleshooting when necessary. You know, life lived with greater deliberateness, greater consciousness.

I realize that children run with such abandon because, at the end of their day, God willing, they're falling into the arms of Mom and Dad who take care of every need that they have. They will be fed, bathed, loved and tucked in at night so that they can rest in preparation for another days running. In the morning, they need only open their eyes and their needs are met. Breakfast, clean water, clean clothes, and a ride to school where they run and run, unless the teacher sees them and instructs"no running in the halls children, slow down"!

We're all born like that. We have boundless energy that mostly needs to be shared, contained, controlled, modified, managed, slowed down, expelled, utilized, understood, and in some cases it's so off the charts it has to be medicated. Meditation, contemplation, prayer, music, silence, sleep, daydreaming, night dreaming, Reiki, EFT, chakra balancing, dance, exercising, sex, being in nature, being around animals and plants, aromatherapy, hydrotherapy, chiropractic, massage, yoga, chi-gong, reflexology, acupressure, acupuncture...I'm sure there are more, but these are some ways to work with, release and re-charge energy in ways that are manageable, palpable and extremely useful. Will we ever understand energy fully? Perhaps, in the next dimension.

For now, energy in human beings is a phenomenal thing. If we only knew. . .

We, as physical beings having a spiritual experience, are the same. We're God's children running the race of life and hopefully resting in our creators arms and believing that our needs are met. Even when we stumble, fall and break ourselves a little bit, our Father/Mother is there to comfort us, to help us to absorb life's lessons and to nudge us on in Spirit.

This may have broken my arm, but it didn't break me. It may have broken my bone, but it didn't break my Spirit. It may have broken my stride, but it will not prevent me from finishing this race and yes, I may be trotting a little slower than the rest, but my finish will be no less rewarding.

My eyes and ears are open. My steps are steady. My mind is clear. I am living with greater deliberateness.

Today is Day 41

Ahhh, my blog...what i am to be....I've been ignoring you for another, please forgive me. I am back, albeit typing with one hand yet again.

Back to the way I was? No. I will never be back to the way I was before I broke my wrist. Everything has changed. I have changed. My arm is in a constant state of change and healing and swelling and inflammation and stiffness. My arm is also 100% healed. I've just not reached that day yet. This will be a long row to hoe. But I'm looking forward to it. I started physical therapy this week as the cast came off on Monday, 37 days after putting it on. It came off without incident and although my orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Ira Esformis, said "When I take the cast off you will have pain and you will beg me to put the cast back on", that was not the case.

Immediately after breaking my wrist, I applied three things; Reiki, my conscious-healing intention, and ice. I almost passed out before leaving for the hospital but managed to control my breathing by putting my head in between my legs. I went into shock a little bit but not as much as when the possibility of surgery came up. The on-call orthopedic surgeon declared to me after looking at my x-rays "we will set your arm, follow up with an orthopedic surgeon this week, you'll probably have to have surgery." This would also not be the case.

I have had enough surgery to last me a lifetime. I absolutely did not want to have pins and plates put into my wrist if I could help it. But at this point, what could I do?

I called my father. Whenever something major happens to me and I need serious help, I call my Dad. This was serious enough and apparently he thought so too and called a good Dr. friend who left his Saturday nite dinner plate to come set my arm in the nick of time!

A man appeared in the doorway smiling at me. He said "I'm Dr. Esformis". I was instantly relieved. The hospital staff kept stopping by and peeking in to see who got the Doctor in on a Saturday nite, and to see who was getting this favored treatment. Well, humbly, it was me and I was ever so thankful. Within two hours, my arm was set and I was back home safe and sound. BTW, Hackensack University is probably one of the finest medical institutions in the Garden State if not the country.

I thanked him repeatedly for leaving his dinner to tend to my bones and accidental absent-mindedness. Having to say that "...I stepped on a skateboard" was all too irresponsible for someone who claims to be living consciously. I was embarrased but Dr. Ira just laughed and said "Don't be ridiculous! It happens".

It does happen, mostly when we're not paying attention.

I explained to Dr. Ira that I am a Reiki Master Practitioner and I had been applying Reiki and also speaking against surgery in my heart and mind. Well, besides loving Reiki and wanting to come for one of my sessions, Dr. Ira and I agreed that my arm would be set and I would not need surgery. He agreed with my thinking...right there in the emergency room...he got what I was saying. I said "Until you tell me otherwise, I am speaking health over my wrist, and no complications. I will not need surgery. You'll see"!

What I didn't know is that most fractures are followed up in this country with surgery, and in some cases, unnecessary surgery due to the shameful financially driven medical industry. I was speaking against that ferocious, insatiable lion from the moment I walked in there.

After Novocaine was injected into my wrist and started to take effect, Dr. Ira began to set my arm. He wrapped gauze around my fingers and hung my arm counter balanced over an IV pole. Then he applied some weight to my bicep. Not much, just enough to give my wrist bones a little wiggle room. Then, he used his hands, applied some pressure and POP! It went back into place. It felt right, it sounded right and I was truly convinced, no surgery for me.

Back to x-ray, lo and behold, Dr. Ira, with a huge grin on his face exclaimed "so far, so good"! No surgery then and two weeks later after a follow up visit and another x-ray...no surgery. Although the bone collapsed slightly in the very beginning of the healing process, it stabilized and is healing very nicely, as bones can heal.

Did I have pain while in the cast? Absolutely! Luckily, Reiki energy goes right through casts and I applied it constantly and liberally. The pain became quite manageable and now, my arm is mostly sore as I gingerly begin my rehab.

Two weeks prior to the cast coming off, and immediately after Dr. Ira said I would have pain, I started to convince myself I would NOT have pain when the cast came off...and I didn't. At all. I'm sure that his comment was based on years of experience, but I am not your average human. I aspire to be better and to pay closer attention to the language we use when thinking about ourselves and our circumstances. I could've easily given into that line of thinking...surgery - check, pain - check, not getting full range of motion back - check. But hell no.

Why, if given a choice would I settle for negative, wreaking havoc kind of thinking when I alone have the power to continue to heal myself?

I am whole. I am healed. I am fully restored.

...oh, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that.
Who can stop me?

Carve Out Your Life

For me, life has always had lots of plateaus. Some pleasant, some not so much. I think now though that I'm ready for the next level whatever that may be. We've been at this level for some time now and have had some success. We've manifested change in our circumstances and we've been happy with the outcome.

It's time now to move on. Passion works like that. It's a stirring. A feeling that will not relent. Something that calls continually until you pay attention to it.

Jim's been working really hard at the shop and needs a vacation. I've been busy with my Reiki Master level working with clients and giving talks and lectures but I think it's time for more, something new, something radical.

We live in a sea of limitless potential and possibility, what will we create?

Well I know I'm going to pursue my Reiki Master Teacher level. It's only logical - not so radical, but necessary on my journey. I've come so far and the next step would be the last in my "official" certification and training. Then, I would be able to attune others to Reiki so that they can teach others and so on and so on....sounds like a sweet legacy and an official plan to me.

Jim has some major life changes to consider. We would love to move out of state and start a new business while broadening my Reiki practice. We know that we're just young enough to do something that everyone least expects but secretly hopes we'd do. It's time. Our hearts have been a little troubled but oh so grateful lately. We're praying and thanking God for His continual help. We praise Him for everything that we have, everything that He's given us. And then we stumble upon these waters while taking a little trip to clear our heads. Just look where we wound up . . .

John 7:38 NIV

38Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said,

streams of living water will flow from within him."

I want to see more of this. I want to continually cast my cares on the living waters that rush with such ferocity that I rest assured that they have been swept away and cleansed from the inside out. God is so awesome like that. He reminds us that He's right beside us. He reminds us that if we allow it, He will orchestrate our lives in such a way that there is absolutely no mistaking that He is the navigator.

I believe He places passions in our hearts to continually grow to the next level and give and learn and be. And I believe He takes away that which is no longer necessary in our lives effortlessly and surely, as surely as this water is flowing today, as surely as He is still the Living Water.

These waters were such an unexpected pleasure. We knew we were headed to the Newark watershed, the water supply for most of northern New Jersey but because the water table was so high from all the rain, this little waterfall turned into a monster with a message. A message about how to carve out your life with purpose and intention.

I speak all the time about Dr. Emoto and his work with water and how we need to be more mindful and appreciative. I thanked that water as it came crashing by us.

It was such a powerful moment and reward to just sit and watch and listen as it came from high up in the stream and cascaded down and carved out it's path whether the rocks approved or not. Sure the rocks held their ground and for the most part refused to move, but the water, over time moved those rocks in such a way that the rocks are almost unaware that their being moved.

Like our circumstances and trials in our lives, they are the mountains or rocks that I speak of...the mountains or rocks of stress and illness and dis ease or dis belief, dis content. The water is our faith. Our faith moves those rocks, moves those mountains and defies even the most stubborn of obstacles. We need to identify what we're placing our faith in and if it's God, we need harness the power of that faith.

Matthew 17:20 NIV
20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth,

if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain,

'Move from here to there' and it will move.

Nothing will be impossible for you."

Powerful huh?

These waters have been and still are carving their way through the mountains and rock, relentlessly. There is a whittling away, a re-shaping. We will go back at the end of the season and take new pictures to see how it's changed and to see how much the water has moved the rocks.

I think God would point out though, that we're the ones that move and we're the ones that change. I'm just sayin'.

What are you moving with faith today?

2 Peter 3:5 NIV
5But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word

the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water.

Quick Fast

When was the last time you fasted?

You know, stopped eating for a day or two to cleanse your body of toxins, to open your Spirit, to delve deeper down the rabbit hole?

Did you know ?

“A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors. I do not mean a restricted diet; I mean total abstinence from food for one or two days. I speak from experience; starvation has been my cold and fever doctor for 15 years, and has accomplished a cure in all instances”.

-Mark Twain

“To Lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. The best of all medicines is rest and fasting.”

-Benjamin Franklin.

"Fasting is an effective and safe method of detoxifying the body…A technique that wise men have used for centuries to heal the sick. Fast regularly and help the body heal itself and stay well. Give all of your organs a rest. Fasting can help reverse the aging process, and if we use it correctly we will live longer, happier lives.”

-James Balch M.D. Author of Prescription for Natural Healing

“Fasting is, without any doubt, the most effective biological method of treatment… it is the ‘operation without surgery’. . .it is a cure involving exudation, reattunement, redirection, loosening up and purified relaxation. While fasting, the patient improves her or his physical health and gains much. But he or she will have neglected the most important thing if the hunger for spiritual nourishment that manifests itself during fasting is not satisfied.”

-Otto Buchinger, Sr., M.D., Germany’s great, self-described “fasting therapist,”

“There are hundreds of journal articles in the medical literature documenting the value of fasting in improving the function of the entire body including brain” [cites studies].

-Joel Furhman M.D. Fasting and Eating for Health

“Fasting must be recognized as a fundamental and radical process that is older than any other mode of caring for the sick organism, for it is employed on the plane of instinct and has been employed since life was first introduced upon the earth. Fasting is nature’s own method of ridding the body of ‘diseased tissues,’ excess nutriment and accumulations of waste and toxins.”

-Herbert M. Shelton (DC, ND) The Science and Fine Art of Fasting

'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?' 'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. 'What do you say, Piglet?' 'I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. 'It's the same thing,' he said.”

A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

Those are a few quotes I received today from my Reiki Forum friends. A few of us are fasting today and using Reiki to ease the 'pain'.

So far, so good. I've juiced a few veggies and apples, had tons of water and green tea but nothing else.

Dinner is rapidly approaching and the munchy night hour, but I will not fail.

It is only one day - maybe two depending on how I feel in the morning.

I feel remarkably energetic and clear minded. I don't feel weak or angry or cranky.

And, to know me is to know - that I MUST EAT THREE MEALS A DAY - or watch out.

I get c r a n k y when I don't eat. Not today.

We decided two days ago to do this.

We joined our energy.

Focused our intention and now, we're more than past the half way point.

Yesterday, for a brief second, I heard random thoughts running through my head:

'you'll never be able to do it'

'you'll skip breakfast and have lunch and tell the Reiki Forum you just couldn't do it'

'you'll skip breakfast and lunch and maybe just eat dinner, that'll be fine. At least you fasted for two meals'

WTF?

How come yesterday's mind was talking me out of it and today's mind is all in?

Maybe because I noticed thoughts.

I noticed a thought pattern and shrugged at it and 'poof' it has no power over me.

They were just thoughts.

Not nearly as powerful as intention and focused energy.

Thoughts - can be brilliant and can be not so.

I'm choosing the brilliant ones and letting go of the not so.

Hmmmmmmm.

Get out of my way Me....I'm coming through, fasting.

In The Middle of Creation

Last night was a big night for me and my list of intentions.

I have been focusing on my path.

This is unlike any other path before it.

This one is deliberately created by me.

The other paths I think I sometimes just stumbled upon.

Not all of them, but most.

I learned a lot. I wish I could forget a lot.

But, then I wouldn't be me, would I?

No, the path that I'm on now is sublime.

I know I am a teacher, healer and blogging author - but I didn't know anyone else knew that.

I'm mean really?

My Grandmother used to say to me "Maria, you could sell sand to the Arabs!".

That's hysterical.

She was right.

Corporate Sales was awesome and fun. I managed multi-million dollar books of business.

I travelled all over the US and brought in more new customers than my counterparts.

It was easy for me.

Let me clarify. Selling was easy. Public speaking and presentations, easy.

Travelling away from my home - not so.

Sure I loved to fly. I loved to visit new places and explore. But not alone and I digress...

Once I believed in a product, I could sell it. People responded.

Well, indeed, I've always had the gift of gab.

I received a D in Conduct in First Grade. Just would not shut up and disrupted the whole class.

This was different.

Last night, I had the privilege and honor of speaking to two Montclair State University's Introductory to Religion classes about my passion - the healing modality of Reiki.


There were about 35 students in each class.

Only four students had ever heard of Reiki.

One said she had a Reiki treatment and didn't like it. Hmmm.

This was not selling sand to the Arabs.

This was important.

You can see Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki, behind and directly above me in this shot. How appropriate.

I'm sure most of these students have heard of lexipro, prozac, and paxil just to name a few.

I'm sure they've heard of antibiotics, and flu shots and drugs on the street.

And I could list probably a million more drugs that they might not know about yet, but if the pharmaceutical industry has it their way, these students will know about them, think they need them and be addicted to them before you can say 'heal yourself'.

But Reiki, they've not heard of Reiki.

My time has come. I taught them all I could.

The response was wonderful.

Lots of questions at the end. Hopefully, I answered all of them.

And a few angels that needed some extra special attention came up to me and we talked.

Yes, that's who I showed up for.

It was not about selling or pushing a product.

It was about connecting with people in their vulnerability, in their dis-ease and dis-comfort for themselves, or someone they love.

The selflessness struck me.

They shone like the sun/Son in that moment.

My eyes got all twinkly.

Namaste to the students at MSU for allowing me inside.

A loving thank you to my friend, my cousin, my sister, Professor Lisa Sargese who invited me to her home court at the lecture hall on the campus of MSU. Please visit her blog at http://www.theskinnyonline.blogspot.com/. She's witty and funny and beautiful and has a serious crush on comic Jimmy Norton that has reached new heights : )

And lastly, a sincere thank you to God who has freely given.

Those who have ears to hear . . .

Make It Happen

I am calm. I am at peace with myself and others. I have everything I need. I create my own destiny. I am creating it right now. I know exactly what I want and therefore, can manifest it in my life. I make it happen . . .

"Spirit is substance which forms itself according to your demands, and must have a pattern from which to work. A pan of dough is as willing to be formed into bread as biscuit. It makes as little difference to Spirit what we demand."
Frances Larimer Warner 1907

Peace

The Winds of Change

When change comes does it come unannounced, without a warning? Does it come with many subtle and not so subtle nuances? Does change happen or does it exist all the time fixed in its place in the universe waiting for us to recognize and utilize it?

Down to the molecular level things become magnified when you pay attention to them, so change could be the same way. When change is embraced, it could rise up and avail itself with limitless potential like a muscle you exercise that becomes stronger, more reliable and easier to use. Change becomes less mysterious and its’ capabilities become more believable.

Is change the closest relative to intention?

‘Think it, say it, do it’ is always in effect. We exercise this intention principle everyday. Why then are some days so different? We imagine and pine for a day when change would arrive on our doorstep. We dream of change. We lament and pray for change. But do we always exercise our ability to, well, just change? Is it something over there, outside ourselves living within our circumstances, or are we in control? Are we in denial? Is it both, simultaneously as works in progress?

I’m particularly fond of change for the betterment that surprises me. Someone going beyond the framework of what’s expected of them. Someone who was once so closed minded embracing new possibilities. A situation that at first seems so wrong, that turns out to be so right. Recognition in ones self to push beyond the self-imposed boundaries. Spiritual growth right before your very eyes within your very soul.

Today, I am embracing change, accepting change, and intending to make change happen. I am praying for the grace of God to be able to withstand those changes that I am not in control of and those that I do not see coming.