Inner Pearl

Here I sit trying to decide just how much of my inner pearl I want to share with you. Life, it seems, has thrown me another curve ball to deal with, this one having to do with more emotion than one person should have to handle.

Interesting since working with energy has so much to do with emotion. As soon as I became involved with Reiki, unresolved emotions from my past, fears and concerns about my future and the present unsettled moment kept coming into focus. The time to clean house had come whether I welcomed it or not. This was a good thing, though at the time, quite gut wrenching.

I dealt with all of it, so I thought.

The lessons I should've learned from some past similar experiences have come around full circle. Truly, what goes around comes around. Even if you try your hardest, sometimes somethings are coming for you and they're going to hit you squarely so take them when they come so as to avoid repeat fire.

I've taken this one squarely.

I'm still standing and I'm emotionally wounded, but I'm beginning to heal and move forward. It may look like I'm standing still, but if you look closely you will see that progress is being made.

What is the elephant in the room you ask? Well, I really don't want to get into specifics, but I will say that trust is something that I value, that and truth now more than ever.

I feel that I am a very trustworthy person. I have been known to say that I am a safe bet. Why? Because I know the value of the truth. It's priceless. When no one else will speak the truth - when the whole world has convinced itself that to lie is better than honesty - I will be there saying 'hell no'. I can't help it. I'm not even known to sugar coat. Personally, I think I've gotten better at it - telling the truth that is.

Perhaps when I was younger I needed to express 'my' truth - even at the expense of other people's feelings. I've since learned to be more sensitive than that. I was young and learning. Now, I'm seasoned and have had enough of life's experiences to know that the truth can set you free and really hurt - so be gentle with it - but, speak it at all costs.

Which brings me to trust.

One of my favorite things to tell my cat Cricket, a.k.a. Crispy Whispy, is that she is 'safe, loved and protected'. I tell her that because she clearly has anxiety at times from some kitten hood trauma she had experienced before I rescued her. I've had to convince her for the past ten years that she's safe. She's loved. She's protected. She's starting to trust me I think after all these years, but she still has a lot of anxiety. I've had to build a relationship of trust with her. I work really hard at it. My heart breaks for her since it's such a deep rooted emotion for her not to trust.

I can so relate to that. I've had my share of disappointments as it pertains to my relationships. I had to learn to trust again. Which I did. Until now. Again.

Now, I'm going inside where there's stillness, and quiet and clarity and remembering what Jesus said about humanity and that He knew what was in 'us'. I think He was speaking of the fact that sometimes people will let you down and take your trust and make you regret giving it away. Let's be clear. It is a risk - trusting. Where I come from anyway.

It is a risk but one that I am willing to take. I believe in myself and in the core values that make me who I am. I believe in faith, in trust, in truth, in love.

My eyes, however, are wide open. I've seen enough in my humble life to know that not everyone has your best interest at heart. Sometimes, you have to figure things out for yourself. Protect yourself. Make sure that you are loved, safe and protected, by yourself! I trust me. I am a sure and safe bet. I will not let me down.

That is a good place to start. Again.

House Guests

What is it about having house guests that makes us clean our houses more than usual?

Do we normally live such filthy lives that a complete overhaul is in order (no pun intended)?

Not only do I feel compelled to clean, but I've just painted the door AND the radiator in our guest bedroom.

I just hated the way they looked and needed them to be what I pictured them to be in my mind, before our guests arrived, of course.

Compulsive behavior over. I hope.

They are only coming for one night from out of town.

We're going to dinner and to see Steely Dan locally here in Montclair.

It should be a lot of fun. We're really looking forward to it.

I just hope I'm not too tired from all the cleaning up.

Quick Fast

When was the last time you fasted?

You know, stopped eating for a day or two to cleanse your body of toxins, to open your Spirit, to delve deeper down the rabbit hole?

Did you know ?

“A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors. I do not mean a restricted diet; I mean total abstinence from food for one or two days. I speak from experience; starvation has been my cold and fever doctor for 15 years, and has accomplished a cure in all instances”.

-Mark Twain

“To Lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. The best of all medicines is rest and fasting.”

-Benjamin Franklin.

"Fasting is an effective and safe method of detoxifying the body…A technique that wise men have used for centuries to heal the sick. Fast regularly and help the body heal itself and stay well. Give all of your organs a rest. Fasting can help reverse the aging process, and if we use it correctly we will live longer, happier lives.”

-James Balch M.D. Author of Prescription for Natural Healing

“Fasting is, without any doubt, the most effective biological method of treatment… it is the ‘operation without surgery’. . .it is a cure involving exudation, reattunement, redirection, loosening up and purified relaxation. While fasting, the patient improves her or his physical health and gains much. But he or she will have neglected the most important thing if the hunger for spiritual nourishment that manifests itself during fasting is not satisfied.”

-Otto Buchinger, Sr., M.D., Germany’s great, self-described “fasting therapist,”

“There are hundreds of journal articles in the medical literature documenting the value of fasting in improving the function of the entire body including brain” [cites studies].

-Joel Furhman M.D. Fasting and Eating for Health

“Fasting must be recognized as a fundamental and radical process that is older than any other mode of caring for the sick organism, for it is employed on the plane of instinct and has been employed since life was first introduced upon the earth. Fasting is nature’s own method of ridding the body of ‘diseased tissues,’ excess nutriment and accumulations of waste and toxins.”

-Herbert M. Shelton (DC, ND) The Science and Fine Art of Fasting

'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?' 'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. 'What do you say, Piglet?' 'I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. 'It's the same thing,' he said.”

A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

Those are a few quotes I received today from my Reiki Forum friends. A few of us are fasting today and using Reiki to ease the 'pain'.

So far, so good. I've juiced a few veggies and apples, had tons of water and green tea but nothing else.

Dinner is rapidly approaching and the munchy night hour, but I will not fail.

It is only one day - maybe two depending on how I feel in the morning.

I feel remarkably energetic and clear minded. I don't feel weak or angry or cranky.

And, to know me is to know - that I MUST EAT THREE MEALS A DAY - or watch out.

I get c r a n k y when I don't eat. Not today.

We decided two days ago to do this.

We joined our energy.

Focused our intention and now, we're more than past the half way point.

Yesterday, for a brief second, I heard random thoughts running through my head:

'you'll never be able to do it'

'you'll skip breakfast and have lunch and tell the Reiki Forum you just couldn't do it'

'you'll skip breakfast and lunch and maybe just eat dinner, that'll be fine. At least you fasted for two meals'

WTF?

How come yesterday's mind was talking me out of it and today's mind is all in?

Maybe because I noticed thoughts.

I noticed a thought pattern and shrugged at it and 'poof' it has no power over me.

They were just thoughts.

Not nearly as powerful as intention and focused energy.

Thoughts - can be brilliant and can be not so.

I'm choosing the brilliant ones and letting go of the not so.

Hmmmmmmm.

Get out of my way Me....I'm coming through, fasting.