Truth to the Soul of the Soul

Anger is to an erupting volcano as comfort is to a freshly made bed just waiting for the weight of your body after a long, hard day at work.  Anger is a storehouse of energy scattering out in all different directions at once.  It is unpredictable, unrelenting and unabashed.  There are almost no rules and pity reigns supreme for anyone who dares to defy it.  Even when our highest self, with clarity and foresight, speaks lightning fast wisdom, it too can get caught up in the fire storm being challenged by the heat.  Anger, very much like volcanic fire, is indiscriminate.  It is eager and quite content to go from this to that once sparks start to fly.   Beginning as a molten hot spark of discontent, its' greatness comes after time spent isolated and nurtured in careful contemplation, even meditation, ultimately to stoke and gain combustibility powers.  Ultimately anything that is in contrast to anger, everything and anything will be consumed.  It erupts, and long after the embers have cooled, it retains its' memory and is still very inflamed.

Most people say they have never meditated before but concentrating with focused precision on one thing repeatedly for an extended period of time is surely a form of meditation (and attachment), and since thoughts are energy, eventually thoughts will produce.  That thought will multiply.  Anger energy when allowed will expand and grow into other abilities and dark force powers.  It becomes a magnet to them.  Pride is one level up from anger believe it or not.   Desire and fear are lower and are never far behind.  Grief, apathy, guilt and shame are all closely related and lower vibrations still.  A cup of anger mixed with guilt and shame is a toxic elixir indeed.

But, why so much anger in our society, in our culture, in our world?  Why have we allowed ourselves to display this behavior, not only to others but to our own children and family?  Our own children reflect our behaviors back to us and we shake our heads trying to figure out why they behave that way.  We are all in such denial but thank God for families and closeness.  Contrast surely shows up in close quarters to help strengthen bonds.  When we focus on the lower energies, we may tend to judge one another and opt out of the relationship thinking less is more, but anger in one family translates to a lot of different types of manifestations, both passive and aggressive.   Avoidance is a tactic the ego uses to keep a lower energy in tact.  Look closely.  Perhaps this is your situation.  If so, surround yourself with light and know that the answers are right in front of you (in this blog :) and also within). 

Anger is a fire that today, our society stokes, media counts on, world government fuels, entertainment glorifies, correctional institutions ignore, and individuals justify.  This does not have to be.

On a national scale, there has been so much bombardment of the numbing agenda against the American people, we barely fight back anymore with authority, we just fight with each other.  When anger becomes a resource of power for influential avenues to manipulate, it becomes clear that the powers that be are counting on anger playing a major role in their contriving and self serving designs.  Anger keeps the politicians paid, ratings up, jails full, wars endless, weapons sold out, street and pharma drugs feeding soul crushing addictions, the hungry unfed, the homeless homeless, the poor poor, and the worst part is the rich richer.  

But, let’s not judge the anger community and it’s many partners.  That defeats the whole purpose of looking deeply into it.  There is light at the end of the anger tunnel.  You just have to keep digging beyond the illusion.

If anger were to enter into this discussion at this point it would no doubt be angry about everything we are looking into.  It would brood and fester and act out showing its contempt through various means potentially even physical violence.  The fear that anger demonstrates would become all to obvious.  If you could slow down and witness the anger energy objectively with compassion, you may see something you’ve never seen before.  If unable to slow down, the anger in you may resonate, rise up and match it.  You’ve seen it all before.  If you have any doubts just watch the old, antiquated ‘news’.  They seemingly keep unbiased track of who is on what side, how many wars have been fought, how many targets were hit, how much money was made, and who’s side you should be on.  They keep track of the anger tally always from the perspective of them, not us, and you just need to know who signs their checks to know why.  It is anything but unbiased, they know it, but do we?  And what of all this talk about anger and what if the angry person is you?

What is the foundation of our anger in the first place?  

Desire and disappointments that you've experienced are in the forefront of your mind and you hear yourself say to others, “You just don’t understand.”, 'You’ve never gone through it, so you don’t know."  You continue to allow the perfectly landscaped hedge of isolation to get stronger so your anger can fully mature into a reliable yet sometimes unpredictable and combustible firestorm.  Even when others suggest calmness or forgiveness as a quelling solution, the anger speaks up defiantly because forgiveness, while being a higher vibrating virtue, is perceived as weakness and since ego is in charge, it rarely chooses the path of least resistance.   It can not see past the illusion it has created for itself, “What could possibly be more important beyond me and how wronged I feel?”. 

As for calmness and forgiveness, the anger energy is just too big at this stage to tick down, but, and here's the beauty, it is absolutely doable, transmutable, healable, sealable.  It's true.  Just start with calm observation, breathing, slowing down, removing yourself when necessary to catch your power breath back.  If you are aware of your anger and you've begun to dismantle it, forgiveness will surely arrive as a fork in the road up ahead.  This is karmic, cosmic and circular as far as life lessons, choices and synchronicity's are concerned.  What goes around, comes back around so know you will get another chance, many chances in fact if you do not get it.  If you are truly unaware of your anger, don't worry.  Your highest self knows and will be bringing it up to your attention when you least expect it, like a solar flare, blistering hot.

Keep in mind, when anger energy hits a high note it has all of your irrational power.  It has the potential to take you out, to make you sick, to hurt others, to act in ways that are never in your best interest, and it is ugly.  If allowed to grow, you may find yourself on the other side of a nasty outburst that could have been prevented, should have been prevented, and will be prevented once you know how.

That’s where the heart and love comes in.  Yes, love.  

Sadly to some, love is cliche which just goes to show you the level of discontent that exists in some of us.  Ultimately, the hearts real job is to lovingly convince the mind that it’s okay to let go of the old stories and replace them with new, higher vibrating ones.  Only love can do that.  Only love can soothe the soul and smooth the ruffled feathers of ego and pride.  Only love can forgive trespasses.  Only a heart full of love for self first can give this gift.  The love in your heart wants to grow just like anger does.  We are used to allowing anger to grow, and we are used to displays of anger in all forms.  But, when it comes to love, unconditional love, we resist because we just don't know how, or why, we should love ourselves, give unconditionally, or accept love from others.  

How did this happen and are we teaching this to our children?

For me, my inner child ran the show for many, many years.  She was hurt and disappointed and immature.  She only knew a few ways to express herself and acting out was definitely one of them.  She, (I), shut down my heart years ago and allowed all the lower vibrating energies to take over, including anger.  I was proficient at all of them and truth be told, that knowing does not diminish with enlightenment, but it enabled me to transmute the anger into an energy that is sustainable, manageable and useable.  I chose to allow the anger to leave, and I chose to invite peace to take its place, and boy is it a journey of choice, calmness and forgiveness.  

When I realized how much pain I was in, how angry I was, and how disappointment was crippling me, I decided to stop in my tracks and take human, mental, emotional and spiritual stock of my states of being.  I realized that I am the creator of my life and I needed to see the complete design in my doing and creating, inventory was crucial.  I decided that I was worth the trek and the investment in uncoiling my inner child’s heart.  That led to the connection to my soul and highest self.  

Left to her own devices, my inner child was hell bent on making sure everyone knew the ‘in chains and bound’ stories that were collecting.  The accumulation of wrongs were unconsciously indexed, categorized, and all available in the library of remembrance.  Reality, after all, must be faced!  That's what most people think but that's just not the way it is.  Reality is created.  It's what you make of it.  Had I stayed in that state of despair, surely I would not be writing this blog or dreaming dreams of writing books and helping the masses.  I'd be keeping an altogether different log.

Luckily, my higher self had a better story.  My ever patient, ever teaching highest self, lovingly shined light on the inflection in my own voice, so much so that when I would hear my own stories, they just weren't as satisfying as they used to be.  I could hear my own bitterness.  I started to see the pain.  I asked to be healed and immediately the healing process began. 

Healing happens in layers as much as all at once.  The all at once part is typically a thought or feeling that usually starts a shimmering cascade of upward glimpses that lead to ultimate bliss and joy of the soul, but it is indeed a stepping stone journey that begins with complete and utter self awareness.  Truth, to the soul of the soul.  You must be honest and if you have trouble with that, sit alone in meditation.  Being alone and meditating raises your consciousness to a higher level which illuminates that which no longer serves you.  Meditation shines on all those things that stand in the way of true inner peace, be it people, places, behaviors, patterns, beliefs, associations, objects, addictions, etc.  Once you see your obstacles, you can start to create a plan of navigation using everything you experience, keeping the good and truly learning from it, applying what you've learned, and recycling and sharing your wisdom.  Nothing is cast out as useless, as refuse.  All is used for the good of all.   

That being said, be aware that whoever you yoke up with in this state may just be the same reflection of your original condition and not the step up that you were hoping for.    When it hurts too much to grow, we take ourselves out of the growing fields and place ourselves in the mourning fields with likeminded others where growth is much, much slower and can even be seen as stifled.   This growth typically produces dis-ease and illness in the body just as stagnant waters are unhealthy to drink, this state of being is unhealthy to true productivity.   But when hurt is planted in the truth fields, much fruit is harvested, much growth is had, and much change for the better is promised.  The future holds many flowering fields for healing hearts to flourish in truth.

So, bring your story into the light and tell your truth one last time.  Allow the light to cascade in and all around you, your hurt, your disappointment, your fragile heart.  Forgive again, yourself, others, people, places, things.  Forgive, ceremoniously, that which holds you back.  I assure you, if you are brave enough to look, you will see things that you can begin to forgive and release and then, you will see more, and as you gain strength, you will gain momentum.  You will say, "Anger and greed, NO MORE!"  

And, as you allow the new condition of your mind to take hold, it will compassionately and lovingly alert you to lower vibrations that challenge your peace.  Do not take the bait.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.  This is where you slow down and say, "No thank you, I appreciate the offer, but been there, done that.  I protect my peace now.  I am the peace now."

When we raise our spiritual and emotional currencies, and the peace in our minds matches the peace in our hearts, we will know strongly that this is just too valuable to waste on disappointment or anger.  It feels so much better and just feels so right to go with the flow.  We learn to let go of resistance and invite love and compassion in for ourselves and others, no matter what the situation.  We know that there are lessons here for all to rise up.  There is always so much more going on than meets the eye and at this stage, anger energy will be transmuted and utilized in the way that it was meant to be.  Energy to teach peace, love and tolerance.  Energy to be used to raise everyone up to a higher level of consciousness and community.  Energy to help those that cannot help themselves.  Energy to help the weak and the lost especially ourselves.  Energy to show the way to true justice and peace through the love, compassion and understanding of true human kindness.  It's time.

Keep searching.  Keep creating and reaching for the golden rays of peace, beauty and love, and don't be so hard on yourself.  We are all here to rise up together and learn together, what is important.  Peace, Love, Unity, Tolerance, Oneness, Kindness, Joy, Compassion, and Understanding....These are just some of the sustainable energies of the future.  These are just some.  Love yourself first.

Namaste, ~*~

Archive To Magic

So here you are stuck in your complacency, your guilt, your shame and you have absolutely no idea how you got here, or how to move yourself beyond this point. Your daily life consists of shaming yourself repeatedly and punishing yourself, consciously and unconsciously, deliberately, on time, like clockwork.  You feel lousy but deep down, you really want to feel better.  You do know one thing for sure, and you keep telling everyone that one thing, EVERYONE, over and over and over, and therein lies your freedom.  Did you see it?  Did you miss it?

What story are you telling?

The past leaves us with energetic impressions, feelings and emotions, all sorts of information, all sorts of stories that connect the past to the present in a very real and potentially harmful way, if perceived negatively.  What we chose to do with these stories is paramount to peace of mind, openness of heart, and health of body and Spirit (who is quietly directing the whole show).  That's on an individual level, but keep in mind individually we make up the global community, the global consciousness.  There is a much bigger picture here.  Individually, we effect the whole as much, or more, as the single human we perceive ourselves to be.

Thankfully, the Spirit wants what the Spirit wants, and what the Spirit wants is for you to be able to see yourself the way you really are, at this time, in all of your glory.

We are all works in progress but some of us are in such denial about our lives.  Everyone else can see what we cannot, will not, and chose not to.  In a flash, a reflection of light is shining on a very uncomfortable place inside, and the light gets blamed.  It's easier to point our fingers and blame instead of allowing the light to fall all around us, instead of standing (or kneeling) in the light and admitting we need help, that we don't have it all figured out, that we're far from perfect and we missed the mark.  We've all made  mistakes, we've lied, we've cheated, we've gone beyond the promised boundaries of civilized living, worse than that - some of us are in terrible pain, petrified, paralyzed, depressed, sick and getting sicker.  Dis-ease is forming.

That is a level of play that I know all too well, have traversed and I am now able to transmute.  You can transmute yours too.  You can choose to feel much better but first you need to believe you deserve it, you are forgivable, you are lovable, and that the best of your life hasn't even happened yet.  That is a shift in consciousness that comes from self love and value, and in my case, it took some time to grow.

I am from the streets of Jersey City from two pretty cool, pretty tough parents at a time when our world was shifting in civil consciousness.  I was born a year before JFK would be assassinated and five years before MLK and Bobby Kennedy Jr.,  would also be assassinated.  There were many wars being fought when I came in, breach with one leg shorter than the other.  Oh, I came in screaming, demanding attention, and showing the world my ass because I knew everything was upside down.

By the end, the 60's had become the decade of peace and love but you'd never have known it.  Here we are in 2016, and peace and love is surely my mantra and I believe it is quite evident in the life I live, the stories I tell and the energy I emit.  I have seen the turmoil and I choose love.  

What we wrestle with is not outside of us.  It is inside of us in our archive, in our stories, in our emotions, in our feelings, and in our actions.  It's all inside acting out on the stage of life.  We are the stars.  We are the leads, the entire cast, the orchestra, the set and props, wardrobe and makeup, the lights and the shadow, we are even the audience.  We bear witness to all things.

What is your testimony?

How will you describe the life you've been given when you are asked to give your account?

Do you believe that your account will be accurate?  Will your account reflect the truth?

When you wake up in the morning, do you grab your script, put on your costume and begin the scene  right from where you left off the night before?  Do you play a part in life, instead of living life.  If so, the part you play is small in that you only allow yourself to shine through partially and the parts you allow are not your best.  As a matter of fact, there are even more lower parts of you that are kept at bay and when the lights fade, and the stage darkens, those other energies usually like to come out.  They also like to ad lib in your perfectly scripted performance.  Some things when left to their own devices become too strong for us to manage, or ignore.

You finish your scene at the end of the day, go back to sleep resting up to repeat your performance tomorrow but there has been some editing because the energy is growing.  There are new scenes added that you are not aware of.  Tomorrow, all of those energies that you've pretended do not exist, they get to perform without your consent.  You will be tested and challenged to manage that which you have ignored.

The time has come.  Take control.  Admit your weaknesses and use your strengths to overcome.  This is not a joke, but it is a playable game and it has rules.  If you slow down enough, read and reread the signposts, you will see that peace and love are the main components to a happy life.  Search for these two things in your life and your stories will be sweeter, there will be many more happy endings.

The truth is there are trillions of storylines; yours, mine and ours.  But they are just stories.  They are pliable in that there are no real scripts (only those that are self imposed), and along with an illusion of entrapment in many of the the storylines we play out, there is no trap.  We can choose a different outcome even if the story has a real physical ending, like death, that leaves us raw, confused, grieving, hurting and often times so depressed.  The healing process surely will take us to the other side where gratitude, peace and love are just waiting to expand our hearts.  It's always a process of choosing to heal and doing the work.  Otherwise, we arrive somewhere, somehow, unbeknownst to us and then the real work begins, trying to find our way back from an even more hurtful place.

We are choosing all of this.

Look again with love this time.

There is a clearing out of the archives that is necessary for all of us to truly operate at a level of sheer, creative magic.  I get it now.  I didn't for a really long time.  When I was younger, I was completely tapped in, and then at twelve years old, human circumstances caused me to pinch off the best of myself, my creativity, my trust and my imagination.  I lived the majority of my life in at state of treading water.  I was in so much pain and denial and everyone knew it but me.  If you are also, everyone knows it but you.  We are the only ones that do not consciously.  We do know subconsciously though.  We know in our hearts.  Our pillows hold the salty tears of knowing.  God knows.  And, now it's time to look deeply into the eyes reflecting back in the mirror.  Gaze with love.  Gaze with forgiveness.  Gaze with compassion.

Give yourself a magical, blank slate in the morning.  Start with gratitude and a prayer, a blessing.  Ask God to give you clarity, compassion and strength to be authentic, full of integrity, humility and truth.  Ask God to show you why you are really here, to show you what you really are.  Ask your Highest Self to come closer.  Ask your heart to love again, and to forgive.  Imagine yourself living your best life, smiling, happy, surrounded by love and unity.  Soothe any contrary voice, emotion or feeling going back to the source and filling it with love.  Eventually it too will speak of only peace and love knowing this is the soul's journey.  Peace and love are surely the way.  Choose to be loving to yourself and peace will follow you all the days of your life.

I pray you see love and peace everywhere and in everything  I love you.  Namaste.

How Bad Do You Want It?

 

The past few months, I’ve been doing so much energy work, and the shifting that’s been taking place is pretty remarkable.  The side effects, if you will, to doing energy work is that it works to clear out stagnant energies in the body, it changes the patterns and conditioned thinking in the mind, heals the wounds and afflictions of the heart, and invigorates, empowers and grows the inner Spirit. 

The energy that we store shows up in many ways, most of which are quite unique, comparing one to another.  We could sit and chat and compare your pathways to mine and the results would be terrific.  The answer to the question, “how did we get here”? becomes really obvious.  We got here because we brought ourselves here.  No matter what the here and now has in our lives, we are the creators so we best be happy with the results.  (If you are not happy with the results, change them.)

To that end, I shifted and cleared out some old patterns and my biofield happily kicked up some sludge in the form of upper respiratory infections, one right after the other.  There was no coincidence that doing a clearing as it relates to chronic asthma led to these mucous producing episodes.  I am breathing better for it every day and I will continue to do the clearing until there are no more symptoms.  That’s right.  I do believe I can change the biology, chemistry, DNA in my body back to perfect health.  Of course we can.  And, no sooner do you embrace these concepts and then the miraculous shows itself.  All of the resources and techniques show up and if you apply them, you will not be disappointed as you clear, and lift, and rise and become one with the Cosmic Source of All That Is.  

So, how bad do YOU want it?  You define 'IT' in your life.  I think it’s pretty obvious, I want it pretty bad.  Anyone who knows me, and if you read this blog that I’ve written on and off since 2008, you know that I am all together passionate about Spirit and everything that relates to it  The point?  The point here is that I want it so badly, and everything in the Universe knows it.  And, I am (we are) loved so very much, that once you commit to truly being of the light, you will be tested.  TESTED!  Why?  Oh, well, if it wasn't special everyone would already have it.  Because it takes conscious, deliberate, intention filled demonstrations that you are sincere, able to discipline yourself, able to adjust, modify, yield, bend, sit, and be present.  All of that implies testing.  It implies that the heat will get turned up.  The light is brightest when the fire is the hottest.  That's why the Sincere Seekers will be tried and tested, just like all the Great Masters before us.  Even today, the majority of people still doubt.  The fire is not as bright as it could be.  

Why, when I decided after the respiratory infections cleared up to begin my yoga practice, was I tempted to quit?  I put on my yoga clothes, I put in my yoga DVD and when I went to use my remote control, nothing.  Hmmm.  I could not navigate the menu with the dead remote.  I could not navigate the menu with the DVD Player – no arrow to scroll and pressing play produced nothing.  So there I sat, ready to do yoga and there was an obstacle. 

Sometimes it doesn’t take much to take us off our higher course of navigation.  Something still lingers sometimes that is lazy and is not interested in doing the work.  That is really, in and of itself, the work.   Recognizing that life will always create flow and contrast for you to gauge where you’re really going, heading, and focusing because surely you will arrive at your destination.

I tried everything but it just was not going to happen.  I, of course, went and got new batteries and have been on my yoga schedule ever since, but looking back I see clearly that the Universe was asking “how bad do you want it, Maria”?, and I answered and will continue to answer, “I want it more than anything”.  Let’s see what I can do with that.

What do you want more than anything?  How bad do you want it?  What are you willing to let go of to get it?  How serious are you?  

Ask, and you truly shall receive.  Become more aware and you will see that everything is happening for you.

Namaste, love and joy always,

Maria ~*~

The Deep End to Enlightenment

I love metaphors.  I can chew on them all day and when you get right down to it, they're pretty darn accurate when it comes to descriptors of life and all it's complexity.  We oversimplify things, and we exaggerate, but sometimes a metaphor is like a lightning bolt ripping chords of illumination through the entire thinking process of our lives and we get 'ah ha' moments, as the avatar Oprah likes to say.   It is the ultimate equalizer.  

At any given moment in our life experience we can choose a metaphor to best describe the complexities of it so that others can have a deeper appreciation of what our unique sensory translation is at that time.  We all experience life differently.  Our unique brains and even more unique personal past experiences are deciphering our sensory input on an exponential level and, I believe with our transcendence into the 5D realm, we are able to compute on new, express levels, if you will.   But, we still speak pretty much the same language.  There are some new words and phrases, as with anything new, but at the end of the day, we get it, whether we admit it, or not.

Technology is not the only thing advancing on the planet, heaven forbid.  Technology is but a reflection of the advancement of the human that created it, and we have truly transcended, or so it would seem to a dedicated few in comparison to the whole of the world's population.  This is where 'the deep end' comes in.

In this new age of transcendence, holding onto that which no longer serves you is going to be a little bit more costly than usual.  Your spiritual, emotional, physical and mental currency will have to be utilized in this new dimension.  Those that choose to remain in their old patterned mindsets will have to pay dearly because when the Universe, and Mother Nature, and Universal Consciousness decided that NOW is the time to ascend to a higher level of thinking, living and being, and the human chooses to defy this, well, it has a reverberation that will show up much faster than before.  2016 is promising to be a year of great change, the likes of which we have never experienced here on Earth before, and if what I am saying is true, if you haven't already decided, you will continually be prompted, repeatedly called to make the necessary adjustments, as we are one and no one is excluded, even those that exclude themselves.

The downside to the status quo may show up as grave illness, strife, stress, or depression that drowns itself.  The good news is that if you choose to transcend, Spirit will never let you drown.  In an instant you can choose to become more than you've ever been.  It has always been your choice.  There comes a time in one's life when you have to choose.  You have to face a system of discontent that no longer serves the bigger picture.  You have to decide, firstly, whether or not you want to admit that there even is discontent, and if you get that far in your truth, you can go further to the root of the cause.  Once you get there, you can start to apply a loving, healing principle to transmute the discontentment into contentment, at the very least, or, ideally, a complete clearing back to creative energy.

But, most of us just 'throw out' (there is no 'out', btw) stuff in the deep end and hang out in the shallows. Who wants to do all that work?  Why can't we just be happy and not talk about those things?  Why can't we just say it's a new day and get on with it?  Well, of course we can.  And, the truth is, most of us do just that.  We ignore our truth.  We ignore others.  We play pretend, or worse, we're the real ugly deal.  But, when you live in the olympic size pool of life, you do not get to choose which depth you lead with.  You bring the whole energy pool.  You think you're swimming in pristine waters, you think you look amazing in your perfectly chosen suit of illusion, but water is transparent, and especially when it's not, everyone can see it. 

So, how can we clean up the water in the entire pool (ocean of life, our hearts and minds), not just the deep end where everything accumulates?  Always start with the densest stuff first.  If there's bacteria, debris, poison or toxicity, it has to go first, or, the entire pool will become infected, remain infected, cause infection, be infection (or dis-ease).  

For me, I didn't just store stuff in the deep end, I labeled stuff and had it all organized.  I had all my stories, reasons, justifications, understandings, because's, you name it.  Every single wave in the deep end of my life was weighed down, or tagged with something that even had an anchor to keep it in place, lest I forget to remind you.  You could wake me out of a sound sleep and ask me to cue up one of those waves and I could with clarity, emotion, charge and expression frozen in time, recount every experience without an ounce of clearing.  Completely exhausting, non-transcending, sickening really.  And, I did get sick, and even though my body healed from all of that holding on, my soul, my heart, my mind were still creating the same old program:  take all pain and sink it in the deep end and then avoid it at all costs, pretend it's not even there, maybe it will just go away.

I've had to learn how to swim all over again, many times.  I've had to find the instructors, study the lessons, apply what I had learned and enduring, excel at and pass quite the many exams.

Thankfully, I had a great swimming coach and program as a child.    The coach was patient and kind and the program was simple.  First, all the children were lovingly acquainted, then encouraged and acclimated with the shallow end of the pool and the cold water.  We were taught to be courageous and not intimidated, respectful, yet playful.  We were asked to sit down in a row on the pool's edge putting feet first in the water, where we were all taught to kick as one.  It was a lot of fun splashing around adults with freedom and no fear of consequence.   Once we got going, we never wanted to stop.  This was great.  If this was swimming, this was going to be a breeze.   It was light and exciting, and one of the easier lessons.

Then, the instructor upped the ante and we were asked to stand in a row putting our faces into the clear, cold water and blow bubbles.  He instructed us to turn our chins up and out to inhale, and then back down in the water to exhale blowing bubbles again.  Some struggled with this, and rightfully so.  They loved the blowing bubbles part, but the brain is wired to survive and submerging your face in the water without any prior reference point as to how to breathe life sustaining air except to GET IT  OUT, is a natural response until you learn to trust in some very effective breathing techniques that when applied, make the prior, very real panic and attention grabbing notions of getting out, or freaking out, unreasonable.  We all encouraged one another and laughed at ourselves.  Deep down, no one wanted to get out.  We all wanted to learn how to trust the instruction process, especially for beautiful, hot Summer days where you can cool off without a care in the world.

We were taught coordination putting arm strokes together with breathing while still standing in the shallows with the deep waters in clear sight.  And slowly, we were inched into eight feet of water where we were all lined up along the side of the pool holding on with both hands.  We extended our legs behind us and all began kicking as one machine.  No one could touch the bottom of the pool and when we realized this we all giggled with excitement because of what we had achieved.  

Then the day came when we asked to learn the meaning of perseverance while treading water in the deep end.  With only a swim stroke between us and the side of the pool, we were asked to float and tread water until they told us to stop.  At this point, endurance, sheer faith and determination ensues unless you never try that day.  I don't remember anyone quitting.  We all successfully learned to tread water and went on to the next level.

We practiced daily with exercises and the instructor was sure to let us have free swim and play time as well.  We played and practiced and once we mastered all levels, we were allowed to begin to put it all together.   How long can you hold your position without swimming just bobbing there kicking and flowing?

We all learned how to swim above and below the water, no matter what the depth.  We learned to do laps, and we eventually learned to do deep retrieval diving, as well as high board springing.  It was a most comprehensive and effective program to help anyone navigate any pool with gallons and gallons of clear, cold, refreshing water.  We were all asked to do the same as everyone else, but it was obvious that we were all at different levels.  It didn't matter.  The goal was the same for everyone and if it hadn't been for this program, we would have just continued to pretend (as children do) to know how to navigate the deep end, as well as playfully, cautiously and effectively avoiding it.

It didn't end there.  After the lessons of acquaintance and acclimation, love, courage, encouragement, respect, playful trust, coordination, perseverance, application techniques and practice, came the very public testing days where we were all gauged to determine where we were allowed to even be in the pool, at any given time.  That decision was not your own until you reached a certain level where the instructors didn't have to instruct anymore, but the lifeguards still had to maintain a presence and an overall observance of all happenings.

Everyone is watching everyone else.  It's the exciting and terrific day color coded bathings caps are given out clearly indicating who can swim where.  Everyone can see each others progress which we were asked to display.  Each had to humbly stand, practically naked in our swimsuits beside the seemingness endless amounts of water and each other, and follow the instructors prompts.  We each had to jump or dive in the above our head water at around 8 feet, swim across to the other side and back, go down in and retrieve a metal pipe lying on the bottom of the pool floor, jump or dive off the highest diving board, we were asked to do it all.  Some of us excelled as far as you can in the program and some were moderate to intermediate swimmers.   I suppose there may have been a quitter or two, but I was unaware of them from my vantage point.  It didn't matter.  We were all in the same pool together given the same opportunity.  There were shallows and deep waters.  There were fears and obstacles to overcome.  There were guides, counselors, teachers and lifeguards.  There were experienced and first time swimmers.  We were all there somewhere in the mix and, we were all one.

Can you imagine if the coach just threw us in the water without any instruction?  Surely after that, we would never attempt the deep end and maybe not even the pool at all.  Whatever was going on down at that end of the pool would just have to remain a mystery, but life is both the deep and the shallows.  It's the shady chairs and it's the sun deck.  It's the deep, rich tan and the palest skin.  It's the warmth of the sun and the cool of the water.  It's the smoothness of a babies cheek turned toward the sky, and it's an old woman's wrinkles as she lathers on sun screen.  It's the instructor and the student.  It's the life guard and the swimmer.  Life is both the sparkling pool waters in Summer, and sparkling ice crystals in Winter.  You would never deny one and only choose the other, well, you could try, but eventually balance wins.

And so, it's a new year.  If you've not cleaned out the deep end of your pool yet, you may want to just take a walk around and look at what's accumulating.  How does it feel to know that there's stuff down there?  How does it feel to know that you are in charge and you are allowing this in your life?  Can you truly feel free and clear knowing that you're running out of depth?  Can you still truly feel good?  Eventually, the water will have no room.   Eventually something will overcome.  Eventually, you may go to take a dip in your pool and find cement instead of what was once beautiful clean, clear, flowing water.  

Go to the deep end.  Try to learn to float again.  Can you freely tread water out in the deep, or does it become overwhelming?  Perhaps start by filtering out shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, stories, reasons, justifications, and because's.  Get to feeling at least neutral about the deep end, instead of avoidance.   As you continue, reach for courage, and these will follow:  clarity, willingness, acceptance, reason (not reasons), love, joy, peace and enlightenment.

Learning to swim is a lot like learning to ascend, or transcend a new realm.  There are teachers, teachings, techniques, and lessons, and effective programs to assist you in your renewing of your mind, spirit, soul.  Just go within.  

What keeps you out?

That's what it's all about.  It's simple really.  Connect to your heart.  Stay there for a long while.  Then engage your mind.  If the mind is conflicted in the light of the heart, just allow your mind to be renewed with the weightless life raft of true, real, transcending love.  Sprinkle the deep end with love buoys of forgiveness for self, and others.  Create unity in your family and your community.  Make it your life's work.  Be diligent and relentless in teaching yourself how to float and swim in the clear waters of transcendence taking all experiences and wringing them out into beautiful drops of wisdom and grace.

Like the bottomless boats that allow you to see all that transpires, be so translucent that when others see you, they just see the clear waters of your weightless soul, free, swimming and flowing with all that is, for the highest good of all.   

And, so it is.

Namaste and, go for a swim won't you?  

  

United We Stand

"This system will self destruct".  

"This system embodies the ego".

We Are From The Future - Next Stage:  Revolution of Love

I don't wonder as much as I'm challenged by some to reconsider my viewpoints, that perhaps I take things too far spiritually, and that my viewpoints are not realistic enough for the world we 'live' in.  I understand the confusion.  They think 'we' live in different neighborhoods, different worlds and different mindsets.  I get it.  There are plenty of 'differences' that create an illusion of separation, but I've never subscribed to that philosophy.  I've always had a deep sense and knowing that everything is connected, and that there has to be balance in this very chaotic world.  How else could humanity, nature, animals, and all living things have peace, love and harmony?  These things are basic universal rights for all beings in existence, not just a choice few. When things are out of balance, the chaos takes over as in our world today.  We're seeing that chaos mushrooming and reverberating through the whole system, all over the world.  The earth has never inhabited this many people, or this much money, or this much power, or this much corruption.  It's reaching epic proportions and it's becoming obviously more unstable.

For me, I stand firm, firm on the side of truth, peace, immense love, balance, kindness, humility, harmony, hugs, genuine smiling from happiness. . . where do you stand?

The time has long come for unity and common sense.  I pray as more things are revealed, more people will let go of fear and find their truthful voices, stand up and speak out with love, compassion and courage.  We can face the lying giants together, and we can renew our own minds if we've been playing the game too long, or if we've given into the illusion.  We're quite capable of anything once we find our passion, and life and living are just two primary things we should be very passionate about right about now.  

Do not let anyone steal your life, your love, your peace, or your joy. 

The revolution is upon us.  

Be the love.  Be the peace.  Be the change.  Be the light.

This is the good news ~*~

UPRISER

*  *  *

Ho'opono opono Healing Prayer

One of the most important yet misinterpreted virtues is that of humility.  Being humble in this day and age is misconstrued as weakness but that couldn't be farther from the truth.  It takes IMMENSE humility, courage and love to admit that we are sometimes less than we could be, worse than we should be, or too proud to be what we would be - if we were walking in humility.

To walk in humility is to put others first and ourselves last.  It doesn't seem to gel with the world in its current state or paradigm.  The current paradigm is all about greed and arrogance, and do unto others before they do unto you.  Just how much can we obtain for ourselves, even hoarding things or resources for our immediate or long-term survival, and actually live peacefully?  Well, we all know money can't buy love or happiness and we've seen enough wars to know that, right now, this is the mantra for many and for many, it is creating a void that is leading to some very interesting behavior.  How could money ever bring peace to the Spirit that lives within the human body?  It cannot.  Spirit has little use for these things unless we are giving them away to others less fortunate....then they become real spiritual gifts that return way more than they could ever give.  Humility gives.  Pride hoards and we've seen the damage this has done and it might just take another lifetime to undo and unlearn all that's been taught in the spirit of success, wealth, beauty and fame,  If any of those things had any real value the ones with the most of it wouldn't live in such fear of losing it all.  If those things had any real power the whole world would be cared for, elevated, and fed.   Just look at our nursing homes in the USA.  Get to a certain point in this paradigm and you are no longer useful for anything other than sitting in a chair with wheels staring out a window and a street sign that says One Way.  Oh, surely there is more than one way.  Question becomes, 'can we get out of our own way' long enough to contemplate the really profitable choices like humility?

While arrogance, greed and pride can come with what seems like power - it is fleeting.  Someone will always be stronger, hungrier, more prideful and so the competition goes.  Who has the power?  Who is losing it?  Who is gaining it?  And for what?  What is the purpose of all of this power?  Perhaps just like anger can lead a soul to peace, this kind of power can lead to giving if the human only look into the margin of the mirror.  The margin contains all that is stored up.  All of the things we don't want to look at are there behind us, beside us, in front and behind but as long as we stare at our own reflection we are distracted from the light that illuminates us - all of us, good, bad and ugly.  Take your gaze off of yourself.  Look at your brothers and sisters, our suffering earth and animals.  Look at your heart and how you have contributed to this destruction and if so inspired, make some changes.

For me, my personal inventory of what was in my margin led me to the wonderful Hawaiian Ho'opono opono healing prayer.  Thankfully, I had help in obtaining this spiritual guidance.  You must surround yourself with Spirit filled people...what you need comes.  Broaden your horizon.  You will find what you seek and I found it just in time.

We've all had magnificent pasts that have helped us, healed us and hurt us.  It's holding onto the hurt and disappointment that creates ill in the body, the mind, the spirit, and our world.  Bitterness, holding onto grudges, past offenses, not seeing people especially oneself as fallible, all lead to illusion, separation, confusion and God does not live there.  

New International Version - 1st Corinthians 14:33

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace--as in all the congregations of the Lord's people.

Humility can be a very hard concept for some and I think it should be a class in school throughout our entire tenure.  We should learn about Humility before anything else and as a magnificent side dish there should also be a class called Forgiveness.  We, as humans, need as much spiritual guidance as we can get to make clear the illusion of separateness.  We think we're better than some people.  We think we're smarter than some people.  We think so many thoughts that separate and feed the illusion, but when you prayerfully contemplate existence there is an overwhelming love and peace that prevails inside that the outside just doesn't match up to.  It's contrary.  You deeply FEEL the truth that love is the bottom line not greed, success or wealth.  Real connectedness is profoundly humbling.  It's beautiful to contemplate.  But, there are still those that hold on so tightly to what they've obtained that surely they will lose their grip or their grip will be loosened for them.  This is not the way.  This is not the truth of real peace and tranquility.   If it were, I would know.  I would totally be all in as I am with Spirit.  I've seen fame, fortune and success.  It is not the way, in my humble opinion.  And while I am not famous I am wealthy in Spirit and consider that a great success.  You define it for yourself.   I'd be really honest if I were you.  Take a good look in the margins.  What do you live for?   Who do you live for?

I live for God.  Period.  I aspire to please God, not men.  I aspire to reach the heights of a virtuous life.  I want my companions to be of the light, Godly, inspired, fast to forgive, quick to love, quick to share.  I want to help everyone reach the heights of pure love, pure compassion, pure joy.  It is possible to reach this exquisite paradigm in your heart.  I have and I strive to stay there every single day and trust me, with this type of statement, the tests and trials come.  Oh boy, do they come and that's why this prayer came to me.  Just in time, not a second too soon.  If it had come to me sooner, I might have disregarded it.  I wasn't ready.  Are you?

It takes a truly humble heart to pray this amazing prayer.  I could not just describe this prayer without first setting the foundation as to why we should be humble to begin with.  Perhaps you've been persuaded by the illusion?  Perhaps you are wreaking havoc in your own life as you struggle with the anxious feelings of not having enough friends, love, money, power, fame, or even time left?  That's a wrestling match we will always lose.  When you place your trust outside of yourself how will you ever be satiated?  Who has ever been truly satisfied with what the world offers?  The world is at odds with the Spirit on so many levels yet when you tap into Spirit you are given eyes to see the world as it really is and you start to tread much lighter on her, on others, on yourself.  You can no longer dwell in self service you can only rise to serve others, and one of the first ways is humility which leads to forgiveness.  How do I know?  Because I am so very human seeking super spiritual power.  Humility and forgiveness are indeed supernatural, super powerful, super Spiritual.  It's when you finally settle into searching your heart that this prayer becomes one of the most powerful healing resources you'll ever come across.  Are you ready to forgive yourself?

Ego may answer that question with 'what have I done'?  'What do I have to be sorry for'?  That is not Spirit.  That is ego.  Your highest self knows emphatically that you are a fallible human being and you have some stuff in the margins.  Only a fool would think their hands are clean.  Everyday, in every way, we offend ourselves and others.  Every single day.  I pity the fool who thinks otherwise and I also pity the fool who thinks this is a waste of time.  This is the most profitable way to spend your human lifetime because it leads to virtues that indeed, the soul takes with it when it leaves this school of life and this body.  What will be in your soul when you leave this planet?  If you don't like what you see perhaps this prayer is for you, as it is for me.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.

As defined in the Hawaiian Dictionary through Wikipedia:

Literally, hoʻo is a particle used to make an actualizing verb from the following noun, as would "to" before a noun in English. Here, it creates a verb from the noun pono, which is defined as

...goodness, uprightness, morality, moral qualities, correct or proper procedure, excellence, well-being, prosperity, welfare, benefit, true condition or nature, duty; moral, fitting, proper, righteous, right, upright, just, virtuous, fair, beneficial, successful, in perfect order, accurate, correct, eased, relieved; should, ought, must, necessary.

Ponopono is defined as "to put to rights; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat".

That's it.  Simple yet profoundly difficult for some.  It was difficult for me for quite a while until I understood that peace lives inside of me, not outside in the approval of others and anything that I'm holding onto is preventing me from moving forward with grace, love and tenderness.  While I want everyone to love me, not everyone does, and that's okay but it's not okay for me not to love me, or them.  I was so self destructive for so long believing that I was unlovable, unworthy, and just not good enough because of a few people in my life who just did not have anything of true value to give to me.  I held onto this need thinking that this is the way it is, we obtain this esteem from others but that is not the case.  I have all the self esteem in the world now and it depends on a much higher source of inspiration, One that never let's me down, ever.  God's grace is sufficient for me but I wouldn't mind a few more super spiritual humans in my life.  Perhaps offering this prayer out into the ether will bring them closer to me.  I am ever hopeful.

Your energy is felt long before your words are spoken and grateful is the heart that hears the words the heart needs to hear.  Perhaps your heart needs to hear these words today from yourself, or from someone else.  Start with yourself as I did.  Forgive yourself for all of it.  ALL OF IT.  Then you will begin to see the bridge that gaps the divide of the illusion of separation.  Then, you can forgive others effortlessly and easily and the proof will be in the fruit you produce.  You cannot harvest hate and love at the same time.  The immediate harvest of love is the grace that flows through a forgiving heart.  Humility melts the hardest heart.  It melted mine and it will melt yours as well.

There is real healing power in this prayer, and in the heart of the human whose focused intention is to forgive self and others through immense humility.  It becomes increasingly more difficult to perpetuate what you once thought of as profitable.  Once you've crossed this threshold, what once deeply offended you becomes much easier to rise above and transmute into love.  Once you've prayed this prayer to yourself, you learn to pray it to everyone and then, you can navigate your way to true peace and tranquility.  The last leg of this journey is honoring all the virtues that you may have offended;  Peace, Consciousness, Gratitude, Unity, Kindness, Holiness, Harmony, Compassion, Healing, just to name a few.

Imagine forgiving yourself for all and starting fresh.  Imagine forgiving everyone for everything and erasing your memory of these offenses.  Doesn't that sound amazing?  It is.

Imagine being the peace.  Imagine being the love.  Imagine being the harmony.  All of these virtues, and many more will fill your spiritual bag of resources and you become a brighter light that beckons peace, love and harmony.  You couldn't prevent peace if you wanted to.  You just are the peace through love and humility and peace begets peace.

This is the way. ~*~

Namaste,
Reiki Master Ree

Releasing the Shadows

Guest Teaching 

Intro to Reiki 

Bergen Community College 

2009

                                             

Now that we have covered what meditation is and how to start to be the stillness the next step is to think about techniques to free the mind of all that clutter, be it mild, medium or very strong clutter.  In the beginning of my journey all I had was this unquenchable passion, this magnetic pull and every time I would try to get closer to the source of this pulling I would be confronted with all kinds of obstacles from rouge thoughts to full on stories of a painful trauma or situation that I had endured or survived.  The rouge thoughts were easily navigated around or dismissed entirely.  The painful memories and the dense emotion that would come to the surface, well that was another thing entirely.  Why was all of this coming to the forefront of my quiet time?  I am trying to meditate over here. 

For me, in order to fill this vessel with light it had to be emptied of all the shadows, shadows being my past disappointments, offenses, attacks of all kinds, jealousy, bitterness, envy, things I held against myself as well as others, maybe even God.  It’s when we get in the silence all these lists come to the surface.  Why is there a list and what is this list doing to us?  Can’t we keep the list and just focus on the light?  Yes.  We keep the list while focusing on the light but just as light reflects off a shard of glass, the light inside of us will reflect onto and off of anything that needs to be addressed, released, and transmuted into the positive including this list.

For example, you and a friend have had some cross words and there’s an event coming up soon that you will both be attending.  It’s awkward and there is friction between you and you may think that as long as you’re not in the same room together all is well but that’s not entirely the case.  The thoughts and emotions created by this illusion of separation bring real roots with it.  This could be an opportunity to transmute friction by making amends, having another conversation with humility, forgiveness, whatever the case may be.  Making no decision is a decision so if you decide not to address the situation and just attend the event, bringing these shadows with you, you run the risk of adding onto what was already a stressful situation.  This can become compounded now because of the allowance of friction.  I realize we cannot control anyone, only ourselves so perhaps clearing the slate prior to the event is the only path to peace.  You decide to be the peace.  You decide to forgive and keep no record of wrong despite the fact that it hurt, you felt slighted, you felt wronged.  Jesus said in Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”  ‘They’ are you and me.  We need more forgiveness for self and others.  We need to realize we are all connected doing the very best we can do with the information we have.  Forgiveness is underrated and holding onto grudges leads to all sorts of sticky, dense, and toxic energy in the human body and causes internal and external wars potentially but it doesn't have to.  Keeping a record of wrongs, well that’s just a trigger mechanism to relive and reanimate for whoever will listen to the wrongs that our poor souls have endured.

But you are not a poor soul.  You are a very strong and capable being whose soul purpose is to bring about peace on this planet at this time.  If we release these toxic shadows and transmute them into the light, our meditation experience will be sublime.

How do you release these shadows? 

Firstly, be brutally honest with yourself.  Become aware of the feelings and emotions that accompany thoughts that pull you out of center, out of the present moment into the past.  What happened?  Becoming aware of these obstacles is the first step.  Keeping a journal is the second.  All of my mentors have taught me to journal.  Every one of them stating the importance of taking these thoughts, emotions, memories and writing and them down, getting them out so to speak.  Like a vortex of energy they swirl inside the brain and heart creating all sorts of distractions.  Once the brain is allowed to relive and replay the emotions are sure to follow.  Once you engage in a shadow thought and the emotion starts it may seem like there is no end to your suffering and you are quite right.  If you allow your mind to relive and replay and you allow your emotions to live on the inside of you like a jack in the box just waiting for the right trigger to pop out, scare you and other people, you are not living anywhere near center, near conscious living, you are living on play, rewind, repeat. 

Write it down.  Whatever is swirling around you on the inside put it on paper.  Notice the emotion, if any, the tears, the effect this thought has on your entire being.  It’s no wonder you were having trouble focusing on stillness when this troublesome thought lives like a weed on the inside whose only purpose is to choke the life out of you and with no one cutting it back, eradicating it, or even trying to until now, it has had free reign.   Every morning when you wake up write in your journal.  Write your cares, your fears, your joys, your doubts, your worries, write everything down that is in your brain when you wake up.  This takes some of the sting out of the thought.  This releases some of the emotion associated with the thought.  Are you done now that you’ve written it down?  No, not entirely.    You may notice that this same thought is upon you every morning.  It’s the same thought or problem or hurt and it’s nagging at you.  You’ve already written it down.  Why won’t it go away?

Journaling is a very powerful tool in emptying the mind of the human but sometimes it’s just one of many spiritual tools that one needs and has access to.  Depending on the thoughts or emotions, a person may need to delve deeper to get to the root causes in order to release.  Prayerfully journaling and prayerfully meditating work in tandem with Spirit to miraculously heal and diffuse negative energies that live inside.  You will know when you are free from these thoughts because there will be a lightness about you that was there all the time, but you were not aware of it.  Once we peel back the layers of thoughts and emotions we can tap into the true source of our true infinite nature where shadows do not exist and if they do exist, they do so to test and refine.  What we are dealing with now is our own creation and its purpose is quite the same.    Do not resist the lesson or the path.  It’s the same for all of us.

Affirmations, self talk, positive thinking and deliberate thoughts that empower us to continue on our journey when releasing shadows are extremely important.   They are important all the time.  I liken it to keeping a weight in your hand to constantly flex the muscles in your arm.  Deliberate thoughts train the mind to strengthen itself with positive fuel as opposed to negative toxic fuel which makes us sick.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  What goes in must come out.  Positive goes in, positive comes out.  Negative goes in, negative comes out.  We have the capacity to lift up the vibration of the world with our delightfully positive outlook on life and we have the power to pull down the vibration of the world with our toxic, worrisome and negative outlook, but it actually takes more effort to frown than smile.  That’s because you’re true nature is that of peace, dare I say love. 

Once you release thoughts and emotions that no longer serve you, you make room for thoughts that have a much higher purpose, vibration and in fact are much higher;  thoughts about world peace and unity and healing and joy, thoughts about feeding the world and advocating for all living things and our planet.  Our minds and our souls are on this planet for a much higher purpose than just ourselves but it absolutely begins with each and every one of us.  When we take responsibility for the state of our being, the state of our consciousness, we can then take the proper steps to join in with the universal, if not just global oneness thought process that includes and never excludes, that tolerates and respects, edifies and supports, loves and has compassion for the entire human spirit not just the few highly favored. 

Meditation is the tool if you want to get to the bottom of who you are.  Journaling and praying keep you humble, accountable and somewhat scientific in your approach utilizing all the spiritual resources available to you and taking very complex principles and breaking them down into palatable, useable, techniques.  You will turn to your journal over and over.  You will see the Hand of God at work in your life.  You will see the scales fall off of your eyes right before your writing fingertips.  You will lament and purge and stain your journal with sorrowful, salt filled tears.  You will turn the page and see and feel those tears transmuted into the platinum healing light of God.  You will never be the same.

What if it all gets to be too much to bear?  Hang in there.  Prepare a spiritual space for yourself that you can return to with a feeling of being cared for.  You are taking yourself on your life path journey.  Make it okay.  It is okay.  Everything will be okay, no matter what.  Affirm this to yourself.  Create a vision board of you meditating and being free.  Remind yourself over and over that this is your time.  Use some incense, candles, essential oils and hemi-sync brain wave meditation music, go for a walk in the park.  Stay grounded.  Stay the course.  Keep your inner eye focused on the prize:  Peace.  Stillness.  Joy.  Refuse to be distracted. 

As you further along on this path you will become lighter, more joyful, more grounded.  You will not be so fully persuaded to react to life’s circumstances, pushing and pulling as you had in the past.  There will be space in between your thoughts.  You will react less and thoughtfully respond more.  You will have raised your inner frequency and outer energy.  People may notice.  New challenges may present themselves.  Observe them from a safe distance.  Notice they don’t have the same allure they once had.  Notice you may not want to play the way you played in the past.  Listen to your newly honed intuition.  Pray about everything.  Journal your every thought.  Meditate every day.  Keep on the path. 

Your mind cannot comprehend what is waiting for you in the stillness.  Trust that the light is pure and illuminating.