What I am to be I'm not sure of. What I am right now is recovering from an acute asthmatic attack that has gripped my soul. I feel as if I'm not living my authentic life.
How could I possibly if such sickness is manifesting in my body?
Am I overreacting to disappointment? Am I just physically sick?
No. I don't believe that.
I know that I can trace back this attack.
I know when it started.
I know when it got so severe that it almost choked me to death. I know that I almost allowed that to happen.
My Dr. told me to go to the ER and I didn't listen. I suffered one more day and night and then I went. I received 8 bronchial treatments and was sent home only to have another attack.
I went on to see two more Dr's (one a pulminologist) and finally I'm getting relief today (steroids, antibiotics, xanax for anxiety). This saga began on New Year's Day.
Why? For what?
I know I was waiting for an emotional rescue that didn't come.
You know, we can only save ourselves from ourselves. Nothing else matters.
I pray that God will continue to give me strength to see through the dense fog and that I would be brave enough to choose to see clearly.
You know what I mean?
Today I have some breath in my lungs and for that I'm grateful. I have more medicine in me than I can ever remember having.
My heart is heavy for other reasons as well, namely my Mom having to have another heart procedure to replace her stent put in only 10 months ago. That was today. She's recovering alone in the hospital. I was unable to be by her side because of this illness. That's unacceptable to me. I've got to make some changes.
On a really positive note, Cousin Lisa has invited me to a few more Universities to give Reiki lectures. So there is light. There is hope. There is a future for me in the light. I am drawn to it and I am running like my feet are on fire.
This is a short life. I must live it, not only for myself but for all of you that support me. Keep me in your prayers as you are all in mine.
Blessings, Light & Namaste
How could I possibly if such sickness is manifesting in my body?
Am I overreacting to disappointment? Am I just physically sick?
No. I don't believe that.
I know that I can trace back this attack.
I know when it started.
I know when it got so severe that it almost choked me to death. I know that I almost allowed that to happen.
My Dr. told me to go to the ER and I didn't listen. I suffered one more day and night and then I went. I received 8 bronchial treatments and was sent home only to have another attack.
I went on to see two more Dr's (one a pulminologist) and finally I'm getting relief today (steroids, antibiotics, xanax for anxiety). This saga began on New Year's Day.
Why? For what?
I know I was waiting for an emotional rescue that didn't come.
You know, we can only save ourselves from ourselves. Nothing else matters.
I pray that God will continue to give me strength to see through the dense fog and that I would be brave enough to choose to see clearly.
You know what I mean?
Today I have some breath in my lungs and for that I'm grateful. I have more medicine in me than I can ever remember having.
My heart is heavy for other reasons as well, namely my Mom having to have another heart procedure to replace her stent put in only 10 months ago. That was today. She's recovering alone in the hospital. I was unable to be by her side because of this illness. That's unacceptable to me. I've got to make some changes.
On a really positive note, Cousin Lisa has invited me to a few more Universities to give Reiki lectures. So there is light. There is hope. There is a future for me in the light. I am drawn to it and I am running like my feet are on fire.
This is a short life. I must live it, not only for myself but for all of you that support me. Keep me in your prayers as you are all in mine.
Blessings, Light & Namaste
