Beautification in Progress

Transforming this office space into Reiki space has been a labor of love.

It was relatively easy once I made up my mind and of course, Jimmy helped me every step of the way. Thank you my love.

The old desk? It is a great desk...but I'm done with it. It served me well, and out it went. We transported it to Mom's house. Recycling it was the only option.

Bye-bye.



It's amazing what we get used to when we don't apply ourselves.

It's amazing what we call comfortable.

Imagine what a little bit of love,

intention,

determination can do

to change our situations

or the spaces we live in

or the lives of others.

Clean up the clutter and make room for space.




Perspective is everything.

It can be healing or toxic.

It can be fluid or blocked.

It's always our choice.

What we choose to look at every day affects us.

What we surround ourselves with every day affects us.

What we hold onto especially affects us.

What we believe affects us.

What we think about affects us.

What we believe/think about we become.

What we let go of, sets us free.



That was the old me.

This is the new me (Mojo's peeking).


Rosie checking it out.
Much better don't you think?

My prayer is that the Holiest of Spirits would find refuge in this space and bring

peace,

light,

energy,

love,

and healing

to me, my home, my family, my friends and the world.

I still need a few more things, the furniture is not exactly as I want it to be.

Big improvement, no?

Before and (not quite yet) After . . .

My office has been a sore spot to me for while.

Since leaving corporate America a few years ago, this office has been in a state of static limbo. Sure I use it to read, write bills and make a huge mess when I've no where else to put stuff and Cricket uses it for her room (see her little bed under the desk?)...but those days are over.

The time has come to put my past behind me and forge ahead into my future.

Above is what my office looked like after only some dismantling....

Too much stuff.
Even my bookcase is maxed out.

SOOOOOO.....out with the old.

And as promised, the Universe provides the first of It's many gifts in response to my efforts...underneath it all - just waiting to be revealed...a beautiful hard wood floor.

A great canvas huh?Today I will finish painting which I started a few days ago.

A nasty cold kept me from finishing it.

My finger? It's so much better, not perfect, but it's coming along nicely.

So, here begins my new creation in this dimension...my Reiki Room space which will be dedicated to holistic healing.

I couldn't be happier.

Chuck and Peppermint Patty Forever

Chuck and I took our annual, fall drive upstate on Saturday to get pumpkins, apples, cider, mums and pies. We go to the most sincere pumpkin patch...remember Charlie Brown? So sweet and I don't exactly remember when in the last thirteen years, but we started to call each other Chuck & Peppermint Patty. Btw, if you didn't know it already I'm Patty, freckles and all.

It was a gorgeous day. Unseasonably warm and sunny. The children were all so happy and giggling and running around. I'm pretty sure that Halloween and Christmas are pretty close competitors for the best times in a child's life - well mine anyway. I loved these holidays the best. Lately though, I'm leaning toward Halloween being the best. Christmas is not the same anymore. Just like our government - but that's a WHOLE 'nother story. : )

Then we went through the corn maze (no, not another government reference)...I've never done that before. Kinda scary and fun all at the same time. I definitely wouldn't run through there at night though. Wayyyy too chicken.

After all that fun, we worked up a serious appetite and went for a couple of steaks. Overall a really great day. Then home for, you guessed it, PIES!

This is Chuck sucking on some Halloween candy,

leading the way - to a - dead end??? : ) Yeah.

That happened a lot in the maze - but - typically

it takes between 8 and 20 minutes to get through-

we did it in 7 - so there!

Franken Buddha

I LOOOVEEE THIS PICTURE

...and I love Halloween and Halloween candy, and the costumes, and the pumpkins, and the decorations and especially the kids that come to ring the bell. They get bigger and bigger every year. You see how as young boys grow up, they get to that awkward stage and they can't stand to be in there own skin let alone a costume. You see them coming a mile away with just a little black mask, dragging their feet to your porch with a pillow case to collect candy. They're hysterical.

Not as funny as the little princess I had a couple of years ago. I heard her coming before I saw her. She was all of 5 years old, 3 feet tall with gorgeous, curly brown hair and wet tears streaming down her face. She was with her Mom who probably left work early to pick her up, dress her up and take her around the neighborhood.

This is what I heard.

Little Girl in Pink Princess Costume (tiara and all) walking toward my house ...
"NO, I'M NOT GOING UP TO RING ANOTHER DOORBELL"!

Mother mumbles some encouraging words...

I see the little princess in her little princess slippers now slapping her feet down on each step leading up to my porch screaming...
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO"!

Her mouth was saying one thing yet she's still moving toward the door (typical woman)...I get the feeling she's going to get the candy ... that's the main objective ... but it was the soliciting that she was against : ) (Must I Ask For What I Should Already Have kind of attitude).

Mother pleads again.

I'm at the door now and I want to laugh so hard but I don't and keep my composure. This was great. She was getting ready to have a complete melt down in her princess tiara while clutching a pumpkin full of candy. Ohhhhh. Poor little princess.

I needed to expedite the candy transfer process for her Mom's sake and I needed to relieve us all (the entire neighborhood) from this tantrum. She rang the bell and I opened the door.

She was still screaming and did not acknowledge me - AT ALL.

I smiled at the little princess and said "Hello" and positioned the candy so that she could reach in and grab some and she said "AND I'M NOT TAKING ANY CANDY EITHER"!

I looked at her Mom who was now looking down the block for some imaginary ambulance to take her away to happy land ... just then little princess shoved her hand in my pumpkin, grabbed a huge handful of sweets and shoved them in her pumpkin.

I kid you not.

She never said a word to me.

I said "Happy Halloween".

Nothing.

She turned, started to slap her little princess feet down the stairs yelling toward her Mom "AND I'M NOT GOING TO RING ANOTHER BELL EITHER"!

Her poor, frazzled Mom just looked at me thankfully and I nodded back with complete understanding and empathy. I may not have a daughter, but I am one. Sorry Mom : )

That was the best Trick or Treater ever. The little princess absolutely took the prize.

I wonder if she'll be back this year.

I wonder if I'll even recognize her if she's not screaming.

channeling through

please don't let me flounder

in this moment

in the moonlight

in my hunger


I'm trying to understand and

make manifest my plans

by waving away fear and pain

and telling hard truths today


just like yesterday's searching

still rehearsing

patterns of thought that lead

or misdirect


to truth

to future

to freedom

to love now


it completes me somehow

confuses me too

channeling through

to the other side of understanding


best slow it down some

since listening is key and

creation is found in stillness

Am I wanting too much


or will it all come to me

Grandmother Violet's short visit

Okay, I need to take a break from my finger.

My late Grandmother Violet came to me in my dreams last night.

She kissed me and hugged me expressing how much she loved me and missed me.

It was so real.

I could feel her.

The feeling was so strong.

I woke up with such a happy feeling of belonging and being loved so very much. It was a very precious dream. Or was it?

pain is a four letter word

So, the nurse took nine stitches out of my finger this morning.

She called in an assistant to hold my finger while she poked and pulled the blue stitching up to the surface. She used a clamp and small scissors, cutting string one by one.

Everything was fine until she made a uh-oh sound and then started to speak in a way that was alarming to me.

Nurse: "Okay. I have to get this stitch out and, it's uh, in between your nail and your skin".

(The nail you ask? It was removed for the surgery. Then replaced to help the finger heal - yes, removed, replaced and I'm told will fall off and grow back, way on down the road. Yay.)

Nurse looks directly into Patient's eyes.

Patient: "Okay, everybody BACK OFF me"!

I wanted to bolt out of the room. I felt crowded. I got claustrophobic. . .I placed my head in between my legs and tried to breathe normally.

Uggggghhhh.

I know one thing about medical professionals. They are just like construction workers, who are just like carpenters, who are just like plumbers. They tell you it will take two weeks to do your renovation nay! reconstruction - and we all know that they lie like the rugs they lay. Two weeks turns into a month and the money due is usually tripled.

Medical professionals are no different.

Dr. Giampapa told me I was going to feel some discomfort.

Feel

some

discomfort

HA!

Let me tell you...pain is a four letter word and she's a bitch!

Nobody fully prepares you for meeting her and unless you meet her face to face, you will not be fully acquainted.

That's what he should've told me before the surgery. That's what I'd tell anyone going in for reconstructive surgery on their finger tip.

Old Patient to New Patient: "You my friend, are going to become well acquainted with pain, so prepare yourself!"

I appreciated the nurse's candor, but perhaps that was not the right time for me to be told to bite the bullet. Less is more when you're in the middle of it.

Before, definitely. After, too late. During, not so much.

I felt like I was going to faint.

The blood began draining from my head and I got queasy.

The nurse and her assistant began scurrying out the door and back in with a bucket that at first I guessed they'd use if I got sick. But it was filled with ice water and gauze.

They began placing wet, gauze compresses on my forehead, the back of my neck, and my wrists. It calmed me somewhat.

But I seriously had to calm myself down - she had only taken out half of the the damn stitches.

I stabilized and I asked to continue. I needed this torture to be over.

Pull, tug, snip. Pull, tug, snip - ooouuuuuchhhhh, a few tears and I got through it.

It actually wasn't that bad. We all agree, the worst (pain) is over.

Whew! A few deep cleansing breaths, ahhhhh, much better.

They bandaged me up for another two weeks. I still have to keep it elevated and bathe it in baby shampoo everyday. It's still painful to the bone, disgusting, white, unrecognizable and so far, completely useless.

They have assured me it's doing what it's supposed to be doing.

What? You want to see another picture.

Okay, but this was yesterday, so still stitched up.

Tomorrow, when I change the dressing, I'll take another shot.

Here you go... but beware...it's ugly.

Listen, I told you! I didn't lie did I? : *(

Mending, Knitting Finger

CAUTION -NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

How could I forget?

Jim's been doing it most of his life and it is Sunday after all.

I didn't actually forget, I just didn't realize that today was opening day for football. The Cedar Grove Panthers have been a mainstay in our lives and they completely eluded me this morning.

In my mind, I was working up to going out to maybe get some breakfast with my love. I even thought of taking a ride to Costco for blueberries. Maybe a little ride in the Smart car.

But no.

Today is Jim's big opening day and I can't believe I didn't even think about it this morning.

In my defense, I had hand surgery to remove bone and reconstruct my fingertip on September 3rd. Since then, I've been incapacitated.

My body/mind/spirit has been preoccupied somewhat. That sucks for me twice, since when I remembered that today was football day, it unexpectedly brought me to tears.

I've been in terrific pain, unable to do much of anything with my right hand, trying to send myself Reiki and positive, healing thoughts. It's hard but not impossible.

The pain changes and subsides. It increases to unbearable and then calms down again to a simmer.

That goes for both physical and emotional.

Sure, it's just a fingertip - an unrecognizable, swollen, disgusting, y incised, pasty white, bruised, stitched up through the nail 9 times, hyper sensitive, throbbing

...ugggghhh...need I say more?

I will post a picture of it...will you be okay with that?

We're in this together after all right?

Ok...here it goes...

Nasty huh?

Did I mention my fingers are all stiffening and I might have to have physical therapy later down the road, and I've had to keep my hand above my heart for the last 288 hours and counting?

The good news? Yes, there's always good news and a bright side ...

Today is opening day for football and it just so happens to be my five year anniversary for quitting smoking! I have not smoked a single cigarette in five years! I will never smoke cigarettes again and trust me, if I didn't start in the last eleven days, I never will.

How did I remember that? I didn't. QuitNet Email Service reminded me.

And, today I am getting acquainted with my left hand. So far, as you can see I can type with my left hand. Not 90 wpm like with both, but, I hack away at it.

I can almost carry hot tea with confidence, but not really.

I can feed myself as long as there is no meat cutting or spaghetti twirling.

I have limitations. That's okay. I have pain. That's okay too, for now.

I have to figure out a new way of doing most of the things we take for granted.

Showering for instance. Try holding your right hand, sealed in plastic - virtually useless - above your heart, nay! above your head for the duration of the shower (do not get it wet!). Now wash up. Soap in face cloth, lather, put soap down, (no cheating...and if you don't drop the soap you are cheating! Ah, no problem right?

What about your left arm?

Trust me. It ain't easy.

Neither is brushing your teeth, getting dressed, brushing/drying/washing your hair, putting on makeup or plucking your eyebrows (which I have not even tried). I can't imagine putting on mascara with my left hand.

Oh, and my poor house is getting messy. Jim is working, coaching, sleeping, there's little time for chores, but he chips in. It's just not the same and it won't be for some time to come.

Did I mention that people notice the bandaged middle finger ... I guess it's odd.

This finger is going to take a while to heal. I just don't want to lose more time than I've already lost. My stitches are supposed to come out on Wednesday, but from what I see, no way. Not yet.

Either way, patience is the order of the day. And writing important stuff on the calendar, lest we forget. Oh yeah, I miss writing too.

summer fleeting

I dreamt of this image last night.

Summer is not interested in going gently into the night.

Not in my heart anyway.

So, here's to Summer . . .

PS i've undergone hand surgery so ... more pics, less typing ...

Love & Namaste

Contemplating the Seasons

Photo by Maria - Fall 2007

So here we are smack dab in the beginning of a new Fall Season in the Garden State. Incredibly some leaves on the trees are turning a golden reddish hue and in some cases, they're falling off the trees already.

I'm not ready for falling leaves. But I have been known to rake if need be.

Raking leaves reminds me of two of my most favorite people, my late grandparents Mary & Walter. Nanny & Poppy.

We always raked leaves together. Back then you could burn them in a pile in the street which Poppy did, while Nanny kept us away at a ridiculously safe distance. Sweet.

Fall smelled of changing and burning leaves, pumpkin and apple pie, back to school, cheer leading and football, hot chocolate and Nanny & Poppy.

Ahhhh pumpkin and apple pies. I'm burning two candles right now and they're driving me crazy. One is pumpkin spice and the other is apple pie. My house smells like a heavenly bakery.

I wish I knew how to bake really yummy pies. I suppose I could always learn. I had to learn to love pies as I grew up. I wasn't very fond of spicy and tart foods - I liked things bland and simple.

It wasn't until I got much older that I developed a palate.

Maybe I'll even attempt to bake a pumpkin pie this year : p

I found the biggest pine cone in my back yard the other day. There are dozens of pine trees behind the house and typically their cones are average size at best. The one I found was at least six inches long! Somebody told me that means that we're going to have a rough Winter and although he was a real ass - I think he might be right. Ugggggghhhh.

We've been through rough Winters before, we'll get through them again.

There is definitely something wonderful about the changing of the seasons.

Maybe the seasons change to remind us to change with every fresh, crisp start. They change and help us remember when really important stuff happens during our lives. You know, so that every moment doesn't bleed into everything else.

To me, seasons are a cyclical reminder on a grand scale from Mother Earth that none of our existence is static. It's organic. It's changing all the time. Maybe we should too.

The Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring of it all has it's significance otherwise it wouldn't exist, right? It couldn't possibly be just about the weather. Could it?

Photo by Maria - Fall 2007