The Dentist, Qi and Reiki

Yesterday I went to the dentist for what I thought was going to be a pretty routine visit. He was working on finishing some prep work for a porcelain crown but the tooth had become pretty problematic with the nerve being quite hypersensitive.

While taking my last trip recently I realized that the pressure of high elevation aggravated this problem and the tooth calcified somewhat to avoid the pain. Did you know that our teeth can do that? We have a tremendous ability to heal ourselves, but I digress.

Yesterday turned into one of the longest days in the dentist's chair that I can ever recall. The first two hours consisted of getting approximately 7 shots of Novocaine that didn't take.

That's right.

Seven shots that didn't take in two hours.

The nerve pressure was overriding all of his efforts to numb the tooth.

Add to that the fact that I am asthmatic and the drugs he can use on me become limited.

I became quite nervous and upset. Hot tears ran down my face when I realized that I needed even more shots. Also, a root canal takes at least two visits and since I am taking a flight later on in the week, he needed to finish it in one day or getting on the plane would be excruciating.

I had to calm myself down.

We've discussed this in past. I seem to "eat up" the anesthesia right there in the chair from nerves. I mean, who really enjoys going to the dentist? I can not stand it and I tell him that plainly.

We get a chuckle or two out of my dismay - but seriously - it freaks me out.

At one point he suggested I take some deep breaths while tilting my head to one side - the side of the nerve pain - to let the anesthetic work better.

He suggested I meditate. I told him that I do meditate although I hadn't since sitting in his chair.

I started to calm myself down and also began some Reiki on myself. I began drawing the power symbol on the roof of my mouth with my tongue and then taking my tongue and drawing it on the tooth itself. I sent all the healing energy that I have inside myself to my tooth.

It had an amazing affect.

The next time he checked me by blowing cold air on my tooth - FINALLY, I felt only some slight pressure.

I continued sending myself Reiki for the next hour and a half while he finished prepping my tooth for the root canal. He got the root out and then the bleeding would not stop.

Green tea and Vitamin E are blood thinners. Two things I take on a regular basis. I couldn't believe he said the bleeding wouldn't stop - it was my own fault. I should not have taken them prior to my visit. I should have stopped taking them a week ago but it had completely slipped my mind. I don't really associate bleeding with the dentist - again, my fault.

That being said, it had been over four hours sitting in his chair. Now the bleeding. So, he sent me home for an hour - he did have other patients to see.

I went home for an hour AND HAD TO GO BACK! The bleeding prevented him from finishing what he started.

After an hour of sitting in my office chair staring out the window, I reluctantly went back to his office for Round Two...when it really felt like Round Twenty Two.

I was exhausted.

This time, no anesthetic....I mean the nerves were out so I shouldn't feel any pain right? Wrong!

With Reiki on my mind and tears in my eyes he finished his procedure while I endured some more pain. It wasn't that bad at that point, I think my spirit was more hurt than my tooth.

Suffice to say, I am on antibiotics and Advil's around the clock now hoping the swelling in my face goes down. I woke up at 5:30 am to excruciating pain.

Off to the medicine cabinet for more Advil, more Reiki symbol signing on my tooth with my tongue and back off to sleep I went.

I have A MILLION things to do today...since yesterday's chores went unattended so I really have to sign off but not before a reality check....

...how lucky am I to be able to go to the dentist?

So many people on this planet are suffering without the funds to eat let alone take care of their many illnesses. I am not complaining. Today's blog is about my humanity and my sometime suffering - but this too shall pass.

But not before I tell you how very grateful I am.

In a few days, I will not be able to tell you how awful it was. Sure I'll have this blog to remind me...but what I really want to remember is my gratitude. I say that my dentist is a really pain in my tooth - but what he really is, is a healer. He was a gentle as he could be. He was as patient as he could be especially with a teary, scared child-like woman in his chair for umpteen hours. He did all that he could do for me and yes, he gets paid quite handsomely, but I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be able to go and get my teeth fixed so that I can chew my food and sustain my body.

I am also so very grateful for my spiritual walk that has brought Reiki into my life for times like these. Qi - or energy - is alive and well in every single living thing and when you focus on it and call it to service, it never lets you down.

Thanks to my dentist Dr. D., Namaste to Dr. Usui - the founder of Reiki and I can't forget my teacher Jane Berrigan who taught Reiki to me www.balanceandflow.com. I am eternally grateful to you all, to be alive, and well, channeling some serious energy.

Qigong: The Ancient Art of Self Healing

Calling All Angels

Help Is Within Reach

I'm realizing more and more that the path that I am on is the right one. I've been on the wrong one in the past more often than not - so the clarity that I have now cannot be denied.

Illness manifesting in our bodies due to past trauma is something that I'm coming to terms with in a big way in my life. It seems that as soon as I accepted this reality, opportunity began to present itself to me.

"So, you want to help people huh"? says my mind.

"Yes, I really do". says my heart and spirit.

Well, be careful what you ask for.

There are so many people in pain all around us if we would only take the time to speak with them. You need only to look into the eyes of a person to see it.

I met someone over the weekend that fits that description to a T. His name is Joe and he is in some serious pain. We went to his restaurant in Elizabeth and while we were sharing a meal with some friends he came out from the back where the food is prepared. He had a beautiful smile - but the smile didn't come very easily. He was cordial and pleasant - but just don't scratch the surface.

Now, keep in mind, I've never met this man in my life.

Underneath his forced smile is a man in a tremendous amount of pain. My heart instantly went into an empathic overdrive mode as I could see it - no, I could feel it.

He came over to our table and made some small talk. He said something about his mind always racing. He said something about crying. My husband agreed with him and said "yeah, I cry too - but not in front of my wife". We laughed because I knew what my husband was talking about but not what Joe was talking about. I knew there was something so much deeper going on. I reached into my spiritual bag of medicine and I asked him if he ever meditated and he said no. How about prayer? Meh, not so much. We made some more small talk and he left the table to go tend to his restaurant.

After some time, I went over to where Joe was standing and starting to speak with him some more. Now, this is where it gets personal - but how can we help each other unless we are willing to go out on a limb? I said before I could feel his pain. I mean, I wanted to cry to release some of the pressure but that would only help me - not him. I was praying in my spirit the whole time I was speaking with him asking God to show me...

I asked Joe plainly....."are you suicidal"?

I asked him this because I know what that looks like and feels like. I've been there. I knew he was - but I didn't know if he was willing to release any of the pressure that was building up inside of him.

Well, he just about jumped out of his skin. He looked at me in amazement. He grabbed his head with both hands "How do you know that"? he asked me.

I just know Joe. I've been there. Thank God I'm no longer there - but that neighborhood looks awfully familiar and scary.

He went on to say that he purchased a hand gun three months ago and that he was planning on killing himself.

He said it wouldn't be long now.

I pleaded with him and offered him my friendship and prayers. I gave him my telephone number and told him to call me anytime. I told him he didn't have to do that and that maybe, just maybe, things could get better.

I began to tell him a little bit more about myself and about how I used to feel the way he feels. I told him it can get better.

I'm not sure if he believed me.

It was time to leave the restaurant so, I took his number and we left. I spoke to my husband about what I had just learned. He said he could also see that Joe was in pain.

It was so obvious to us.

Suffice to say, I've already prayed for and sent Reiki to Joe. I've called him this morning and thank God he answered the phone. I have to call him back in a short while. I'm going to try and reach him on a more spiritual level but until he deals with whatever is bothering him - healthwise, he's in critical condition.

He is just one of many of us right now that are trying to cope with the reality that is our lives. We sometimes have to look at the unpleasant in order to find peace.

That's the way it's worked for me anyway - or should I say - is still working for me. I've been down that road and lived on that street in that neighborhood for a long time. It wasn't until I opened my mouth and spoke some really hard truths that the moving van showed up and took me to a much better place.

So, you want to help people huh?

Yes, yes, I really do.

DEBORAH KING, J.D., author of Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You (Hay House 2009), is a health & wellness expert, attorney, national keynote speaker, frequent TV and radio commentator, a regular blogger for The Huffington Post and Psychology Today, and a “healer to the stars.” She also hosts her own radio show, "Truth Heals with Deborah King." As a young attorney and hotel developer, Deborah suffered from a host of emotional and medical problems, culminating with cancer in her twenties. Her amazing recovery led her to leave the corporate arena for the alternative medical field, where she mastered ancient and modern healing systems and ultimately developed a powerful energy healing technique of her own. She is trained to address both the mind and the body’s health and disease processes. Deborah makes frequent appearances on national news and entertainment programs, and is known for her insightful and entertaining commentary on the news of the day.

Deborah says, "I learned about the mind body connection when I was working on healing the cancer that woke me up in my twenties. It was only when I faced the truth of the childhood sexual abuse that I experienced that I understood why the emotional pain we’ve buried in our bodies must be released."

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Peel Back Some Layers

This post should be a little lighter than my last. I feel lighter anyway. The drugs are slowly leaving my body and being replaced with, well, nothing.

That's a great feeling. I'm not taking anything except an inhaler twice a day to keep my asthma in check. Truthfully, I'm thinking I don't even need that anymore. Perhaps my pulminologist will agree when I see him again next month.

As for the rest of me - and there certainly is a lot more than meets the eye....I'm better.

I posted that I didn't pray the other day except for the praying along with the inauguration. That wasn't entirely true. I did pray later in the day. I prayed and I meditated. I did yesterday as well and I'm planning on it again today.

Prayer for me is a constant for the most part. Unless I get in my own way. It really changes everything. I've known that for forever but it seems that when I need it the most sometimes, I can't bring myself to do it. Eventually I do - but sometimes there's a bit of resistance.

It's only when I push through that feeling that the rewards are waiting for me.

Meditation is also that way....and while prayer is more about asking and seeking, meditation is all about listening. You have to listen for the answers and I'm never disappointed. God speaks to my heart through all sorts of things and meditation is definitely one of them.

Reiki is also something I've not given enough credence to lately here in my postings. I do Reiki everyday on everything. It's a mindset and from what I've been taught - the stirrings that come from within are definitely as a result of Reiki as well as prayer and meditation. All of these things combined have a cause and effect.

Now, you may or may not believe that...that's okay. I can only speak for myself. But suffice to say I am not the same person I was before I took my first Reiki certification. And, I am equally different since taking my second.

I am preparing myself for my third which I'm planning as soon as perhaps next week and I'll pursue my final certification "Reiki Master Teacher" soon after that. The last one takes several months. I'd imagine that by the time I finish the last one, I will officially be able to walk on water lol!

Seriously, it changes everything. For those that have no concept or limited beliefs, just go and get a Reiki treatment and see for yourself....or pray and meditate for that matter. Cause and effect.

The ripples in the lake are there if you just push your finger past the surface. Sure you can stay on the waters edge and never, ever get wet - or you can jump in feet first and just as John the Baptist baptised Jesus, you too can get bathed in that light.

Light, as it turns out, lives in Reiki, prayer and meditation. You can see it. You can feel it. It is more than your flesh and blood. It is more than your mind. It is all about your spirit.

Unfortunately some human beings lose sight of this because of our mortal bodies. Our bodies are loud and cumbersome. They take up a lot of space and time. They complain, they groan, they gloat, they shamelessly think they are important and yes, some bodies are....but most are not. Our bodies are vehicles for our spirits. To pay more attention to the body and forgo the spirit - well, that's just ego and can be very scary.

I'm always talking about spirit which is always the opposite. Christianity for one, teaches to suppress the bodies constant whining about needing this or that. Discipline is the answer to that. Saying no is also the answer. When my spirit is too weak to pray - I know I've crossed over into the human realm and that's when I need to start pedaling back. Back to spirit. It's always at that point that I am reassured and my clay pot is filled to overflowing. But, the opposite of that is also true - if I resist I will empty out my vessel as quick as the blink of an eye. Sure there is a surplus, but it's our daily bread that feeds us...not the loaf in the freezer.

I guess that's why there are days. Days symbolically represent our lives so fully. Every day is a new beginning. There is a sunrise and sunset and all glorious moments in between. Choices live in these days. Choices to seek out the spirit, to suppress the bodies groaning and to give Glory to the One who has placed you here ever so gently.

Life is hard. Illness is awful. But, we have a plethora of resources to help us through. Let us never forget that. You are not alone in your suffering or your joy for that matter....they go hand in hand. I'm learning that all things - the blessings and the struggles - work together for the good of those that love Him. He is the creator of your life. Loving Him has it's merits, benefits and rewards, make no mistake.

As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord, today and every day.

Mending, Knitting Finger

CAUTION -NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

How could I forget?

Jim's been doing it most of his life and it is Sunday after all.

I didn't actually forget, I just didn't realize that today was opening day for football. The Cedar Grove Panthers have been a mainstay in our lives and they completely eluded me this morning.

In my mind, I was working up to going out to maybe get some breakfast with my love. I even thought of taking a ride to Costco for blueberries. Maybe a little ride in the Smart car.

But no.

Today is Jim's big opening day and I can't believe I didn't even think about it this morning.

In my defense, I had hand surgery to remove bone and reconstruct my fingertip on September 3rd. Since then, I've been incapacitated.

My body/mind/spirit has been preoccupied somewhat. That sucks for me twice, since when I remembered that today was football day, it unexpectedly brought me to tears.

I've been in terrific pain, unable to do much of anything with my right hand, trying to send myself Reiki and positive, healing thoughts. It's hard but not impossible.

The pain changes and subsides. It increases to unbearable and then calms down again to a simmer.

That goes for both physical and emotional.

Sure, it's just a fingertip - an unrecognizable, swollen, disgusting, y incised, pasty white, bruised, stitched up through the nail 9 times, hyper sensitive, throbbing

...ugggghhh...need I say more?

I will post a picture of it...will you be okay with that?

We're in this together after all right?

Ok...here it goes...

Nasty huh?

Did I mention my fingers are all stiffening and I might have to have physical therapy later down the road, and I've had to keep my hand above my heart for the last 288 hours and counting?

The good news? Yes, there's always good news and a bright side ...

Today is opening day for football and it just so happens to be my five year anniversary for quitting smoking! I have not smoked a single cigarette in five years! I will never smoke cigarettes again and trust me, if I didn't start in the last eleven days, I never will.

How did I remember that? I didn't. QuitNet Email Service reminded me.

And, today I am getting acquainted with my left hand. So far, as you can see I can type with my left hand. Not 90 wpm like with both, but, I hack away at it.

I can almost carry hot tea with confidence, but not really.

I can feed myself as long as there is no meat cutting or spaghetti twirling.

I have limitations. That's okay. I have pain. That's okay too, for now.

I have to figure out a new way of doing most of the things we take for granted.

Showering for instance. Try holding your right hand, sealed in plastic - virtually useless - above your heart, nay! above your head for the duration of the shower (do not get it wet!). Now wash up. Soap in face cloth, lather, put soap down, (no cheating...and if you don't drop the soap you are cheating! Ah, no problem right?

What about your left arm?

Trust me. It ain't easy.

Neither is brushing your teeth, getting dressed, brushing/drying/washing your hair, putting on makeup or plucking your eyebrows (which I have not even tried). I can't imagine putting on mascara with my left hand.

Oh, and my poor house is getting messy. Jim is working, coaching, sleeping, there's little time for chores, but he chips in. It's just not the same and it won't be for some time to come.

Did I mention that people notice the bandaged middle finger ... I guess it's odd.

This finger is going to take a while to heal. I just don't want to lose more time than I've already lost. My stitches are supposed to come out on Wednesday, but from what I see, no way. Not yet.

Either way, patience is the order of the day. And writing important stuff on the calendar, lest we forget. Oh yeah, I miss writing too.

Mighty Lessons Learned

One of the biggest mistakes that I've ever made was not allowing myself to feel something, whatever that may have been at the time.

Perhaps I was going through a painful experience and instead of facing it head on, praying about it, talking about it (with the right people) I would either pretend I wasn't feeling it, or numb myself by getting into even more trouble.

That set me back monumentally. It's self sabotage.

I realize we do these things because it's hard to feel bad feelings, sad feelings, insecure or frightening feelings. Sometimes life is not all sweetness and air. Sometimes it's damp and heavy and musty and depressing.

I have found that over time it is best to acknowledge and accept whatever it is. You have to eventually anyway if you want to lead a healthy, productive, evolved, illuminating, conscious, forgiving, nurturing (to yourself as well as others) and gift filled life.

If you allow yourself to turn away from that which haunts you, you will only continue to be haunted. Perhaps it will show up when you least expect it.

We trick ourselves into thinking 'this or that' doesn't bother us. That it's all under control. But then the ripples on the surface of our lake break, and the cycle of pain and denial begins all over again.

It becomes a re-living of that very experience that you thought you'd put behind you. It taunts you. It teases you. It has all the power over you as long as you choose not to face it.

Once you do face it head on, however, the flood gates of anxiety, fear, pain, sorrow, remorse, anger, they all release and come to the surface. At that point, you can either turn away because it's too much or you can work through it. You might get sicker before you get better, but like any infection with a little care it will clear up.

I have many emotional scars that I tend to. All mighty lessons learned. I don't try to deny that they exist or that I once felt a certain way in particular. I am who I am. I went through what I went through. Life happens to all of us and it makes us stronger in the end, I am convinced because I am proof.

Today, I am living in the present moment. If something arises on the surface and bothers me, I tend to look deeper to find the root (if there is one). I will allow myself to feel. Feel the sorrow. Feel the loss. Feel the insecurity of it all. If it is a deep rooted feeling and I know the origination, I pray and meditate and give that over to God. I 'give it over' to God by releasing it into the air, into the Spirit, into Grace.

God waits all day for us to give Him our struggles and He happily takes them and replaces them with peace, strength and a sense of space where there was none before. That space can then be used by God to teach us about the true essence of the strength in growing and evolving from humanity into Spirit.

Embrace the evolution and rejoice! What you are to be you are still becoming.

Love & Namaste

The Summer of Rest

His Presence taken by me...

My surgery ten months ago caught me off guard. Sure I had been having some issues at the time, but I never thought I'd lose so much blood I'd be rushed off to the hospital in an ambulance. I didn't think I would survive the horrific infection I had developed from the unsuccessful first surgery the week before that! Two surgery's and one nasty infection in between in the span of three weeks. I never thought I'd need all of the rest of the summer of 2007 to recover (psst...I'm still recovering). That is my memory of the summer of 2007, a mere ten months ago, recovering from emergency surgery that left me cut, scarred, weak, anemic, fifteen pounds lighter, pale (still pale), confused, depressed, but grateful....yay, fun times.

I never saw it coming. I had had some issues as I mentioned, like most women do but I never thought in a million years I'd wind up on my bathroom floor writhing in pain, going into shock thinking that moment was going to be my last.

One minute you're fine you're hanging out, relatively happy, playing a video game (in my case XBOX 360 TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 07) minding your own business and in the next minute your body decides to do something else putting you're life in jeopardy.

This is as good as it gets. These are the bodies, minds and spirits we were divinely given. Take good care then, this is serious. You just don't know what's around the corner...it's true based on my life experience. We do know that a minute ago we were all babies...just around the corner is 27, or 45, 65, 70 or God help us 80 or 90 but what of the human condition? What of the spirit? What of the mind? What of the body? How much can yours withstand of this 'life'?

What's beyond? Who knows? But for the love of the here and now, be kind to yourself. Be kind to one another. Cultivate love. Reap and sow love. Feed your spirit. Feed your mind. Forgive easily. Take your vitamins and get your rest. Drink plenty of fluids (getting beveraged up doesn't count - although wine does have some medicinal value). "Everything in moderation..." I overheard someone say once "...even moderation in moderation". Hmmm, how 'bout stress in moderation? How 'bout no stress (self induced or otherwise)?

Surround yourself with good thoughts every day about yourself, about your mate, about your neighbor, about your enemy, about strangers cutting you off on the highway. Lower your stress levels. Have fun! Play video games. Dance. Sing. Whistle. Hum for Pete's sake. Take deep breaths. You've heard that stress kills...well, all that bad blood has got to go somewhere inside of you so be conscious of what you're allowing to build up on the inside and what you're allowing yourself to get caught up in. Be aware of your "tolerance of others" level and increase it. If the really small insignificant things bug you or steal your joy, what will happen to you when the really big stuff happens like life, death, illness and everything in between?

Life is a precious gift. Your health (as good or as bad as it is RIGHT NOW) is a gift. Go outside for a walk and thank God that you're alive. Thank him that you CAN freely walk and run today. Thank Him that you have a brain to formulate praise with today and that you are mindful of Him and all that He has given you. Pray for those that have not today. Pray for those who are ill today. Give freely of yourself.

Be mindful of your worst day physically, spiritually and mentally and do not take those lessons or another minute of your precious life for granted. Live.

CoSM / Bodies

Yesterday was a great day. A big thank you goes out to David Crofts Monroe (Drunk With Barley) who enlightened me about some very interesting art work by way of one of my earlier posts (Einstein Intuitiveness). David likened my essay to one of Alex Grey's paintings. What a huge and important compliment! I was so humbled, I had to check it out.

Alex Grey has created one of the most astounding art exhibits I've ever seen. I checked out his website (http://www.cosm.org/) and then took my husband to see it, live and in person in downtown Manhattan. It was a gorgeous day, breezy, bright and sunny.

The Chapel of the Sacred Mirrors (CoSM) is a meditative and thought provoking place. Alex's art is bigger than life itself in my opinion. It takes you stage by stage through the human life experience including but not limited to the physical, psychic and spiritual. His portrayal of the human anatomy, be it male or female, is quite striking in that you (we all) resemble each other so completely. Once you get through the physical, the metaphysical comes into view. You realize through Alex's interpretation, that there is a wave length (or grid) that exists from this side of the planet to the other that extends through humanity, the firmament and the galaxies. Messages travel at the speed of light (and faster probably) and in a flash, information, thoughts, feelings, and intentions ride that grid instantly reaching the other side or the intended listener.

The first time I viewed the images on the web, they brought a tear to my eye. They were so revealing. I was visualizing what I've always felt on the inside...that there is so much more to the human existence than meets the eye. We are so much more than our physical bodies stripped down to bare bones. The psychic and spiritual still exist long after the body dies. It really is just a vessel and a means to an end (transference) . What you do to it, how you treat it, how you treat others all goes back to the psychic and spiritual. They exist forever. That you cannot destroy.

Mark 14:58

'I will destroy this man-made temple and in three days will build another, not made by man.'

Then we went to The Bodies Exhibit at the South Street Seaport. These real bodies are preserved through an innovative process (plasticized) and then "respectfully" presented. Uh, not so sure about the "respectfully" part. These were human beings, alive at one time displayed in an exhibit....one is holding a football, one is holding a baseball...hmmmm?

Very recently the news media have exposed the possibility that these people were prisoners from China and while they may have been overcome by some kind of accidental death, there is a suggestion that perhaps they are on display without ever giving anyone permission to do so. Opportunists have done this to them. Very interesting and very creepy.

It was strange to observe the human body in such three dimension. In most cases, there was only air between you and the 'person' your viewing. The air in the room was filtered and moving and thus, in some cases, the plasticized blood vessels moved and swayed slightly in the air. The vibrations from people moving within the room sent the 'exhibits' to shiver in some cases. BIZARRE I tell you, but from a biological standpoint truly fascinating.

They had every part of the human body exposed in various forms and layers. Fetal displays from one to nine month stages....who were they and where did they come from? That was troubling to see.

They went so far as to slice the human body in one inch increments through bone and skin displaying what one would look like had they been viewed from an MRI. You can see everything. They also had several disease filled organs on display, i.e., lungs, hearts, livers, colons. The smokers lungs were so black compared to the pinkness of the more healthy versions. The things we do to ourselves, and each other are astounding.

I would say that overall the day was extremely educational. I most enjoyed the Alex Grey exhibit and watching my husband view the exhibits with curiosity and awe. Last nights dreams were full of weird and freaky images. I'll be thinking about this for a long time to come. Thanks again to David Crofts Monroe for bringing this to our attention. It was terrific.

Deeper Meaning

She’s always looking for deeper meaning
Like when she gets split ends
She runs to the church instead of to the drug store
Partly because her hair is dry
And partly because transmissions between she and God are sometimes frayed

She’ll tell you there are no coincidences
Like when the Rosary Beads keep coming in the mail
from the Franciscan Priests
She knows they couldn’t possibly all be for her

So she waits for God to tell her who they belong to
And He tells her, like only God can
With no randomness and with a very clear voice
And when the light turns green and she goes

She tries really hard to keep the connection
She moves forward trying new directions
Like the one she went in last night in her dreams
Which she tells you is a message from Him and not

The smores she ate before she went to bed
She’ll tell you her faith is like that sometimes
It's stronger in some places and weaker in others
But she somehow manages to hold it all together

Like the unseen Holy mortar in between the prayers at the Wailing Wall
She is in constant prayer
Trying fervently to increase her faith
She’ll tell you that faith comes by hearing

But she doesn’t realize that right now the music in her head
is playing way too loud
She can’t make out the words
So she relies on her intuition
Which always makes the signal come in clearer