My Life Has Meaning

It looks as if I'm becoming a seasonal blogger and that's not too cool.  I really want to spend more time here exploring and documenting the turns and twists in my life, but life gets busy right?  Season after emotional season.  Even though, not writing since February?  That's just not right....so, I'll try to write more, okay?

Happy Spring!  It's just starting to look a little like Spring around Northern New Jersey.  While the rest of the country is experiencing the most tumultuous weather patterns, we're just recovering from some of the worst flooding this Garden State has ever seen.  Ask any old timer though, this is not new.  Weather has been doing this kind of damage and destruction since the beginning of time.  Still, with the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, the earthquakes in Haiti, Christ Church, New Zealand, and the tornadoes in the mid-west of the U.S. - it's a bit much.  What can you make of it?

But enough about the weather.  I'm just starting to feel like myself again.  I've been going through so many changes these past twelve or so months.  I think God is carving out a special place in my heart for only Spirit to inhabit.  There are so many emotions, thoughts, preconceived notions, and just plain things I thought I knew that frankly, I'm beginning to see, no one can ever know.  Life is mysterious.  Love is even more so it seems.

I'm beginning to think that my heart is called to love on a much bigger level than on a case by case basis.  Sure it's fine to be in relationships and have feelings for one another on a small, intimate scale.  Sometimes, life's most precious challenges are found therein, but I think my Spirit is driven toward the world at large.  I find myself thinking about all of the inhabitants on earth - all my brothers and sisters, and what they're facing, how they're coping, how they're living, and I'm compelled to pray for them, for us.  I'm compelled to hold humanity in prayer and light and send love and healing to them by virtue of intention, and Reiki, through prayer and meditation.  The more I do it, the more I'm driven to do it and it's a constant thought in my head and feeling in my heart.  I'm not sure if I'm putting it there or not.  It's always been there since as long as I can remember.

God definitely is calling me out of the more traditional relationships - or maybe I've just been too hurt by them to spend my energy on something that never comes back to me for the long haul.  I really want to be a part of something that produces fruit.  I want to produce fruit for God's Glory, you know?  I've tried to produce it for my own and it didn't work.  I'm pretty much done with that, at least for now.

Two nights ago, I gave a Reiki lecture at MSU that was really rewarding.  I was afforded the opportunity to speak to young, college minds studying world religion and hopefully some seeds were planted that God will water.  That being said, I just wish one of those students smiled at me while I walked the campus.  I was consciously walking through, on my way to University Hall to speak and while walking, passed many students who just seemed weighed down and disconnected.  This compels me, even more, to speak words of hope into their ears and maybe even their souls, so that they may 'live and prosper', for real.

I did tell them that too.  I told them that I wished just one of them smiled at me.  Turns out, many of them stayed behind after the lecture just to hug me.  They went far beyond what I had hoped was in their hearts.  

I'm so looking forward to the next phase in my life and I seem to find myself saying that a lot, but it's the truth.  For me, life is a world of learning experiences that lead you from one level or plateau, to another.  It's an upward, at times struggling climb that one takes on for the soul purpose of leading a well lived life.  Learning from experiences and becoming a better person, serving the world and community at large seems to be for me, the point of existence.  Helping.  Healing.  Loving.  Serving.  Supporting.  SHARING.  And the list goes on.

Reiki & The Adrenaline Rush

Ahhhhh, the blessed gift of Reiki.

Reiki is a light shining in our world. At first I had no real idea what it would come to mean to me but after working with it for over five years now, I can say confidently that Reiki is energy filled with tenderness and healing love that I know could only come from God, Him and Herself.

It is my humble opinion that each person has an energy field that is as unique as their fingerprint or DNA. Everyone 'feels' differently to me. You can ask me during a session what I'm feeling and I can pretty much sum it up in a few words. I'm not trying to feel anything mind you. I'm praying and keeping my intention quite focused during a Reiki session, but the overflow of energy cannot be denied. I'm learning to harness that energy or calm it, if need be. I mostly like to ride the wave as I've mentioned in the past. No big surprise there.

It's not exactly like an adrenalin rush but a pretty close second. When skydiving six years ago, I had probably the most alive feeling that I've ever experienced. Keep in mind, I don't need to leave my house to feel alive. I truly love this life experience and I have learned to appreciate the most under appreciated of circumstances, but jumping out of an airplane puts things in perspective. In that moment, you experience consciousness personified.

Believe me, you are in that moment, conscious and accounted for. Now, I've only gone skydiving once, and I'm hoping to go again this summer, but I feel pretty confident speaking on the subject. In that moment, you have to make a choice. Technically, you made the choice when you got on the airplane, but when the doors open and it's your turn, you decide in that millisecond to JUMP out of the airplane and your mind goes blank because the next thought cannot be computed that's how focused you are on the second at hand. This second. The second that you jump. No other second exists in this timeframe. Only now.

While jumping out of a airplane is a real physical experience, Reiki is similar because it is a real physical and spiritual experience. When you jump out of an airplane, you physically plummet through the earth's atmosphere and when you land safely on earth, you are not the same person you were when you went up. You are rejuvenated, fearless, as light as a feather, energy filled, ready to take on the world and could easily, quite easily jump out of an airplane all over again. Jumping out of an airplane can change you the way Reiki can help you change.

When you experience Reiki the body receives energy that it needs to heal. In addition, spirit approvingly floats through space and time while your mind records necessary information for growth and formulations for possible patterns of change are computed and offered to your higher self, your intuition, your mind, your inner eye, the I Am that is you - whatever you want to call your best self - or who you naturally are. Information is exchanged during a Reiki session. A sort of syncing if you will from Source to soul. A really successful Reiki session will include information and s p a c e for endless possibilities like emotional healing, acceptance, forgiveness, growth, advancement, creativity, intuition, etc.

All of this is going on in the unseen.

This is where consciousness personified is critical for both the Reiki light worker and the recipient.

Matthew 18:20

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them."

Both persons are supremely conscious in their intentions. I am consciously focused on my intention to be open and present and they are supremely conscious about what they've come for. We both jump in without a parachute.

Since I've been working with energy for some time now, I've become accustomed to what I may be feeling. Beginners may need to adjust until they can feel the subtle differences between the ebb and flow of the energy. They may just want to doze off and take a nap and let the Reiki work on it's own. Either way, once the intention is set, the energy begins to flow. I can tell you that it is a very humbling feeling. Similar again to skydiving. You realize how small you are when you dive out of a perfectly good airplane. You also realize how small you are when you get the opportunity to be of service, work with individuals, their energy, and energy of Source.

It is joyful and restful, exhilarating and powerful, rejuvenating and loving, kind and harmless. It has changed my life for the better. Ever since my first experience with Reiki, I am not the same person I used to be. Let's just say that the combination of intention plus Reiki has equaled a constant flow of positive energy that has moved several mountains of resistance in my life. Energy to heal inertia, that would otherwise stay stagnant for a lifetime, is bountiful. When that happens lives change, lives heal, lives get lived to their fullest potential and people become happier, more joyful, more full of light - if that were possible.

Am I glowing? I feel like I'm glowing. I feel like a light bulb that even if you pulled the plug would glow all night. Did I have a Reiki session today? You bet I did. It went well. They always go well for me. I'm still holding my client in the light as the surge of energy heals and flows and lights the way for whatever is coming next.

Reiki heals on so many levels and I'm blessed to be acquainted with something so very basic and simple. It is spreading widely and is becoming more and more available to everyone. I am so looking forward to my future working with this light energy we call Reiki. It is by far, so much easier than jumping out of an airplane and it will change your life if only you're willing to step out on a limb.

Supertramp, makes you wonder

I am very mindful today. I'm working on manifesting some more of what's been around me lately and enjoying the moment.

The moments have been sweet.

Take the last moment. I was listening to music I listened to a lot when I was younger. Practically wore the album out back then. Now of course it's a cd and it too, when I took it out of the case just now, looked smudged and beat up. Nonetheless, I popped it in and filled the house with it. It's on a cellular level....music that is.

Note: I wonder what music does to water, if anything? If thoughts can change it, what can music do?

Rudy, by Supertramp was one of my favorite songs from the Classics album back in the day - it still is but I'm listening to it now with ears that have matured somewhat so it's even better. I just love the storyline and the build up of music throughout and then they bring it back down to a simmer. Just like life she typed smiling.

Just now while listening it made me think of all the beautiful people I've met recently and how we're all so alike. We all get caught up in patterns of emotion and thought and repetitive, crippling, mind numbing, knee-jerk reactions to life. We somehow forget that we're in control and we have the ability to break patterns, process through emotion, forgive, have mercy, get stronger, overcome, be victorious in our lives - in all areas.

But you say 'I've got this to contend with' and 'I've got that'.
Yes, yes, I know. We all do.
We all have highs and lows and we all struggle at points in our lives.
The struggle is just as important as what we interpret as the blessings.

I do distinguish between them too. I thank God for the struggles and the blessings and I'm learning to be more mindful and when those struggles come, I try to ride that wave just like I ride the energy wave. It's all purposeful. It's all useful. Stop struggling against the inevitable tide of divine chaos and start accepting. Once you get into a place of acceptance, decision time comes shortly thereafter. What can you change about it? What are my choices? Is it really a struggle? What is a struggle anyway?

Was that illness that I recovered from a struggle?
Was failure that I recovered from a struggle?
The depression? The loneliness? all recovered from...were they struggles?

How are they so unique if we all experience them?
Do they have a higher purpose?
Do we have a higher purpose?
Are we evolving?
Are we awakening?

And then I remembered my dream from last night.

I was in a motorvehicle driving at night with a few friends and colleagues from my past. I looked up at the nighttime sky and noticed what looked like ufo's. There were a lot of points of white light moving across the sky together. They maintained their space apart and seemed to be flying in formation. I could see them crossing the sky and I could see some white clouds.

I got really excited in my dream and (I think I was in a bus at this point) I got up to join my friends and I said to one of them "Did you see those points of light - there was like a million of them"!

And my friend, who is the funniest dry humor guy calmly says smiling "Yes, I did. There was 500 of them". He was kinda mocking me because okay - maybe a million was exaggerating. Bill called me on it. It was funny stuff and very light hearted. There was no fear involved in this dream and my friend was of a sense of knowing - which was very cool.

At that point we looked back up at the sky and there were tons of white points of light moving. Then, all of a sudden, they became one. I kid you not.

They became one and disappeared behind the clouds.

That's all I remember.

In a moment, thinking about all of these beautiful souls listening to Rudy, a song about all of us, I remembered a dream that blows my mind. I love moments like these.

Still Riding the Energy Wave

(Thank you Bergen Community College)

Today was a day. Well, they're all days - but today...one of my favorites.

I got to spend time with some young, beautiful, vibrant, glowing students at Bergen Community College. Professor Lisa Sargese invited me to give a talk on Reiki and I humbly accepted the invitation. The time seemed to fly. The energy in the room was exceptional. I prayed for these students long before I met them. I sent Reiki energy to each and every one of them. Honestly, I'm sitting here typing at 9:25 full of energy, still riding the wave.

I just realized that I had only eaten a small yogurt and a blueberry multi-grain bar today...and tons of water. I do fast from time to time - deliberately - but today I wasn't planning on it. I've barely eaten. I also realized that I'm getting much better at fasting. It seems that every since I've been attuned to Reiki energy, fasting is as easy as pie...no pun intended.

I am not hungry. I do not have a headache. I have a lot of energy. Do I feel like folding the laundry? No. But I could do it easily and mop the floors if I wanted to. I love that.

I love and am grateful for the opportunity to share. You know it really does come back to you tenfold. I never look for the yang of it...but when yin is in motion, yang is sure to follow. Call it karma, call it a boomerang...call it a chipmunk for all I care...it doesn't matter what label you put on energy. What flows from you, will return to you.

(Special thanks to LM)

What's in your energy?

I Am A Reiki Master

Friday I became a Reiki Master and while that title states that I am a 'Master' now, I still have a lot to learn. I consider myself a student of life and if that's true, you're never done learning.

My experience with my teacher was one of peace and instruction and very positive energy. She told me that I may experience a detoxing as with any of the attunements. After the first two attunements, Reiki I and II, I did experience a lot of emotional issues that surfaced, or resurfaced. Things that I thought I had dealt with came back to the forefront of my mind in a big way. I also had some physical manifestations that led to some major surgery.

It forced my hand somewhat in that I don't believe I truly dealt with some major issues in my life. We have a tendency to push things down and to try and forget them or 'get over it' like I've been told to do many times, but that doesn't work.

Pushing emotional issues or trauma 'down' only brings it back in another way. Stress will manifest itself in your body. Perhaps in a way that is most uncomfortable. Stress can manifest in anger, in mistrust of others, in illness, in self medicating, in overall malaise and a 'putting up a front' sort of personality. Alot of people are like that. They have two sides to them. They put on a smile when they really want to wring someones neck. So they act out in many different ways - but they never face their problems head on.

I was like that for a long time and it did not make me happy or healthy.

I'm not exactly sure what to expect after this Reiki Master attunement but I can tell you this much. I am not who I used to be. What I Am To Be I am still becoming.

I embrace change and I embrace the cleansing process. In an effort to help others, I must first help myself. So, that being said, it's my time to shine. Regardless of the aftermath. No one's life is more important than mine. I have a right to be my authentic self, to live my authentic life and to speak MY truth.

And, I have a funny feeling that MY TRUTH is going to help a lot of people.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs and background, Reiki can help you overcome trauma, past hurts and offenses, drug abuse, you name it. It can help you to heal and to live a better life.

So far, I have three lectures scheduled for the next couple of months;

• The National Guild of Hypnotists - Northern New Jersey Chapter - March 11, 2009;
• Montclair State University Peace Conference - March 30, 2009; and
• Bergen Community College - Women in Religion - April 29, 2009.

How's that for manifesting some major change? I couldn't be more humble or proud at the same time.

My topics will cover overcoming trauma, past offenses and hurts, healing, and of course how Reiki helps with all of that.

If you have a speaking opportunity that you would like me to consider, please reach out and let me know.

Reiki Master! Who knew?

Enjoy the Coffee

Peel Back Some Layers

This post should be a little lighter than my last. I feel lighter anyway. The drugs are slowly leaving my body and being replaced with, well, nothing.

That's a great feeling. I'm not taking anything except an inhaler twice a day to keep my asthma in check. Truthfully, I'm thinking I don't even need that anymore. Perhaps my pulminologist will agree when I see him again next month.

As for the rest of me - and there certainly is a lot more than meets the eye....I'm better.

I posted that I didn't pray the other day except for the praying along with the inauguration. That wasn't entirely true. I did pray later in the day. I prayed and I meditated. I did yesterday as well and I'm planning on it again today.

Prayer for me is a constant for the most part. Unless I get in my own way. It really changes everything. I've known that for forever but it seems that when I need it the most sometimes, I can't bring myself to do it. Eventually I do - but sometimes there's a bit of resistance.

It's only when I push through that feeling that the rewards are waiting for me.

Meditation is also that way....and while prayer is more about asking and seeking, meditation is all about listening. You have to listen for the answers and I'm never disappointed. God speaks to my heart through all sorts of things and meditation is definitely one of them.

Reiki is also something I've not given enough credence to lately here in my postings. I do Reiki everyday on everything. It's a mindset and from what I've been taught - the stirrings that come from within are definitely as a result of Reiki as well as prayer and meditation. All of these things combined have a cause and effect.

Now, you may or may not believe that...that's okay. I can only speak for myself. But suffice to say I am not the same person I was before I took my first Reiki certification. And, I am equally different since taking my second.

I am preparing myself for my third which I'm planning as soon as perhaps next week and I'll pursue my final certification "Reiki Master Teacher" soon after that. The last one takes several months. I'd imagine that by the time I finish the last one, I will officially be able to walk on water lol!

Seriously, it changes everything. For those that have no concept or limited beliefs, just go and get a Reiki treatment and see for yourself....or pray and meditate for that matter. Cause and effect.

The ripples in the lake are there if you just push your finger past the surface. Sure you can stay on the waters edge and never, ever get wet - or you can jump in feet first and just as John the Baptist baptised Jesus, you too can get bathed in that light.

Light, as it turns out, lives in Reiki, prayer and meditation. You can see it. You can feel it. It is more than your flesh and blood. It is more than your mind. It is all about your spirit.

Unfortunately some human beings lose sight of this because of our mortal bodies. Our bodies are loud and cumbersome. They take up a lot of space and time. They complain, they groan, they gloat, they shamelessly think they are important and yes, some bodies are....but most are not. Our bodies are vehicles for our spirits. To pay more attention to the body and forgo the spirit - well, that's just ego and can be very scary.

I'm always talking about spirit which is always the opposite. Christianity for one, teaches to suppress the bodies constant whining about needing this or that. Discipline is the answer to that. Saying no is also the answer. When my spirit is too weak to pray - I know I've crossed over into the human realm and that's when I need to start pedaling back. Back to spirit. It's always at that point that I am reassured and my clay pot is filled to overflowing. But, the opposite of that is also true - if I resist I will empty out my vessel as quick as the blink of an eye. Sure there is a surplus, but it's our daily bread that feeds us...not the loaf in the freezer.

I guess that's why there are days. Days symbolically represent our lives so fully. Every day is a new beginning. There is a sunrise and sunset and all glorious moments in between. Choices live in these days. Choices to seek out the spirit, to suppress the bodies groaning and to give Glory to the One who has placed you here ever so gently.

Life is hard. Illness is awful. But, we have a plethora of resources to help us through. Let us never forget that. You are not alone in your suffering or your joy for that matter....they go hand in hand. I'm learning that all things - the blessings and the struggles - work together for the good of those that love Him. He is the creator of your life. Loving Him has it's merits, benefits and rewards, make no mistake.

As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord, today and every day.