Mending, Knitting Finger

CAUTION -NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

How could I forget?

Jim's been doing it most of his life and it is Sunday after all.

I didn't actually forget, I just didn't realize that today was opening day for football. The Cedar Grove Panthers have been a mainstay in our lives and they completely eluded me this morning.

In my mind, I was working up to going out to maybe get some breakfast with my love. I even thought of taking a ride to Costco for blueberries. Maybe a little ride in the Smart car.

But no.

Today is Jim's big opening day and I can't believe I didn't even think about it this morning.

In my defense, I had hand surgery to remove bone and reconstruct my fingertip on September 3rd. Since then, I've been incapacitated.

My body/mind/spirit has been preoccupied somewhat. That sucks for me twice, since when I remembered that today was football day, it unexpectedly brought me to tears.

I've been in terrific pain, unable to do much of anything with my right hand, trying to send myself Reiki and positive, healing thoughts. It's hard but not impossible.

The pain changes and subsides. It increases to unbearable and then calms down again to a simmer.

That goes for both physical and emotional.

Sure, it's just a fingertip - an unrecognizable, swollen, disgusting, y incised, pasty white, bruised, stitched up through the nail 9 times, hyper sensitive, throbbing

...ugggghhh...need I say more?

I will post a picture of it...will you be okay with that?

We're in this together after all right?

Ok...here it goes...

Nasty huh?

Did I mention my fingers are all stiffening and I might have to have physical therapy later down the road, and I've had to keep my hand above my heart for the last 288 hours and counting?

The good news? Yes, there's always good news and a bright side ...

Today is opening day for football and it just so happens to be my five year anniversary for quitting smoking! I have not smoked a single cigarette in five years! I will never smoke cigarettes again and trust me, if I didn't start in the last eleven days, I never will.

How did I remember that? I didn't. QuitNet Email Service reminded me.

And, today I am getting acquainted with my left hand. So far, as you can see I can type with my left hand. Not 90 wpm like with both, but, I hack away at it.

I can almost carry hot tea with confidence, but not really.

I can feed myself as long as there is no meat cutting or spaghetti twirling.

I have limitations. That's okay. I have pain. That's okay too, for now.

I have to figure out a new way of doing most of the things we take for granted.

Showering for instance. Try holding your right hand, sealed in plastic - virtually useless - above your heart, nay! above your head for the duration of the shower (do not get it wet!). Now wash up. Soap in face cloth, lather, put soap down, (no cheating...and if you don't drop the soap you are cheating! Ah, no problem right?

What about your left arm?

Trust me. It ain't easy.

Neither is brushing your teeth, getting dressed, brushing/drying/washing your hair, putting on makeup or plucking your eyebrows (which I have not even tried). I can't imagine putting on mascara with my left hand.

Oh, and my poor house is getting messy. Jim is working, coaching, sleeping, there's little time for chores, but he chips in. It's just not the same and it won't be for some time to come.

Did I mention that people notice the bandaged middle finger ... I guess it's odd.

This finger is going to take a while to heal. I just don't want to lose more time than I've already lost. My stitches are supposed to come out on Wednesday, but from what I see, no way. Not yet.

Either way, patience is the order of the day. And writing important stuff on the calendar, lest we forget. Oh yeah, I miss writing too.