No New Thank You

My bones are still tired from all of the "Spring cleaning" I did yesterday. I could see the day coming off in the distance for weeks before it got here. I could see it and I could hear it. It would say "gotta clean out my closet", "gotta put away the winter clothes and take out the summer clothes", "gotta straighten out the linen closet", "gotta do the floors (all of them)" "gotta wash the windows", "gotta go through the drawers and under the sinks", etc., etc.

Suffice to say that mostly all of it got done and today I feel my age. I'm moving a little bit slower than I was yesterday. Nothing a few days of yoga can't fix if I can squeeze it in. Lately, I've not had the time to do it 'all' so yoga has suffered and so have I. I have made it to the park though and out of all of the things that I do, that one seems to be the most important. I must take time out to reflect and exercise and walk in the park. It centers me as does meditation and yoga and cleaning, as it turns out. The ritual of cleaning and organizing and reducing clutter and waste...it is important to me. It's necessary. And I'm really okay with it. I've been asked several times to hire someone to come and clean my house and I did it when I broke my arm a short 10 months ago, and it was helpful. But I'm so much better now and I can do it myself and I need to do it myself. I'm not just surface cleaning...I'm going through everything. Eventually, like my life, I hope to have no clutter.

Yesterday I realized that over the course of my life, I've accumulated a lot of 'stuff'. Stuff that I really don't need so as they say 'out with the old'.

As far as 'in with the new' ... no. No new thank you. I'm making space once again (unless we're talking about shoes, then - okay, let's see 'em - shoes make me feel good)!

It felt so great waking up and realizing that finally all of 'those' chores that called to me from afar were now ghosts. Quite an accomplishment and a good feeling. I'm interested in good feelings lately...the more the merrier. I mean, you "gotta" clean right? But you gotta have fun too!

Life is so fragile and short. "In this world ye shall have tribulations, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” Jesus said that in John 16:33.

Simplify so that you have less worries about less important things.

Joy and laughter come easier to those with less worries. How can joy emanate from a worrisome soul right?

Don't get me wrong. We all go through life's most amazing challenges. We all struggle with chores, with work, with family, school, bills. We're not unique in this way.

We're unique in how we overcome these challenges. Being positive is underrated. Being truthful is underrated. Being healthy and fit is underrated as is being spiritual or Godly.

The Dalai Lama was here recently. He says things are improving. I am also hopeful and pray that the world becomes happier and in turn, we become kinder to one another.

We can all afford to clean up our acts a little bit, inside and out, be better, smile more. Don't you think?

There are a few more things I see in the distance coming into my reality. I can hear them too. They're saying things like "what about the garage", "what about the basement"?, "what about the "OTHER" closet"??? Yeah, I still have some work to do. But today?

Today is Sunday. A day historically, symbolically and spiritually expressed in giving praise to God and resting. The former I do constantly, and the latter well, I shall begin after these very next key strokes.

Be love, be light and while there is still breath in your lungs, get out there and have fun!

(This post was written last week...I haven't been posting because I'm having difficulty posting pictures and I'm frustrated not being able to do that...suffice to say, I posted this because it's better to post without pictures than not to post at all).

love love love

I Cherish The Day

I cherish the day and deep breaths that I find myself taking.

I feel like I've been working non-stop, and it's such good work that I can't and won't complain. Truth be told, I have nothing to complain about and why should I be looking for something to complain about? I'm healthy, I'm working, I'm prayerful, I'm alive...funny how our society can be so bitter that we look for the problems instead of the blessings.

If we spent more time focused on blessings and light, we wouldn't even notice or realize that there were any problems. I've been working my whole life on one thing or another, but I don't think I've ever enjoyed it more now. Perspective perhaps.

God knew what I needed way before I did because I landed in quite a sweet spot. I really do have what I have because God has given it to me. I will always give God the glory for all things in my life, good and maybe not so good. Bad? Nah. Challenges? Yes, definitely. Some seem quite insurmountable, "seem" being the operative word here.

Things are always only what they 'seem' to be, so why shouldn't I see them as moveable?

I believe that all things are possible through Christ, through the light of God, through the universal life force energy that we are, so I believe that nothing is impossible.

I realize with that thought process, it's much easier to 'cherish the day'. Most people do not think this way I've come to find and I'm not quite sure why not, but speaking only for myself, I do have a large amount of faith in that which I cannot see.

Scripture says that to each a portion shall be given and I think it's important to respect that portion and develop it into more. So, through my portion of faith I truly believe that I can make a difference. I truly believe that I can manifest anything that I want if I work hard enough at it and if God is in it and for it. If God be for me, who (or what) can be against me?

In my life, I can testify that if God was in it - my path was made straight and direct. Sometimes miraculously so, especially with this most recent acquisition of blessings in my life. Just a humble job, but is there really any such thing?

Perspective.

For me, I imagine it, envision it, feel and sense it - it's there if I want it to be - the possibility that is and when I focus on that and play with that - the universe and God get in line with it and bless my circumstances to bring that which I am manifesting into reality. Can you hear me?

The rest? Well, there are many parameters when it comes to the power of attraction but let's just say that if you need a friend, and you envision a friend, and you pray for a friend, you just might get one.

I overcome and I learn so much about myself in the process of dreaming, hoping, growing and learning some hard life lessons. I've always had growing pains, I've been here before and I'll be here again as long as I have the desire to be the best I can be in my spirit first, my mind second and my body last, but certainly not least (and I know that on some level all things are equal).

I realize that refining is a continual process and because things have changed so drastically for me in my personal life recently, I know from experience and living this faith filled life that there is so much more that I can't see that I'm growing into, that I'm manifesting, that God is giving to me.

I believe in balance. I won't be afraid.

Life is what you make of it.

Light The Way

I took a long ride recently with some good friends down to West Virginia. It was a fun trip although the weather was horrendous. We've had so much rain here in New Jersey and we thought if we went south it would be better. It wasn't.

It pretty much rained the whole time we were there, but on the way back home, this appeared in the sky.

Coincidence? I doubt it very highly. I see rainbows everywhere all the time. Rainbows, shooting stars, miraculous wonders of God's mercies and love reminding me that I am not alone, there is hope, there is an amazing power source available to all if they only embrace it.

I am living my life embracing that which brings light and illumines and I saw this as a direct sign to my heavy heart.

You know I've had a rough time of it, who hasn't? But, I'm looking forward toward that which guides me toward righteousness, love, peace, kindness, calmness, humbleness, even-mindedness, balance, centerdness and I'm hoping that this sign is the beginning of things turning around for the better.

Change is at the door.

I have a new job. I am considering moving, where? I'm not sure yet. I am considering changing just about everything in my life - except - my foundation. My love of God, and my love of love will never change. Or at least I should say, if it does change it shall change for the better. With God and love there is always growth and healing - the kind of change we embrace even if it hurts a little bit...after all, when the rain stops and the sun comes out, amazing things can happen.




This light that shines is not just for me, it is for you too. I can see it in your eyes if I look closely enough and I pray that you can see it mine.


Genesis 9:13
I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Inner Pearl

Here I sit trying to decide just how much of my inner pearl I want to share with you. Life, it seems, has thrown me another curve ball to deal with, this one having to do with more emotion than one person should have to handle.

Interesting since working with energy has so much to do with emotion. As soon as I became involved with Reiki, unresolved emotions from my past, fears and concerns about my future and the present unsettled moment kept coming into focus. The time to clean house had come whether I welcomed it or not. This was a good thing, though at the time, quite gut wrenching.

I dealt with all of it, so I thought.

The lessons I should've learned from some past similar experiences have come around full circle. Truly, what goes around comes around. Even if you try your hardest, sometimes somethings are coming for you and they're going to hit you squarely so take them when they come so as to avoid repeat fire.

I've taken this one squarely.

I'm still standing and I'm emotionally wounded, but I'm beginning to heal and move forward. It may look like I'm standing still, but if you look closely you will see that progress is being made.

What is the elephant in the room you ask? Well, I really don't want to get into specifics, but I will say that trust is something that I value, that and truth now more than ever.

I feel that I am a very trustworthy person. I have been known to say that I am a safe bet. Why? Because I know the value of the truth. It's priceless. When no one else will speak the truth - when the whole world has convinced itself that to lie is better than honesty - I will be there saying 'hell no'. I can't help it. I'm not even known to sugar coat. Personally, I think I've gotten better at it - telling the truth that is.

Perhaps when I was younger I needed to express 'my' truth - even at the expense of other people's feelings. I've since learned to be more sensitive than that. I was young and learning. Now, I'm seasoned and have had enough of life's experiences to know that the truth can set you free and really hurt - so be gentle with it - but, speak it at all costs.

Which brings me to trust.

One of my favorite things to tell my cat Cricket, a.k.a. Crispy Whispy, is that she is 'safe, loved and protected'. I tell her that because she clearly has anxiety at times from some kitten hood trauma she had experienced before I rescued her. I've had to convince her for the past ten years that she's safe. She's loved. She's protected. She's starting to trust me I think after all these years, but she still has a lot of anxiety. I've had to build a relationship of trust with her. I work really hard at it. My heart breaks for her since it's such a deep rooted emotion for her not to trust.

I can so relate to that. I've had my share of disappointments as it pertains to my relationships. I had to learn to trust again. Which I did. Until now. Again.

Now, I'm going inside where there's stillness, and quiet and clarity and remembering what Jesus said about humanity and that He knew what was in 'us'. I think He was speaking of the fact that sometimes people will let you down and take your trust and make you regret giving it away. Let's be clear. It is a risk - trusting. Where I come from anyway.

It is a risk but one that I am willing to take. I believe in myself and in the core values that make me who I am. I believe in faith, in trust, in truth, in love.

My eyes, however, are wide open. I've seen enough in my humble life to know that not everyone has your best interest at heart. Sometimes, you have to figure things out for yourself. Protect yourself. Make sure that you are loved, safe and protected, by yourself! I trust me. I am a sure and safe bet. I will not let me down.

That is a good place to start. Again.

'Try Reiki' Dr. Oz tells millions on TV

This is too incredible not to post. I've only posted a few times in the past several months, and here I go posting twice in one day. Go figure.

This story was forwarded to me yesterday from a Reiki website. By the way and co-incidentally, Dr. Oz successfully performed open heart surgery on my dad several years ago and before he had his show. I remember shaking his hand at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York, he glowed as most surgeons do.

Check this out ----->

Dr. Mehmet Oz, a renowned cardiovascular surgeon and host of the third (or possibly second) most popular syndicated television program in America, this week introduced millions of viewers to the natural healing practice of Reiki as part of a program on alternative and natural remedies. The Dr. Oz Show included not only a segment featuring a demonstration by Reiki author Pamela Miles, but an emphatic recommendation to "try Reiki" as the #1 "Oz's Order" at the show's conclusion.

In a related (and unsurprising) development, the audience member who received a brief Reiki chair session from Miles told Oz and his viewers (an estimated 3.5 million people) after only a few minutes of Reiki that her headache was going away.

By week's end, the Reiki segment of the show had made its way to YouTube, where it found even more viewers. Click here to see it for yourself.

Oz, whose wife, Lisa, is a Reiki Master, called Reiki "my favorite treatment that could change the future of medicine forever." Reiki was the last of an assortment of featured alternative remedies, including mud baths, herbal remedies, aromatherapy, yoga, saunas, and cupping.

"If we put cupping in the hybrid category between biomanipulation and energy," Oz said as the Reiki segment began, "It provides me with a good segue to what I think may be ultimately the most important alternative medicine treatment of all. And we are embarking on this whole new vista of opportunities, it broadens dramatically the spectrum of where we might be able to go in our bodies, and this is the area of energy medicine." At that point, the camera pulled back to reveal Pamela Miles and the audience member.

"And joining me today is Pamela Miles," Oz continued. "Pamela has actually been to the operating room with me where we have done Reiki. He pointed out that, like Pamela, "my wife Lisa is a Reiki master, so when the kids get sick, or when I'm out of sorts, she actually comes by, I can't even tell when she's treating me, sometimes she secretly treats me, if she thinks I'm in a bad mood" -- everyone laughed -- "and I see hands moving around, but I actually feel the heat."

As the session began, Oz asked Pamela to explain a little about Reiki.

"Reiki is a balancing practice," she said. "And so rather than addressing the headache or whatever else is the problem, what it does is it influences the person's overall system toward balance, and then as her system becomes more balanced, symptoms tend to fall away. Then over time, for example, if you get headaches, you may find that you get them less frequently."

"Do you feel anything?" Oz asked the Reiki recipient.

"Yes, my headache's going away," she said.

"Let me show you why I think energy has been overlooked," Oz continued, turning to reveal a large microscopic image. "This is an image of a cell. And it's beautiful, isn't it? You see that cell there, and it looks colorful, and look at the blue pattern on the outside. That's the membrane of the cell. That blue area on the outside differentiates life. Because it separates no energy on the outside from energy that's present on the inside. So if you think about it in that way, if the membrane of a cell keeps an energy balance between inside and outside, which is what defines life, if we put those cells together, into an organ, shouldn't the organ have energy? And if you put those organs into a body, shouldn't our bodies have energy? And so many of the ailments that we suffer from can be treated through energy therapies, which will become become much more prevalent over the next few years."

At the show's conclusion, Oz did his usual "Oz's Orders" segment: "Here are the three things I want you to remember from today's show. First off, try Reiki. This alternative medicine treatment can manipulate your energy and cure what ails you." And he recommended that viewers boost their metabolisms and check their blood pressure. "Those are my doctor's orders."

*** www.thereikidigest.com

Beauty For Ashes

As far as blogging goes, I've not been great at posting on a regular basis. It's not that I don't have the time or that I don't have something to say, I do most days. I guess life just gets complicated and my attention can only move towards that which gives me energy on a more immediate basis. Don't get me wrong, I love this blog and I'm amazed at how much I've changed since the first entry. I am definetly not what I used to be, but then again who is?

This blog is a testament to my life or at least what I choose to share about it. You must know that I keep really personal stuff close to the cuff because being completely transparent scares me, but what I learn I usually do try and share. I'd like to think that that's what my life is about or at least that's what this blog is about, learning and sharing, but there are so many people 'out there' that are not listening so I wonder sometimes what the point is?

Have you ever felt like that? Like no ones listening? Sure they hear, but the deep understanding that brings change, healing and life...is that message falling on deaf ears?

I mean, humanity has learned so much on this planet and we're still at war with one another. We war on all levels. When we're not out and out killing one another with weapons we're killing each other with lies and deception. What becomes of all this?

Scripture says God will give us beauty for ashes, but there are just too many ashes wouldn't you say? At some point, wouldn't God say "Okay, people! I thought each of you might burn one thing and sense the destruction and forever banish the burning"! "I thought you would learn from each other's mistakes". "But you've chosen to make bon fires four times a day to destroy that which I have built up, get behind me Satan!"

We've made sport of it now.

Destruction for destruction's sake?

Are our hands dirty?

Is anything sacred anymore?

Well, of course the answer is yes, but you have to search for it sometimes. God, and the peace that transcends all understanding, is something you must earnestly search for. You must be in attendance, in prayer, in contemplation, in silence, in stillness so that when the trials and tribulations of this lifetime come clearly into focus, you can stand firm on your foundation of truth and not waiver in the sight of such confusion.

Beauty for ashes? Of course. If you think hard enough you will see that your life has always been about that.

OM Namah Shivaya

Truth. Simplicity. Love and Service to all sentient beings.

This is the message that has come to me through the Bhagavad Gita. God, it seems, has many roads leading to him/her. God, and the great cosmic consciousness has purposed it this way.

The Bhagavad Gita was brought to my attention years ago by a star that shined on this planet for a very short time. Her name was Dina Certrulo and while she was here, she and I were friends and she taught me about things along the lines of divinity, spirituality, the Tao and Hinduism. She was probably the only person that I ever came in contact with that shared with me in this way. If it weren't for Dina, I wouldn't be leaning in this direction. Because of her safe and valued opinion I am forging ahead. She was wise beyond her years and generous with her knowledge. I would only hope to be as kind.

I have been hungry for these things forever and they very rarely fall on deaf ears with me. I'm always paying acute attention. I am aware. I am present. I am being. I am in the now.

This is revealing. It is liberating. It is cosmic.

Not just in theory. The very nature of spirituality is to take you from yourself, your 'so-called' circumstances and illuminate the magnificence in and of your life.

This year has been a year of karmic cleansing for me. The beginning of 09 was all about my throat chakra and how I was not living my authentic truth. I allowed someone to bully me. I am 46 human years young and I allowed myself to be bullied.

It was not empowering like when I was younger and had more control over the situation. This time, as karma came around, I was not prepared, caught off guard and holding my tongue in the name of 'doing the right thing' or 'taking the higher road'. I suppose for some, peace works like that, but for me communication is the key. Without saying the words "hey, that hurts" the hurt can never heal. On the contrary, the hurt festers until it becomes something entirely different, something much worse. No. Nip it in the bud. That's my new mantra on speaking the truth and living your authentic truth. Look people right in the face and with as much love as you can muster, tell them exactly what you think. Do not be spiteful, judgemental, cruel or sarcastic. Just speak the truth.

"That hurt."

or

"Please do not treat me that way, it makes me feel badly and it is very hurtful."

"If you knew how much I loved you, you could never treat me this way".

Choose your own words, but speak them, out loud, in love, into the ether, into the cosmos, outside of yourself so that God and the Universe can hear you and know that you've worked through your karma and can speak on your own behalf in truth, simplicity, love and service to all sentient beings.

Then I broke my arm. My heart was broken.

What does my arm have to do with my heart?

Well, I was on my way, so I thought, doing Reiki, helping people, giving lectures and .... then ... I had the cast and you know the rest. I was incapacitated up until very recently. It took the rest of 2009 and shoved it right into a plaster disaster. Not to make light of it, but why not. That was then and look at me now, typing close to 90 wpm and doing my hair and taking care of business and giving my biggest lecture of the year at MSU.

Bones heal way quicker than hearts.

My wrist still hurts but when it hurts I do not fall to my knees weeping.

I do not become incapacitated and depressed.

It is just healing and now I know what a healing bone feels like.

In retrospect, I also know what a healing heart feels like.

It's just about the same thing.

It's when we become attached to the outcome...we become attached to the reciprocity of love and when we don't get it...what then? The bones hurt? The bones break? The heart hurts? The heart breaks? I've learned it is better to not be attached to the outcome of love, or bones. To the outcome of life or death. A broken heart should never happen, even though you love with all that you are. Love with no expectation of getting anything in return and then ... when you do not receive love ... you will not be dis-appointed.

I just went to Shop rite and checked out at the express lane because I only had a few items. A beautiful, young, African-American male was working the register. I asked him "How are you? They're not getting the best of you are they?" and he just smiled. I said "I never let them get the best of me" and I looked straight at him. He returned my glance smiling and contemplating.

What I was referring to was the negativity, the monotony, the hatred, the sarcasm, the ill-will, all the negativity that there is in the world that would keep us from living our authentic truths, our authentic lives, the best us that we are in the world and in the cosmos ... no, they will never get the best of me in that way. I will love them though and I will love you despite all of those obstacles and I can only pray that all at once they would fall by the wayside and make way for truth, simplicity, love and service to all sentient beings.

He checked me out and handed me my bags and said looking right at me "I will never forget what you said". I replied "Good. It's important to remember" and I left the both of us smiling.

No, my throat and my heart chakras are healthy now, spining brilliantly on their axis, shining, like the planets, the universe and the cosmos and the karma has been worked through. I will speak my authentic truth, I will lead with my heart with no expectations or reservations. I will live my life in Truth, Simplicity, Love and service to all sentient beings (and firstly, to myself - this I have learned).

Next stop, Babaji.

OM Namah Shivaya.

I bow to whatever good is happening and to whomever is doing it.

We are the Flowers of One Garden

Just gave back to back lectures at Bergen Community College, and I thought yesterday was a great day. I can not express how sweet it is for me to be able to share Reiki with these young, beautiful minds. It is a blessing to sow these humble seeds. I am very grateful.

And, I don't know about you, but I am so in love with this life and working towards figuring out some divine mysteries like... Angels themselves, l i f e in general for a spiritual being having a human experience, enlightenment, consciousness and intention, a deeper walk with God, healing that really helps people on all levels, the Light of God, deep love - the very love of God, compassion for others, and forgiveness or as Buddha would say - forget-ness, just to name a few. Reiki is and has been a very useful tool to use in the effort to help elevate and ascend humankind in some of these ways...oh, and I help myself as well. The light of Reiki - the Universal Life Force Energy of Reiki - which comes from our creator - permeates everything. It makes paths where once there were blockages and can therefore, make room for truth, light, and endless possibilities. After all, we live in a world filled with a sea of potential. If we could only imagine it...then perhaps we could see it and it could exist.

Angels lie in waiting for such happenings.

And, I have other ways that I want to help humankind. I really love this planet and all the life on it. I can't walk through my local park without wanting to cry sometimes from the sheer beauty of it and it's just a local park. Nature, plants, animals, the ocean and sea creatures - birds...all of it. It is a gift from God and in an effort to honor that gift I try not to litter and waste energy, I shut lights and utilities off when I'm not using them, I recycle and try really hard not to waste food.

Trust me though, I have a long way to go. The lease on our SUV isn't up for another two years so....that one will have to wait. But I am mindful of at least trying.

Which brings me to Kiribati. A very small sliver if of an island on the other side of the planet in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It's existence is in peril, the sea level is rising due to climate changes (whether you believe in global warming or not). They are struggling to keep their homes, their lives and their heritage.

Imagine not being able to continue in your quest for life because the ocean was going to consume your home, your property, your neighborhood. Forever. This is not a flood that subsides. There is no where to go. There is no higher ground. Imagine that? I can't (I have had nightmares about it though - I pray they're not prophetic). They say in 40 years Kiribati may be completely gone. Perhaps sooner.

And we think we have problems.

Those poor people --- right?

Wrong!

We are those poor people. We couldn't possibly think that their plight doesn't directly effect us or vice versa. Here in New Jersey I am just a stones throw away from what we call 'pharmaceutical row' and then there are nearby chemical plants of some kind, fuel tanks tucked in, and landfills. We've got it all and all of this

... could this be causing the people of Kiribati to be the first in a long line of possible extinction?

Really? That is scary.

We are the stewards of this planet and we have the power to change our minds, change our lives, change our government, change our policies. We can make changes that prevent these things from happening. We must do our part.

Like Roz Savage. She is trying to become to first woman to row solo across the Pacific Ocean in an effort to bring recognition to global warming. That's amazing! She's sailing solo - across the ocean - in a sail boat. God speed Roz!

She has inspired me to post this video and to think about more ways in which I can cut back my contributions to this epidemic. I hope it does the same for you. God bless these people. God bless this planet.

Walking The Straight Path

Today is a great day. Indeed, I usually say that about most days, unless something terrible has happened and even then, I'm learning to see that that too is a great day. I feel really well. In fact, my wrist is doing things I haven't done in months and I am gratefully relieved.

I'm exercising, doing yoga and getting back to what I would consider normal and that is what I'm all about and today I felt the best I've felt in months. I know I'm starting to repeat myself, but I cannot over emphasize this seeing as how it took everything I had in me to get back to this place. Giving up was not an option and honestly, the hard work is paying off. It always does.

And my journey? It continues but on a much deeper and yet somehow lighter level. I wanted to get to the next level. I called this all into existence...this and some other things that I shall not mention. But let's just say be careful what you think about, what you wish for, what you call into existence because ultimately it will fall right in your lap and if you don't know what to do with it...you surely will find out and let's hope you're a fast learner.

I've been a fast learner and yes, lessons do repeat themselves if you don't learn them the first time. You see them coming from a mile away but it's too late. You're smack dab in the middle of it shaking your head wondering how you got there. But sanity speaks to the soul and says...you...you brought yourself here. It has always been that way and it always will be that way.

So....where do you want to go? Or, better question...where are you? Are you okay where you are or do you need to make some navigational changes about where you're heading?

Don't be afraid to make changes. You're supposed to.

Like...becoming more conscious about our choices and our decisions. Things don't just randomly happen to us. Typically. Sure, very occasionally a meteor will fall from the sky and hit someone's house, but other than that, we've created the lives we have. This is not random. And when I say 'the lives we have', I mean the way you feel about your life is entirely up to you. Many things are outside of your ability to manipulate them because there are other people involved, but for the most part, you can speak great joy and triumph into your circumstances with your beliefs alone.

If you believe something can get better, it can. It's that simple. On the other hand, if you believe that it cannot, well, that is also true...it cannot.

Which mindset would you rather embrace? For me personally, you already know. I will not settle for less.

It can always get better and with a lot of hard work, it can get best.

So, my arm is going to be completely whole. It already is, I just haven't crossed that day yet. It is in the not too distant future because I have called it into being and just as I am back to typing 90 wpm with very little effort, doing yoga and working towards a 90 degree angle in my wrist, this too shall pass.

That being said, I'm going to try to be a little more careful about what I'm calling into being. No more broken bones. No more hand surgery or any other surgery for that matter. I can appreciate pain, long-suffering, healing, patience, and a whole list of virtues now that perhaps I hadn't in the past. Please God, continue to make my path straight, straight into the Light of your will.

Solution or Problem?

My hand therapist Lynn has a very wonderful job. She meets people from all walks of life and she never has to leave her office. Her office is inside Optimum Orthopedics in the middle of a huge therapy room. There are people getting stretched on massage tables, people being instructed on exercise equipment, some people are rolling medicine balls up and down the hallway and some people are doing stretches and squats in random open spots - tons of activity going on.


And then there's us, the hand therapy people.


3, 4 sometimes 5 of us at a time sitting in Lynn's 'office' which is really just a big table and with chairs. The table has what looks like pre-school tools and toys; a box filled with rice, pairs and pairs of scissors, silly putty in not just neon yellow and but neon orange as well, dodge balls but of course they're for hand stretching not head pummeling. What else? Put it this way, this is occupational therapy 101 and if you need to use it in real life, there's a good chance it's on that table or nearby, and a good chance you will be using it.



It's going really well and I thoroughly enjoy going there. The place is huge, with wall to wall windows and sun light flooding in. The therapists and assistants are sweet and always smiling and I can't deny the progress I'm making. Lynn is a very straight-forward person and tells it like it is. She is tiny but strong and pushes you harder than you expect. She laughs easily but then snaps right back into her professional posture taking what she does seriously. I couldn't have designed a better or healthier environment for me to respond to positively.


This, by the way, was not the first place I went to. The first place I went to was in the basement of an old house. It looked antiquated on the inside and out. I'm pretty sure they didn't even have computers behind the desks as I could hear someone typing away in the distance on what distinctly sounded like a standard old fashioned typewriter.


As soon as I got inside the building, I had a feeling that this place was not the place - but it was the place - so I continued.


I was on time for my appointment but yet caused to wait twenty minutes before being brought down deeper inside the belly of this beast. The ceilings were low and there seemed to be many rooms off of the main which was really small. There was some exercise equipment but only one older woman using any of it with a young man assisting her. I did happen to notice all the blinds were pulled on the windows - so - only fluorescent lighting for this facility and it's clients.


I was asked to sit and wait in an office for another 10 minutes. There were a few things that bothered me about this. I had already waited for 20 minutes, what could possibly be the hold up for a new patient in a facility with only one person rehabbing? As I sat there I was reminded of all the interviews I had given and received while working in corporate America. I loathed sitting in there waiting for whomever it was that was making me wait - and oh, could it be the guy that I can see when I look out the office doorway to my left sitting with his back to me? No. It couldn't be. What is he doing? Paperwork? Hmmm. No, can't be him. Tick. Tick.


Get me the hell out of this office was what was going through my head. This is not the right place for me - but it was - so I waited.


Finally, I sense movement to my left and sure enough, he gets up as if no one's waiting for him and as nonchalantly as he was sitting there, strolled on into his office and put his right hand out and introduced himself saying his name which immediately flew at the speed of light into one ear and directly out the other because among other things, I can't shake hands. I reach out with my left and introduce myself only to hear him say . . .


"What's the matter? You don't use your right hand to shake when you meet someone?"


Don't I?


I thought "is this guy kidding me'? 'I've travelled all over the United States of America as a Corporate Executive and this guy insults me in the first millisecond of our meeting'? No he did not. The gall.


I tried hard not to put my mean, business face on but it was too late for that.

"If you had read my file, you would know that I broke my right wrist and can't shake your hand or any one else's for that matter"! I replied.

He said nothing as he began to read my file, while yet again, I waited. Then after very little examination and discussion, he escorted me to a tiny, stall-like room and put my hand into a dry, hot-air, sandy-sauna thingy that I actually enjoyed at the time since my hand was so swollen and painful. He then, you guessed it, left me alone for another 10 minutes.

After the machine shut itself off, there I sat. Alone in the stall-like room with no instruction which gave me time to look around - and plan my escape. I realized I didn't really see too much activity in the way of 'others' being healed and mended or even shown the road to recovery. Where was everybody? Why was this place empty? I already know the answer to that so what am I still doing here?

I wanted to walk, no run. And I began to gather my things and just then the older woman's instructor caught me and asked me where I was going. I said I was going to leave. But he said to be patient so I sat there because I thought this was the way physical therapy was or in my case, occupational therapy was.

The rest of that session was just as bad as the beginning and I obviously took my business elsewhere but not before realizing some hard truths. Healthy people sometimes have a tough time choosing between what's good for them and not. They sometimes make bad choices.

Unhealthy people have an even harder time when they're vulnerable. If my husband hadn't had a complete hip replacement, I would not have a point of reference when it comes to physical therapy. But I do. And when I told him my experience, he was floored and very direct. He said I will not be going back there. I didn't argue, I just made different arrangements to go to Optimum.

The difference, it turns out, was like night and day immediately and I knew that was all that mattered. I was not going to get well in the first place I went. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was literally in the wrong place. Eventually, I might've gained some range of motion back, but not because the therapist gave me exercises, but because of my determination. That being said, we sometimes need help; good, godly help to get us through our rough patches. That's why I practice Reiki. People need tender, loving care when they're suffering. They do not need to have insult added to injury. It's not necessary and it's completely unacceptable.

Find your voices and tell the systems that they are not working, if they're not. Tell them they are, if they are. Why not be honest? What have we got to lose besides ourselves?

I'm not willing to lose anything else. I've lost time. I've lost blood. I've lost control. I've lost range of motion. Sure, some of those things I cannot get back, but looking forward, I'll be more inclined to hang onto them a little longer, a little tighter...perhaps I'm a little smarter for having gone through such loses. I can only hope that I've learned a powerful lesson in pain, suffering, loss and let's not forget the most important...recovery.

There is recovery. There is healing. There is light and there is hope. Make sure your yoking up with that which resonates on the inside of you as well as the outside. I knew I was in the wrong place. My intuition was screaming. But God works all things together for me because I love Him and He ALLOWED that situation to occur to open my eyes even further to the business machine of healing that exists in this country.

I am not all about that. I am about giving comfort, giving assistance, giving in general to those that are in need physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I've been on both sides. I've needed help. Let me rephrase that....I've needed some serious help. And I've received it. Thank God.

What are you in need of? Where are you looking for what you need? Do you have a good point of reference or are you shooting at the hip? Be careful. You deserve the best this life has to offer. Do not settle for less. If you know in your heart of hearts that something is off, trust me, something is off and that inner voice that warns you is more important to listen to than the one that talks you out of it and says 'meh, this is just how it is'. No. No it's not. You make it how it is.

I make it how it is. It's my reality. It's my choice. It's my body. It's my life. So, you're either part of the solution or part of the problem. Which will you be?