It's a Beautiful Day

When you wake up in the morning, I hope you realize that your life is starting all over again. With every awakening you are that much closer but you are also getting a mulligan. You are getting a chance to do it all over again, better, wiser, stronger and more confidently than the day before. Hopefully you are keeping notes and remembering and forgetting all at the same time. Hopefully you are not judging tomorrow because of yesterday. Hopefully you are living in today and not tomorrow. Hopefully you are present breathing in the here and now of it all, and when you close your eyes to sleep and rest, you do just that. You rest and renew and restore so that in the brand new shinyness of the morning you too can shine. That's what mornings are for. That's who mornings are for.

Have you ever noticed that most mornings start off with a huge bang? Sure they're mostly quiet and serene except for that explosive ball of firey, eye-blinding light in the sky. It is far from quiet and serene yet we gain a sense of calm from it. On the contrary, our sun is pure fire burning, endlessly flaring and exploding, forever cascading heat and warmth, growth, light, and yet a constant miraculous, mysterious comfort. What should we make of this? Well, we should probably at the least be 'all in' when we wake up in the morning. Pay attention tomorrow when you wake up. Are you replaying what happened last night, yesterday, last week, or heaven forbid, last year? Are you waking up replaying all your failures and failed efforts only to feel defeated before your feet even touch the floor? Is your all consuming fire full of the desire to warm, grow, light and comfort the world or is your all consuming fire just about out and smoldering in ashes? Perhaps it's time for some self evaluation. Perhaps you need to go outside and sit in the sunshine and ponder it's existence, let it warm you and coax you into a growth spurt. Perhaps a little poderance of life's mysteries is called for.

With every day that passes and with every morning my eyes open, I am amazed at the reality that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am definetly not where I was yesterday and I have no idea where I will be tomorrow. I do not have my life figured out so definitively as of yet. I used to. I used to have big plans steeped in my desires but plans change just like the weather especially when your plans include other people. Sometimes people change their minds. The constant though, is the creator. I am the constant creator in my life and I can destroy and create my reality at will.

That's my current realization.

It took a nudge from my Qi-gong healer to get my psyche to let go of the dread conditioning that unfortunately permeates everything and most everyone lately. I had my feet planted firmly in defeat and didn't even realize it. In my most recent session, I acted like a spoiled child who couldn't see that the cookies were right there in front of me. I couldn't see the cookies were right there in front of me because my eyes were closed shut. I was unable to grasp the notion that the cookies were RIGHT THERE. Why? Because I had allowed myself to believe that 'this was as good as it gets'. What a bunch of rubbish.

It wasn't until the appointed time when my healer worked his 'magic' that I could see clearly again. The reset button didn't exist prior to that session in my mind. It absolutely existed though, I mean, we live in a Universe of abundance and infinite possibilities but I couldn't or wouldn't be open to it...yet. 
However, once the illumination began, the scales fell from my eyes, the weight lifted, I had a renewed sense of life and possibilities. Right before that though - all's I could say was 'No!, No!, No!' Silly little girl.

How is it that someone like me who is on a quest for light and Spirit and all things God, be sound asleep?

Well, I'm not really. The truth is I am on a quest.

God knows what I seek and He also knows what I need to know. As I wake up every morning I have a sincere desire to be better than I was yesterday, to honor the light and love and God inside of me, to honor all of that in all of you, and to be the best I can be. God knows that. The Angels know that. The Universe knows that. All of us are conspiring to make all of this happen. What I desire I am a magnet to. All that I concentrate on becomes larger. Therefore, all that I seek I will find. It's the most basic of effective equations but you have to be open to the answers. Please don't assume you have anything figured out. Once you do that you are putting sleeping pills in your mouth and then you're sleepwalking, talking and making sense to only everyone else who is asleep, but the truly present know better. They recognize a sleeping human. If invited, they gently nudge them awake, give them a shot of sunshine and promise them that the blue skies are real and so are the butterflies.

Life is magical.

Don't fall back to sleep and believe that it's all doom and gloom. Would a butterfly ever come out of its cocoon if anyone ever told it that?

I am in awe of this life, this hollogram, this human experience as Spirit. I am thrilled that God has graced this Spirit with a body to navigate this dimension. (There are many dimensions my friends.) I am a very curious being and I have learned to unlearn everything I've ever known about this life and I have been reset back to core which is child-like bliss, curiosity, creation, love, kindness, playfullness, and mysteriousness. You wanna play?

If I'm Smart

Spiritually speaking, I am in the desert, so just now when I heard the rain, I ran to the door.  I stepped outside and stood under the awning listening as the rain became heavier and heavier.  I thought of the many people that instinctively avoid the rain by dashing in between drops, grabbing umbrellas and running for cover.  I felt the mist on my bare legs as I stood there in my t-shirt and shorts.  That's when it occurred to me.

When was the last time I deliberately stood in the pouring rain without any concern for getting soaking wet?

I could remember a time, years ago, when an old acquaintance and I went jogging in the rain.  It was his preference.  He loved it and wanted me to share in that love, so I joined him.  It was fun and exciting and pretty romantic.  I realized today that that was way too long ago, so I did the only natural thing.  I took two steps forward and left the shelter of my awning.  I stood in the pouring rain, facing the sky, hands held high.  The rain got heavier and heavier and as I began to get soaked, I asked God to do a few things for me.

I felt the warmth of the ground underneath my bare feet.  I felt the back of my Rejoice t-shirt becoming soaked with water and as it touched my back, the coolness was refreshing and shocking all at once.  We've had a bit of a heat wave here in NJ for the past several days, and I felt as parched as the atmosphere, the grass, the trees, and my potted plants that I've been so desperately trying to keep hydrated.  Without water, of course, they would perish, as their water source either comes from the sky, a human, or it just doesn't come at all.  The grass goes into hibernation, the trees, somehow, withstand the cold, the heat, droughts.  Trees amaze me with their fortitude and strength.  Potted plants, however, need the potters attention, love, nourishment and care.  I am that potter and I care for what is mine very much.  Maybe when it comes to me though, I lose touch.  After all, I am not the potter of myself.  Someone, something, has potted me, has allowed me this life, this breath, this moment, and if in this moment I am withering, it is the Master Potter who needs to tend to me.

I asked God to take away my pain and sadness.  I asked God to wash me clean and let all the impurities pour into the ground, into Mother Earth, and be reborn as something better.  I stood in the rain and asked God to notice me, to not forsake me, to renew my spirit, mind, body and soul.  I got soaked.

The rain has since stopped and I've come inside.  I took off my soaking wet Rejoice t-shirt and shorts and wrapped myself in the comfort of one of my long, white, cotton robes.  I took my hair out of its pony tail and brushed it as lovingly as I could.  I could feel the prana running through my body and trust me, after all the illness and drugs I've had to endure, this was an altogether much better feeling to be aware of.  I feel less sad.  I made myself a cup of tea and sat down at the computer.  As I sipped the hot tea I just made for myself, I thought of this blog and the fact that I've been posting so much about the physical and hardly anything about the spiritual.  I realize that it's partly because I've been so sick and partly because I haven't felt very spiritual.  I do feel somewhat like a worm that a bird dropped in the desert on its way back to feed its young.  The bird trying desperately to hang on to its catch, namely me, inadvertently dropped me and I landed in the worst possible of places. 

Lying in the arid desert is no place for spirit.  Or is it?

While standing in the pouring rain, I looked at all that was alive around me.  Everything was getting soaked, every leaf, every tree, every blade of grass, every delicate flower.  I could feel the somewhat localized yet universal sigh of relief after not having anything to drink for so long and then this abundance of grace.  I felt as if I belonged to all of it and I felt like it appreciated my 'free to experience the moment' presence all the while taking in what it had been waiting for for so long, and that's when I realized the desert is as appropriate a place as the side of the raging river.  Both offer an abundance of wisdom, knowledge and experience.  Both are spiritual places. 

Yes, I've been in the raging river and have enjoyed the laziness along side of it, but to be so far away from it, this I really have not enjoyed.  The dark night of soul is not an enjoyable experience.  The worm, when it realizes it will never make it back to source, gives itself over to the inevitable but the human knows better.  The human knows that one day it will return to source, one way or the other. 

For me, I am still walking out of the desert after just experiencing the best water mirage of my life.  It was so real.  It was so wet and it was so natural and unexpected.  So what am I worried about?  God would never leave me completely although the desert mirage is just as real.  One way or the other I will find my God and my God will find me, wanting. 

The world could never possibly fill my heart the way that rainfall did.  The world could never satisfy my thirst the way I know God can.  Even when my cup is empty, there is a cloud off in the distance with my name on it.  God has fashioned it this way.  He has made the high places, as well as the low.  He has allowed happiness and fullness of spirit, and he also allows sadness and emptiness.  He created the sand as well as the ocean.

If I'm smart, I will not avoid a single drop of rain but allow my soul to be submerged with an open heart, a clear conscience, and a desire to live another day, despite my circumstances.  If I'm smart, I will try to remember the raging river while in the desert.  If I'm smart, I will remember the laziness along side of the river as I battle and try to swim upstream.  If I'm smart, I will remember how wet it once felt while being as dry as I've ever been. 

"If" I'm smart.

New New

Obviously this is the old pool coming down. It was great while it lasted and we had a lot of fun in it. I'm pretty sure the girls hold the record for volley ball but the guys might protest that notion.



















Old pool gone. Old fence in background still standing. No privacy. See cars?



















Ah, much better. Now, they can't see us and we can't see them. Sweet.

New pool going up. Took about four hours. The water is another story completely.

New pool in place. Water going in slooooowly. Takes a long time to fill up a pool. So far about a day and 1/2.


























Precious water. I'm trying not to spill a drop as we put gallons into the pool. I'll use what's in the bucket to water the plants and bird baths. I've used about 5 buckets full so far.

Next we connect the filter and set up the deck alongside so we can actually get in the pool. The water is really cold so getting in the pool probably won't happen for a while.

Let me take this moment to thank God for all of His blessings and abundance that we should be able to have a beautiful house with a yard, a new fence to replace the old fence, a new pool to replace the old pool, enough water to empty the old pool (old pool water used to water the pines behind our house) and enough water to fill the new pool.

Extra water. What an amazing blessing.

God is great. He has always provided more than enough. God be praised.

Love & Namaste,