It will be a year ago tomorrow that my little boy Mango left this dimension and moved onto the next.As I type I am contemplating what to do with his ashes. I have had them the way they were given to me for almost a year now. I couldn't bare to think of not having Mango with me in some way. I had him since the day he was born until the day he died. I thought if I held onto him a little tighter that I could keep him closer. Turns out not so much.
I'm still crying for my friend, brother, son. He was never a pet to me. A brother? Yes, definitely. A friend? That goes without saying. My son? Well, yes. I've never had my own children and I raised him so...yes. My son.
It hurts me like losing a child. Still.
I can't believe it's a year already.
I remember every silly thing he used to do....like sitting at the table. He didn't go on top of the table. He didn't go under the table. He sat AT the table. Very civilized, my son.
And he was so social. He greeted everyone that came to the house.
And he fell in love with Rosie in the winter of his life.
And she fell in love with him. And then came Mohito. They all became fast friends and picked up each others habits. They were a tribe.....we were.
Yes we still are, but when one, just one member of your family is no longer in the mix it hurts. Sure there may be tens more around you, but you'll always be looking for the one that's not physically there.
Kiss someone you love today. Tell them.
Life is very, very short and love is a gift that we choose to give to one another. If someone has chosen to give you their love during this lifetime, give your love back. Kiss them. Hug them. Sacrifice for them. Show them how much you appreciate their love and energy. They don't have to give you their love....remember it's a choice. They give just as freely as you do. So give then....freely with no expectations.
The reward is a lifetime of love and memories that if you do it right the first time, you will not be left wanting. Well....just wanting more perhaps.
Mango, I hope I figure out what to do. As I look at this picture with you and the girls, I think I know. I hope so. In the meantime, I love you more than words can express I want to thank you for being my friend. xoxo Loving you always, Mom.
2 comments:
Oh honey, how I know you loved your boy. He was a lion in a cat's body. A beauty. A love and yes, a son. I get kinda bugged when well-meaning folks call them "friends". The bond is so strong. I know you feel his loving presence even now. He must be trying to convey to you to be at peace, that all is well, that he knows you loved him. He loved you too. I love that pic of him with baby MoMo!! I think he charged her with taking care to watch over you in his physical absence. Loss is never easy. His ashes? I vote for large, portable planter. Let something grow from him. He would probably like that.
Oh honey, how I know you loved your boy. He was a lion in a cat's body. A beauty. A love and yes, a son. I get kinda bugged when well-meaning folks call them "friends". The bond is so strong. I know you feel his loving presence even now. He must be trying to convey to you to be at peace, that all is well, that he knows you loved him. He loved you too. I love that pic of him with baby MoMo!! I think he charged her with taking care to watch over you in his physical absence. Loss is never easy. His ashes? I vote for large, portable planter. Let something grow from him. He would probably like that.
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