To Change, Without a Doubt

Maria & Jim back then...

Maria & Jim today . . .

We are not who we used to be. The cycle of positive change has happened quite a bit over the span of our lives. Physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, professional changes have made us the energies we are today.

Did we actually see or feel change happening everyday? Mostly not so much.

Some days, yes. Some days change arrives on our doorstep unannounced, hungry, wearing a trench coat and a hat, carrying luggage in one hand and intention to stick around for six to eight weeks in the other.

We, however, were not expecting change. We were not prepared to entertain change. We had given absolutely no thought or consideration to the possibility of change arriving let alone staying. We were just getting used to believing in ourselves and our circumstances the way they were.

So, after the angst-filled adjustment period of giving consideration to change, acceptance makes it's first appearance in the form of fresh air and open mindedness. Change has been freed on the inside and now has its place and becomes a welcomed guest.

Being the best hosts we can be, we feed change a nice meal and give it a cozy place to rest for a while so we can get used to having it around. Change makes itself at home and starts to introduce itself to everyone, including the neighbors.

Everyone knows when change comes to town, it's all anyone can speak about.

Before we know it, six months have passed and we've become quite accustomed to change. It's as if change were there all the time.

So when the news arrived that change had done it's job and would be leaving, why was change so unexpected? Why were we, once again, not prepared to entertain the possibility of change?

Change is leaving? So soon? That's impossible! What do you mean, change just got here? That can't be true! We were just getting ready to do some big things together! We were just getting used to having change around! Where is change going? How will we get along without change? What will we do now?

Even the neighbors couldn't believe the news!

Change had spent six months affecting everyone and now change was heading out. What would become of those it left behind?

Those that have been paying attention silently prepare their minds and spirits for possibilities, fresh air and open mindedness, changes coming and going. They know that to change is to evolve.

Those that have not been paying attention, will suffer the angst-filled adjustment periods of giving consideration to change until they get it right by giving change a permanent place in their lives.

Change just packs its bags and heads out to find either its next poor, unsuspecting soul to mess with or someone who has prayed for and beckoned it to arrive.

But don't worry, change will return. Change always returns.

The Summer of Rest

His Presence taken by me...

My surgery ten months ago caught me off guard. Sure I had been having some issues at the time, but I never thought I'd lose so much blood I'd be rushed off to the hospital in an ambulance. I didn't think I would survive the horrific infection I had developed from the unsuccessful first surgery the week before that! Two surgery's and one nasty infection in between in the span of three weeks. I never thought I'd need all of the rest of the summer of 2007 to recover (psst...I'm still recovering). That is my memory of the summer of 2007, a mere ten months ago, recovering from emergency surgery that left me cut, scarred, weak, anemic, fifteen pounds lighter, pale (still pale), confused, depressed, but grateful....yay, fun times.

I never saw it coming. I had had some issues as I mentioned, like most women do but I never thought in a million years I'd wind up on my bathroom floor writhing in pain, going into shock thinking that moment was going to be my last.

One minute you're fine you're hanging out, relatively happy, playing a video game (in my case XBOX 360 TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 07) minding your own business and in the next minute your body decides to do something else putting you're life in jeopardy.

This is as good as it gets. These are the bodies, minds and spirits we were divinely given. Take good care then, this is serious. You just don't know what's around the corner...it's true based on my life experience. We do know that a minute ago we were all babies...just around the corner is 27, or 45, 65, 70 or God help us 80 or 90 but what of the human condition? What of the spirit? What of the mind? What of the body? How much can yours withstand of this 'life'?

What's beyond? Who knows? But for the love of the here and now, be kind to yourself. Be kind to one another. Cultivate love. Reap and sow love. Feed your spirit. Feed your mind. Forgive easily. Take your vitamins and get your rest. Drink plenty of fluids (getting beveraged up doesn't count - although wine does have some medicinal value). "Everything in moderation..." I overheard someone say once "...even moderation in moderation". Hmmm, how 'bout stress in moderation? How 'bout no stress (self induced or otherwise)?

Surround yourself with good thoughts every day about yourself, about your mate, about your neighbor, about your enemy, about strangers cutting you off on the highway. Lower your stress levels. Have fun! Play video games. Dance. Sing. Whistle. Hum for Pete's sake. Take deep breaths. You've heard that stress kills...well, all that bad blood has got to go somewhere inside of you so be conscious of what you're allowing to build up on the inside and what you're allowing yourself to get caught up in. Be aware of your "tolerance of others" level and increase it. If the really small insignificant things bug you or steal your joy, what will happen to you when the really big stuff happens like life, death, illness and everything in between?

Life is a precious gift. Your health (as good or as bad as it is RIGHT NOW) is a gift. Go outside for a walk and thank God that you're alive. Thank him that you CAN freely walk and run today. Thank Him that you have a brain to formulate praise with today and that you are mindful of Him and all that He has given you. Pray for those that have not today. Pray for those who are ill today. Give freely of yourself.

Be mindful of your worst day physically, spiritually and mentally and do not take those lessons or another minute of your precious life for granted. Live.

So what do I know?

I know that life is really all about this moment. Recognizing, paying attention to, living in and accepting the stillness of this moment.

This moment though, is filled with physical mind vapors and sensations that can drive anyone to distraction. I can hear and feel my heart beating, my body breathing, my blood flowing. I am aware of the movement of the air in the room whether it be still or moving (which right now, it's doing both). I can hear the music playing although I've not turned on the receiver - and my constant conditioned thought patterns are saturating...what I have to do, where I have to go, what I am to be...I am drowned out by the droning.

Can I live inside the stillness of this moment despite the constant barrage of sensations. Can I find sovereignty who stands behind in silence? Can I become one with the ultimate observer?

And what of the world at large, is it too late since it is all about the antithesis. It never stops. It's taken all these years to learn what's been done. Let's hope there is still plenty of time left to undo it.

Being in the world and not of it...the first in a long line of recognition.

Before I saw it

I knew it would be good

this morning's light

as she casts herself

in peacock feathered light beams

she knows

I am one with her shadows

subtly moving

a thousand trees

speaking from the stillness

slightly swaying, saying

you can not fathom

what's just beneath the surface

just know

there is so much more

and as I compose

poetic images

from vibrations

the trees

knowing the thoughts in my head

snap their collective fingers

in approval

as I walk by

the robins have returned

and answered me

when I questioned

their whereabouts

posing eagerly for photos

bursting back into life

like springtime

in this moment

CoSM / Bodies

Yesterday was a great day. A big thank you goes out to David Crofts Monroe (Drunk With Barley) who enlightened me about some very interesting art work by way of one of my earlier posts (Einstein Intuitiveness). David likened my essay to one of Alex Grey's paintings. What a huge and important compliment! I was so humbled, I had to check it out.

Alex Grey has created one of the most astounding art exhibits I've ever seen. I checked out his website (http://www.cosm.org/) and then took my husband to see it, live and in person in downtown Manhattan. It was a gorgeous day, breezy, bright and sunny.

The Chapel of the Sacred Mirrors (CoSM) is a meditative and thought provoking place. Alex's art is bigger than life itself in my opinion. It takes you stage by stage through the human life experience including but not limited to the physical, psychic and spiritual. His portrayal of the human anatomy, be it male or female, is quite striking in that you (we all) resemble each other so completely. Once you get through the physical, the metaphysical comes into view. You realize through Alex's interpretation, that there is a wave length (or grid) that exists from this side of the planet to the other that extends through humanity, the firmament and the galaxies. Messages travel at the speed of light (and faster probably) and in a flash, information, thoughts, feelings, and intentions ride that grid instantly reaching the other side or the intended listener.

The first time I viewed the images on the web, they brought a tear to my eye. They were so revealing. I was visualizing what I've always felt on the inside...that there is so much more to the human existence than meets the eye. We are so much more than our physical bodies stripped down to bare bones. The psychic and spiritual still exist long after the body dies. It really is just a vessel and a means to an end (transference) . What you do to it, how you treat it, how you treat others all goes back to the psychic and spiritual. They exist forever. That you cannot destroy.

Mark 14:58

'I will destroy this man-made temple and in three days will build another, not made by man.'

Then we went to The Bodies Exhibit at the South Street Seaport. These real bodies are preserved through an innovative process (plasticized) and then "respectfully" presented. Uh, not so sure about the "respectfully" part. These were human beings, alive at one time displayed in an exhibit....one is holding a football, one is holding a baseball...hmmmm?

Very recently the news media have exposed the possibility that these people were prisoners from China and while they may have been overcome by some kind of accidental death, there is a suggestion that perhaps they are on display without ever giving anyone permission to do so. Opportunists have done this to them. Very interesting and very creepy.

It was strange to observe the human body in such three dimension. In most cases, there was only air between you and the 'person' your viewing. The air in the room was filtered and moving and thus, in some cases, the plasticized blood vessels moved and swayed slightly in the air. The vibrations from people moving within the room sent the 'exhibits' to shiver in some cases. BIZARRE I tell you, but from a biological standpoint truly fascinating.

They had every part of the human body exposed in various forms and layers. Fetal displays from one to nine month stages....who were they and where did they come from? That was troubling to see.

They went so far as to slice the human body in one inch increments through bone and skin displaying what one would look like had they been viewed from an MRI. You can see everything. They also had several disease filled organs on display, i.e., lungs, hearts, livers, colons. The smokers lungs were so black compared to the pinkness of the more healthy versions. The things we do to ourselves, and each other are astounding.

I would say that overall the day was extremely educational. I most enjoyed the Alex Grey exhibit and watching my husband view the exhibits with curiosity and awe. Last nights dreams were full of weird and freaky images. I'll be thinking about this for a long time to come. Thanks again to David Crofts Monroe for bringing this to our attention. It was terrific.